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"Ok Google. A man runs you over and straps you into the passenger seat of his car thinking youre roadkill. Hes now masturbating whilst ordering a Big Mac meal at the drive thru. What are my options?"
"Ok Google. A man runs you over and straps you into the passenger seat of his car thinking youre roadkill. Hes now masturbating whilst ordering a Big Mac meal at the drive thru. What are my options?" photo | portfolio
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This photo is more than three days old, so captioning is over



The Wolf Vote score: 13637The Wolf

"Ok Google. A man runs you over and straps you into the passenger seat of his car thinking you're roadkill. He's now masturbating whilst ordering a Big Mac meal at the drive thru. What are my options?"

28/09/21 20:20:13

 3
Whatever you do, don't ask for a milkshake. --James Lennox
The Wolf Vote score: 13637The Wolf

"Hertz car hire, how may I help?"

"Yes hi. Does the steering wheel come any further out?"

28/09/21 20:09:58

 1
His feet still don't reach the pedals. He's not going anywhere. (*It took me a minute to get the joke in the caption.) --Willie Johnson
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8760Hercules Rockefeller

Rabies On Board

28/09/21 20:01:16

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 16127Vanessa the Guesser

"Wish I'd stolen a car with petrol in it!"

28/09/21 20:02:46

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10762Chris Keegan

'Audition went well, got myself a part in a new movie 'The Masked Fox' but haven't been told which part I'm playing yet'

28/09/21 20:48:24

 
Al Overy Vote score: 8216Al Overy

"What's he watching?"

"Just some old trash."

28/09/21 20:01:01

 
James Lennox Vote score: 9453James Lennox

Meanwhile, Susan sat quietly in the back seat, wondering why she was dating a taxidermist.

28/09/21 20:42:56

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 16242Dan Nicholls

"I DON'T CARE WHAT THE MAN AT PETS AT HOME SAID, TAKE IT BACK".

28/09/21 20:03:46

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 16127Vanessa the Guesser

Another HGV driver accepts job offer in the UK.

28/09/21 20:01:12

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10762Chris Keegan

"Result! Blagged my way into some 'Battersea' place and have been adopted! Will send money back home as soon as I can"

28/09/21 20:40:11

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5697Lucky Elperro

"Hello 911 - I saw some Oreos in a Chevrolet so I broke into it, but I've got my balls stuck in the seat belt"

28/09/21 20:12:05

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 12243Neil Mackenzie

We asked an intelligent North American did he vote for Biden?

29/09/21 8:06:55

 1
He didn't answer and ran away wearing a mask. --Willie Johnson
The Wolf Vote score: 13637The Wolf

YouTube. How does a Raccoon escape from a seatbelt in a car that's going to explode in 4 seconds?

Your video will start in 5 seconds...

28/09/21 21:07:06

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 26227Ian Skelding

"In the back there's a Coati,Ringtail and a Kinkajous, it's the Procyonidae family car."

28/09/21 20:55:25

 1
Good Car-nivore joke. I bet the car has a 'Procyon lotor' motor. --Willie Johnson
Stephen Bean Vote score: 19327Stephen Bean

*thinks* So all you have to do to make a human jump into a smelly bin bag is to steal one of these things off them and pretend to hide it inside.

28/09/21 20:34:16

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1450alexandra ball

This bus ain't moving till I check my stocks and shares.

28/09/21 20:14:00

 
James Lennox Vote score: 9453James Lennox

"So, now I'm wearing a seatbelt, my nuts should be safe for the winter, right?"

28/09/21 20:00:40

 
Al Overy Vote score: 8216Al Overy

Guardian of the Galaxy

28/09/21 20:00:09

 
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