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Blimey! All I caught was a rubber duck!

07/01/22 8:00:09

His proposal to Julie didn't go as planned that night after Bill found a better use for the engagement ring.

07/01/22 8:35:27

Dave was celebrating his Guinness Book of Records entry for the world's longest left shoulder

07/01/22 10:52:57

Stoneface, meet Mittens; Mittens... Oh...

07/01/22 8:00:47

As they say in cardiac surgery, 'cold hands, shawarma heart'.

07/01/22 9:51:05

"Hmmmm, I'm gonna lick you and cover you in sauce"

Bill's wife was glad to have a day off.

07/01/22 8:19:04

“Excuse me waiter, my kebab is now horizontal.”
‘Please make your way to the lifeboats.’

07/01/22 8:15:23

Shish happens

07/01/22 8:05:07

"Stunningly beautiful, searching for you all my life. These are words a girl dreams to hear on a first date Dave"

"Oh sorry, forgot you were still here Sandra"

07/01/22 8:52:23

“It needs taking off, taken apart and starting again.”
“Yeah, he said he was giving his jumper back to his Nan.”

07/01/22 8:08:40

Bet you can't eat three.

07/01/22 8:01:50

It was round three of the Arbitrary Restaurant eating contest and the steaks were getting higher...

07/01/22 8:00:31

"I think I'll try Veganuary next year."

07/01/22 8:00:12