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What big ears you have, grandma.  All the better to hear you with, my dear.  What big eyes you have, grandma.  All the better to see you with, my dear.  What big teeth you...
What big ears you have, grandma.  All the better to hear you with, my dear.  What big eyes you have, grandma.  All the better to see you with, my dear.  What big teeth you... photo | portfolio
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captions

Dave Bryan Vote score: 17998Dave Bryan

''What big ears you have, grandma.''

''All the better to hear you with, my dear.''

''What big eyes you have, grandma.''

''All the better to see you with, my dear.''

''What big teeth you have, grandma.''

''I've come across some fucking dumb kids in my time but........''

Mon 20:39:16

 2
I feel sorry for the Grandma. Imagine having a granddaughter who can't tell who you are straight away.  --Glyn Evans
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5818Lucky Elperro

"For dressing me up like a tw*t, tomorrow instead of doing one big poo in the park, I shall be doing multiple smaller ones until you run out of bags"

Mon 21:28:11

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 8570Vivvy En

"Dave, are you sure you've been taking your worming pills? And must you keep scratching like that?"
At times, Dave's wife could be a right, nagging old bitch.

Mon 20:39:53

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 8960Glyn Evans

"I'll huff and I'll puff..."
"Granny you need to lay off the cigarettes"

Mon 20:09:50

 
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 6264Tosser Wivlov

"I was expecting someone younger."
"Well I was expecting a wolf, so hard luck."

Mon 20:35:50

 
Tony S Vote score: 3108Tony S

"It's been a busy day first I had to get my eyes tested then go to the vets, who is going to tell granny we had to have the dog put down?"

Mon 20:08:18

 
James Lennox Vote score: 9845James Lennox

The Wolf was having a good week until the sordid pictures from his past surfaced.

Mon 20:23:31

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 12772Mr Dome

- So, Christmas party last night, love. How are you feeling?
- Woof

Tue 7:35:42

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 17998Dave Bryan

''So, Mrs Jones, every Saturday night this wolf breaks into your house and starts knitting.''

''That's right, officer. Can you expain it?''

''I think I can see a pattern.''

Mon 21:04:59

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 6595Karyn Harrison

Nip one purl one

Mon 20:35:15

 
The Wolf Vote score: 14247The Wolf

"Check your shoes Dave. I can smell human shit."

Mon 20:20:27

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 11189Chris Keegan

'Darling, I'm so very sorry, I saw the note but being confused I sorted out Molly with her bits and pieces and then I took your mum out for a poo...'

Mon 20:19:10

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 6595Karyn Harrison

"Don't get too close. He's a cross dresser."

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? I'M A THEY/THEM NOW, REMEMBER?"

Mon 20:10:22

 
The Wolf Vote score: 14247The Wolf

"Aww not tonight love, I've genuinely got a headache and I've just washed my hair and done my nails. Besides, I promised next door that I'd make a jumper for the puppy. He bloody needs it at the moment, it's been freezing since that storm. Talking of which, I'm a celebrity has been cancelled again. At this rate we'll never find out if Naughty Boy goes home to see his mum. It's so cold I can't be bothered to go for a walk. I'll need to though because I've got an upset stomach. Talking of which......ooh, I'm sorry about that, you'll have to excuse me but if I keep it in I'll have belly ache. It's alright for Mittens, she just goes in the litter tray next to the radiator, lucky bastard. Oh that stinks, open a window if you want. Did Dave eat all of the Quavers?"

Mon 20:03:12

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 20300Stephen Bean

"What a big ball of wool you have Granny."

"Well, I've not had any time to knit this week. I've been thinking of amazing captions instead."

Mon 20:01:47

 1
Amazing captions? Whose were they? Sorry, don't bark at me. I'm such a knitwit, I didn't mean to be so ruff on you. Wool you forgive me? I know you spin a good yarn and would love to sit and stay, but I really need to go for walkies. --Willie Johnson
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 12405Neil Mackenzie

For years the Wolf had been the baddy in this story, but not any more! Stonewall went after Little Red Riding Hood for not accepting if the Wolf identifies as Grandma then he his Grandma.

Tue 7:54:47

 1
The Wolf only identifies as Grandma after he's eaten Grandma and it's only as a ruse to disguise himself as a close relative to Red Riding Hood so he can gain her trust. The Wolf's effectively a paedo in a dress.  --Glyn Evans
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 4338Scrijjy Doo

Afghan Hound

Tue 2:52:48

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 1110Charles Gilbert

The Littlest Hobo comes out.

Tue 1:01:15

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 22111Troompa Loompa

"Gran what's happened to your voice? You seem to have gone a bit husky."

Mon 21:10:32

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34811Tony Edwards

What a f*cking liberty!"

Mon 21:01:28

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 11189Chris Keegan

I'm not sure about the lights on the bed.

Mon 20:54:35

 
Dot Old Vote score: 1680Dot Old

"Are you going to knit me a Shetland jumper then Rex?"

"Very funny."

Mon 20:37:20

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 16543Vanessa the Guesser

Another old dog spotted in Wayne Rooney's bedroom.

Mon 20:29:31

 
The Wolf Vote score: 14247The Wolf

"A walk? No thanks."

Mon 20:25:48

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 16543Vanessa the Guesser

Old man's best friend.

Mon 20:19:13

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 11189Chris Keegan

Sorry love, you clearly didn't sleep well, you're looking seriously ruff this morning

Mon 20:09:11

 
Tony S Vote score: 3108Tony S

My Granny caught the new Omicron varient , she is ok just felt a little ruff for a few days.

Mon 20:04:11

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 8570Vivvy En

I looked at the wife and thought 'I really need a drink'

Mon 20:03:22

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 6595Karyn Harrison

"I'm beginning to wonder about Rex."

Mon 20:02:58

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8898Hercules Rockefeller

"I know you call me a Good Boy, but deep down, this is who I really am."

Mon 20:02:54

 
Chris Halliwell Vote score: 5465Chris Halliwell

Golden Girl Retriever.

Mon 20:01:50

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1516alexandra ball

Granny Hood.

Mon 20:00:54

 
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