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"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, youll be a Mannequin, my son!"
"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you'll be a Mannequin, my son!"
Al Overy
"Hi. Can I have an hour with the one with the huge oval head, hairy ears and scaly tits?" "No sorry, Tina from Doncaster doesnt work on Saturdays. How about an Alien?"
"Hi. Can I have an hour with the one with the huge oval head, hairy ears and scaly tits?"

"No sorry, Tina from Doncaster doesn't work on Saturdays. How about an Alien?"
The Wolf
Oh bugger, I think I’ve soiled myself.
Oh bugger, I think I’ve soiled myself.
Neil Mackenzie
The first ever car to park in Liverpool
The first ever car to park in Liverpool
Mark England
The Barrowers
The Barrowers
Dan Nicholls
"Fancy a game of snooker tonight Dave?" "Sorry Phil, I cant. The wife wants me to paint the ceiling."
"Fancy a game of snooker tonight Dave?"

"Sorry Phil, I can't. The wife wants me to paint the ceiling."
Karyn Harrison
Right wing polly tricks
Right wing polly tricks
Al Overy
You should always satanise your food.
You should always satanise your food.
Ian Skelding
"Mum, why dont we patent a board game about me always being hungry?" "No, it would never catch on."
"Mum, why don't we patent a board game about me always being hungry?"

"No, it would never catch on."
Vanessa the Guesser
If you want your dishwasher to work you have to turn it on.
If you want your dishwasher to work you have to turn it on.
Karyn Harrison
"Its not what it looks like Christopher Robin. I was just licking some honey off the floor and..." "Err yes, and I was bouncing in a Tigger-ific sort of way and accidentally landed on top of him."
"It's not what it looks like Christopher Robin. I was just licking some honey off the floor and..."

"Err yes, and I was bouncing in a Tigger-ific sort of way and accidentally landed on top of him."
Stephen Bean
Mr Potato Dead
Mr Potato Dead
Dave Bryan
Of no fixed abode
Of no fixed abode
Stephen Bean
"Jane, when you said you had an affair whilst working at Monkey World, I presumed you meant with a member of staff"
"Jane, when you said you had an affair whilst working at Monkey World, I presumed you meant with a member of staff"
The Wolf
Patient: "Doc, Im in pain." Doctor: "Show me where its tender."
Patient: "Doc, I'm in pain."
Doctor: "Show me where it's tender."
Vanessa the Guesser
"Ok, this is a schematic of the Kitchen. Now, if my memory serves me correctly, the Haribo were placed in this top cupboard when the shopping was delivered on Friday. Weve only got one chance at this so I need utter bravery and determination. Grab the ch
"Ok, this is a schematic of the Kitchen. Now, if my memory serves me correctly, the Haribo were placed in this top cupboard when the shopping was delivered on Friday. We've only got one chance at this so I need utter bravery and determination. Grab the ch
The Wolf
Cant caption this. I only do one-liners.
Can't caption this. I only do one-liners.
Al Overy
Slag them off all you want, but North Koreas Covid quarantine procedures are bloody effective.
Slag them off all you want, but North Korea's Covid quarantine procedures are bloody effective.
The Wolf
What is your favourite colour? Red, but white will do if weve run out of Merlot.
''What is your favourite colour?''

''Red, but white will do if we've run out of Merlot.''

Dave Bryan
"Oh leave it son, I can easily get you another wing mirror."
"Oh leave it son, I can easily get you another wing mirror."
John Glover
"This years a bumper crop
"This year's a bumper crop
Vivvy En
BREAKING - Sniffer dog retires after largest ever cocaine find. He left on a high, said his handler.
BREAKING - Sniffer dog retires after largest ever cocaine find. 'He left on a high', said his handler.
Al Overy
"Im not playing Jumanji ever again."
"I'm not playing Jumanji ever again."
Ian Skelding
Beach bum
Beach bum
Dave Bryan
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