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Have I married a mythical creature?  Yes, Im a virgin from Essex.
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''Have I married a mythical creature?''

''Yes, I'm a virgin from Essex.''

Thu 20:04:12

 1
There's "sex" in Essex? No way!If it's all a matter of "sex", why are Essex Girls highly sexualised and Sussex Girls aren't? Is Essex Yessex?  --Glyn Evans

"Scotty, I think the transporter is playing up again."

Thu 20:00:09

 

"I don't know what she sees in him."
"Three words: Very. Long. Tongue."

Thu 20:16:48

 1
Good for necking. --Willie Johnson

"Beats dancing with Wolves."

Thu 20:11:03

 1
They do always insist on the Foxtrot. --Glyn Evans

Party animals

Thu 20:09:46

 

I truly think that experimenting on animals has gone too far. Putting them through marriage is simply too cruel and should be banned.

Thu 20:01:08

 1
They went into it of their own free will. It's if there's matchmaking involved or if it's pre-arranged that it becomes an experiment.  --Glyn Evans

"No, this is goodbye. You'll find another unicorn."

Fri 7:27:05

 1
There's plenty of myth in the sea --Glyn Evans

"Can we talk?..."

"Apparently we CAN...."

Fri 4:23:21

 

"...and most of all: I want a stable relationship."

Fri 7:17:23

 

"I have a unique horn".
"You're havin' a giraffe".
"No, but you will be later."

Fri 5:21:42

 

"when I get you upstairs, I am gonna rip that dress of you and do things to you all night that you never even dreamed of"

"You're such an animal"

Thu 23:06:12

 

"Possible side effects include..."

Thu 20:32:56

 

It was rather romantic until they both left a massive pile of shite on the dance floor.

Thu 20:23:09

 

🎵..It’s a nice day for a wild wedding..🎵

Thu 20:19:23

 

They met on The Jerry Springer Show.

Thu 20:16:06

 

"We just got married. Why the long face?"

Thu 20:12:57

 

The Masked Swingers

Thu 20:12:26

 

''I can't get this head off.''

''Neither can I.''

FOR ONE WEEK ONLY: Enjoy It While You Can

''Superglue is always funny.''

Thu 20:00:10

 

"They met on a dating site"
"How can you tell?"
"Oh, come on. It's obvious she's a bot. Unicorns aren't real"

Fri 8:20:43

 

Foal-ish Love

Fri 7:35:32

 

"...wonder if they're hoofers."

Fri 7:28:58

 

"I mean it: You could win 'Myth Universe.' "

Fri 7:26:10

 

"Last night, who was that guy on your back?"

Fri 7:18:33

 

"Yeah, they ALL love me––'til they brush me off."

Fri 7:03:09

 

Something bout Covid...

Fri 6:36:33

 

Plot twist:

Actual couple perpetrating a massive jewel heist while stand-ins provide the perfect alibi.

Fri 6:35:42

 

Is... is the Tom Cruise in the background?!

Fri 6:32:55

 

Saturday Night Fever Dream.

Fri 6:32:08

 

I hear he's still a virgin...

Fri 6:31:11

 

"They're two Quarter horses...(and THREE-QUARTERS people)."

Fri 4:29:17

 

Night Mares

Fri 4:25:15

 

Fundulates

Fri 4:20:29

 

"..funny thing is their 'wedding contract' has a rider."

Fri 4:19:26

 

🎵 Wild thing, you make my heart sing...🎵

Fri 4:14:40

 

It's definitely a shit game of Twistwr

Thu 22:58:15

 

Rumba in the jungle

Thu 22:56:55

 

Disco deviant

Thu 22:56:21

 

They met on Zoosk

Thu 22:55:57

 

They just got hitched.

Thu 21:00:48

 

"How come the groom has been so quite all night?"

"She told him to wind his neck in."

Thu 21:00:25

 

"That looks great, LED?"
"No, LSD."

Thu 20:42:35

 

“Did you toss the bouquet?”
“No, I ate it.”

Thu 20:42:26

 

Sorry love, this isn't going to work. What I said was I wanted the reception themed all about me...Wild Wife!

Thu 20:35:30

 

You look so perky, are you wearing zebra?

Thu 20:17:24

 

''Why have you got that antenna sticking out of your head?''

''I wanted a good reception.''

Thu 20:13:52

 

Fairytale Wedding or Tall Story?

Thu 20:07:02

 

“Everybody’s staring.”
“God damn rubbernecks.”

Thu 20:04:11

 

Prancing with the Stars

Thu 20:03:32

 

Animal Nightlife

Thu 20:01:58

 

The pranks escalated to the point where Titania and Oberon eventually just gave up.

Thu 20:00:23

 

She had made him crank his neck in, and he had made her horny.

Thu 20:00:07

 
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