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"Dave, what do the instructions say about feeding?"  "It says, 为方便起见,使用瓶装配方 Wèi fāngbiàn qǐjiàn, shǐyòng píngzhuāng pèifāng"

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The Wolf Vote score: 15351The Wolf

"Dave, what do the instructions say about feeding?"

"It says, 为方便起见,使用瓶装配方
Wèi fāngbiàn qǐjiàn, shǐyòng píngzhuāng pèifāng"

08/01/22 12:54:03

 
The Wolf Vote score: 15351The Wolf

"Typical bloody Ikea. There's a leg missing."

08/01/22 12:42:40

 
Al Overy Vote score: 10008Al Overy

SMALL PRINT:

Initial setup - free. Running costs in the region of £231,000.

08/01/22 14:25:13

 
Al Overy Vote score: 10008Al Overy

I must've done something wrong - this one's leaking.

08/01/22 12:05:23

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 18864Dave Bryan

''According to the manual, one screw should do it.''

08/01/22 12:01:43

 
Tony S Vote score: 3839Tony S

I placed the order in 15 seconds but took 9 months for delivery.

08/01/22 12:09:03

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 18864Dave Bryan

''No tools required''

Except One

08/01/22 12:00:28

 2
Maybe the dad is a tool. --Willie Johnson
Mr Dome  Vote score: 13174Mr Dome

Insert tool to box, release, remove and wait 9 months

08/01/22 13:37:06

 
The Wolf Vote score: 15351The Wolf

"This one stinks, can I change it?"

"That's the idea, Sir"

08/01/22 13:14:03

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 16815Vanessa the Guesser

"Now how do I set sleep mode?"

08/01/22 12:09:43

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 4298Mark Wilson

"Stop rushing me, it's tricky"

"But the baby should be in nursery school by now Dave"

08/01/22 23:20:19

 
Tony S Vote score: 3839Tony S

"No you are right dear it does say that there will be lots of crying , dribbling , regular need for feeding and defecation. So I shall hold the baby while you go to the bathroom again."

08/01/22 12:52:29

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 4622Scrijjy Doo

"How can I take care of a baby if I can't even take care of my own hair?"

08/01/22 12:43:19

 
Al Overy Vote score: 10008Al Overy

"Comes in a box, eh? Just like his dad."

08/01/22 12:08:13

 
Al Overy Vote score: 10008Al Overy

"First, simply get your four fundamental macromolecular components: nucleic acids (including DNA and RNA), proteins, lipids and glycans..."

08/01/22 12:04:59

 
Molly R Vote score: 3309Molly R

They didn't say it would take nine months to complete, and it's not so much fun at the end as it is at the beginning.

08/01/22 12:00:12

 
Glad You Remember Vote score: 1560Glad You Remember

Because OnAdventureWithBloke wasn't getting enough likes.

08/01/22 12:49:57

 
The Wolf Vote score: 15351The Wolf

"Customer service how may I help?"

"Yeah I'd like to return this. It doesn't look anything like Donald Trump."

08/01/22 12:46:21

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 4622Scrijjy Doo

"This time I'll have to remember not to leave it out in the cold."

08/01/22 12:41:20

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 27177Ian Skelding

All Tom found in the box was a test tube.

08/01/22 12:16:13

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 27177Ian Skelding

Helpline : Contact 10 Downing Street and ask for Boris.

08/01/22 12:08:55

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 21209Stephen Bean

Manual labour

08/01/22 12:04:24

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1600alexandra ball

I wanted the blue box, there's a part missing.

08/01/22 12:03:47

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 9223Glyn Evans

Throw away the baby, play with the bubble wrap.

08/01/22 12:02:25

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 16815Vanessa the Guesser

"'You will need 20 nails.' What about a hammer?"

08/01/22 12:00:47

 1
Hammer toe? --Willie Johnson
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