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"... and this one commemorates my 50th wedding anniversary."  "My God, youve been married 50 years?"  "No, Ive been married 50 times."
"... and this one commemorates my 50th wedding anniversary."  "My God, youve been married 50 years?"  "No, Ive been married 50 times." photo | portfolio
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James Lennox Vote score: 11524James Lennox

"... and this one commemorates my 50th wedding anniversary."

"My God, you've been married 50 years?"

"No, I've been married 50 times."

06/04/22 20:45:10

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 21417Dave Bryan

''You've been a government minister for many years now, Mr Umbala. What is it about politics that you find so appealing?''

06/04/22 21:11:42

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 12051Chris Keegan

Thanks to Chris Beach offers come pouring in for the new monthly prize.

06/04/22 20:13:23

 
Al Overy Vote score: 12544Al Overy

"He makes the gold jewellery from scratch AND sells it himself too."

"Well, then he who smelt it dealt it."

06/04/22 20:04:33

 1
He must have a fart of gold. --Karyn Harrison
Mr Dome  Vote score: 14036Mr Dome

He works in the morgue

06/04/22 20:44:19

 
Dave E Vote score: 661Dave E

Hey, that's the Nigerian bloke who promised me $30,000,000 for £250 postage and packing!

06/04/22 20:21:32

 
Tony S Vote score: 5107Tony S

"How can I get his attention?"
"Just shout A U."

06/04/22 20:26:10

 
Al Overy Vote score: 12544Al Overy

"I'm going to need you to come to the station with me, Sir. You fit the description of a man seen burgling Mr T's house."

06/04/22 20:09:43

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 35751Tony Edwards

Bling-and-buy sale

06/04/22 20:58:28

 
Mark England Vote score: 19838Mark England

Shirley Bassey's biggest fan

06/04/22 20:30:00

 
Madeline Charlton Vote score: 255Madeline Charlton

King Midas was beginning to see the effects of what happened when everything he touched turned to gold. How on earth was he supposed to pick his nose now?

06/04/22 20:13:58

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 13233Neil Mackenzie

His wife says he can’t be trusted to wash up because he’s too heavy handed.

07/04/22 10:45:29

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 5313Scrijjy Doo

It's a shame he drowned.

06/04/22 23:42:23

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 12051Chris Keegan

BREAKING, exclusive photo of person holding up security checks at Heathrow.

06/04/22 20:24:18

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 9836Glyn Evans

"They call me Beacon"

"My superpower involves reflecting the sun's rays into villain's eyes using the power of my bald head and other shiny things"

06/04/22 20:09:54

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 28560Ian Skelding

“Leroy had lots of charm.”

06/04/22 20:08:41

 
Mark England Vote score: 19838Mark England

Some people say that George has the Midas touch

06/04/22 20:08:33

 
Al Overy Vote score: 12544Al Overy

"What do you mean everytime my Mum wants some action, she gives you a ring?"

06/04/22 20:02:21

 
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