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Have I married a mythical creature?  Yes, Im a virgin from Essex.
Have I married a mythical creature?  Yes, Im a virgin from Essex. photo | portfolio
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''Have I married a mythical creature?''

''Yes, I'm a virgin from Essex.''

Thu 20:04:12

There's "sex" in Essex? No way!If it's all a matter of "sex", why are Essex Girls highly sexualised and Sussex Girls aren't? Is Essex Yessex?  --Glyn Evans

"Scotty, I think the transporter is playing up again."

Thu 20:00:09


"I don't know what she sees in him."
"Three words: Very. Long. Tongue."

Thu 20:16:48

Good for necking. --Willie Johnson

"Beats dancing with Wolves."

Thu 20:11:03

They do always insist on the Foxtrot. --Glyn Evans

Party animals

Thu 20:09:46


I truly think that experimenting on animals has gone too far. Putting them through marriage is simply too cruel and should be banned.

Thu 20:01:08

They went into it of their own free will. It's if there's matchmaking involved or if it's pre-arranged that it becomes an experiment.  --Glyn Evans

"No, this is goodbye. You'll find another unicorn."

Fri 7:27:05

There's plenty of myth in the sea --Glyn Evans

"Can we talk?..."

"Apparently we CAN...."

Fri 4:23:21


"...and most of all: I want a stable relationship."

Fri 7:17:23


"I have a unique horn".
"You're havin' a giraffe".
"No, but you will be later."

Fri 5:21:42


"when I get you upstairs, I am gonna rip that dress of you and do things to you all night that you never even dreamed of"

"You're such an animal"

Thu 23:06:12


"Possible side effects include..."

Thu 20:32:56


It was rather romantic until they both left a massive pile of shite on the dance floor.

Thu 20:23:09


🎵..It’s a nice day for a wild wedding..🎵

Thu 20:19:23


They met on The Jerry Springer Show.

Thu 20:16:06


"We just got married. Why the long face?"

Thu 20:12:57


The Masked Swingers

Thu 20:12:26


''I can't get this head off.''

''Neither can I.''

FOR ONE WEEK ONLY: Enjoy It While You Can

''Superglue is always funny.''

Thu 20:00:10


"They met on a dating site"
"How can you tell?"
"Oh, come on. It's obvious she's a bot. Unicorns aren't real"

Fri 8:20:43


Foal-ish Love

Fri 7:35:32


"...wonder if they're hoofers."

Fri 7:28:58


"I mean it: You could win 'Myth Universe.' "

Fri 7:26:10


"Last night, who was that guy on your back?"

Fri 7:18:33


"Yeah, they ALL love me––'til they brush me off."

Fri 7:03:09


Something bout Covid...

Fri 6:36:33


Plot twist:

Actual couple perpetrating a massive jewel heist while stand-ins provide the perfect alibi.

Fri 6:35:42


Is... is the Tom Cruise in the background?!

Fri 6:32:55


Saturday Night Fever Dream.

Fri 6:32:08


I hear he's still a virgin...

Fri 6:31:11


"They're two Quarter horses...(and THREE-QUARTERS people)."

Fri 4:29:17


Night Mares

Fri 4:25:15



Fri 4:20:29


"..funny thing is their 'wedding contract' has a rider."

Fri 4:19:26


🎵 Wild thing, you make my heart sing...🎵

Fri 4:14:40


It's definitely a shit game of Twistwr

Thu 22:58:15


Rumba in the jungle

Thu 22:56:55


Disco deviant

Thu 22:56:21


They met on Zoosk

Thu 22:55:57


They just got hitched.

Thu 21:00:48


"How come the groom has been so quite all night?"

"She told him to wind his neck in."

Thu 21:00:25


"That looks great, LED?"
"No, LSD."

Thu 20:42:35


“Did you toss the bouquet?”
“No, I ate it.”

Thu 20:42:26


Sorry love, this isn't going to work. What I said was I wanted the reception themed all about me...Wild Wife!

Thu 20:35:30


You look so perky, are you wearing zebra?

Thu 20:17:24


''Why have you got that antenna sticking out of your head?''

''I wanted a good reception.''

Thu 20:13:52


Fairytale Wedding or Tall Story?

Thu 20:07:02


“Everybody’s staring.”
“God damn rubbernecks.”

Thu 20:04:11


Prancing with the Stars

Thu 20:03:32


Animal Nightlife

Thu 20:01:58


The pranks escalated to the point where Titania and Oberon eventually just gave up.

Thu 20:00:23


She had made him crank his neck in, and he had made her horny.

Thu 20:00:07

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