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"Tell me again. Who was in the back seat with Mary Hinge?"
"Tell me again. Who was in the back seat with Mary Hinge?"
Willie Johnson
“That’s okay, we only came for a swim.”
“That’s okay, we only came for a swim.”
Nina Dutton
Shes a real church goer.
She's a real church goer.
Vanessa the Guesser
"Come on then. Whos first? Ill break your f*cking arm"
"Come on then. Who's first? I'll break your f*cking arm"
Mark England
The ultimate embarrassment: when you need a tow to get back to base.
The ultimate embarrassment: when you need a tow to get back to base.
Willie Johnson
Foot notes
Foot notes
Al Overy
Its actually an antelope but the jeep it was chasing stopped suddenly
It's actually an antelope but the jeep it was chasing stopped suddenly
Mr Dome
Did you fly here? No, I came by rail.
''Did you fly here?''

''No, I came by rail.''
Dave Bryan
King of the jumble.
King of the jumble.
Nina Dutton
Meet Terry, the Friendly Tapeworm.
Meet Terry, the Friendly Tapeworm.
Michael Winner
"Sesame Street? Hmm, take the third left then its first on your right."
"Sesame Street? Hmm, take the third left then it's first on your right."
Vivvy En
Its like watching the girlfriend when she buys some new high heels.
It's like watching the girlfriend when she buys some new high heels.
Tony S
You could tell by the skid marks.
You could tell by the skid marks.
Al Overy
"Quickly, check the cushions for some change. Theres a toll booth coming up."
"Quickly, check the cushions for some change. There's a toll booth coming up."
Hercules Rockefeller
"I didnt like to say anything, so now I just wear two pairs of socks."
"I didn't like to say anything, so now I just wear two pairs of socks."
Al Overy
Mum lied. Thats no bun and it certainly didnt come out of the oven.
Mum lied. That's no bun and it certainly didn't come out of the oven.
John Glover
Dont do it. Its false advertising.
Don't do it. It's false advertising.
James Lennox
Thats one way to pick a winner.
That's one way to pick a winner.
Scrijjy Doo
Kevin, please for the love of God change your trousers.
Kevin, please for the love of God change your trousers.
Dan Nicholls
"Dear Mr Amazon, I am giving you this one star review because the weather vane I purchased does not work in my front room."
"Dear Mr Amazon, I am giving you this one star review because the weather vane I purchased does not work in my front room."
Michael Winner
"You had to throw a stone at it didnt you?"
"You had to throw a stone at it didn't you?"
The Wolf
...and escorted off the premises.
...and escorted off the premises.
Stephen Bean
"I wanted to win the goldfish"
"I wanted to win the goldfish"
Mark Wilson
"You cheating son-of-a-bitch.."
"You cheating son-of-a-bitch.."
Vanessa the Guesser
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