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There was a young man from Chantilly Who humped random plants, which was silly Mounting cacti is bad! He proclaimed to his dad As the nurses pulled spikes from his willy
There was a young man from Chantilly Who humped random plants, which was silly Mounting cacti is bad! He proclaimed to his dad As the nurses pulled spikes from his willy photo | portfolio
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Al Overy Vote score: 5346Al Overy

There was a young man from Chantilly
Who humped random plants, which was silly
'Mounting cacti is bad!'
He proclaimed to his dad
As the nurses pulled spikes from his willy

26/04/21 12:05:10

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16070Stephen Bean

Sex on the beech

26/04/21 12:00:42

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5784Karyn Harrison

"It started with a bit of tree hugging. I just got carried away."

26/04/21 12:10:39

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 14417Dave Bryan

''I didn't intend to molest the tree, officer. It led me on.''

''Not that old chestnut?''

26/04/21 12:06:39

 3
Have you changed the word order since I voted? I think it might work better if you changed the last bit to "It led me on officer" and got rid of the 'but'. --Karyn Harrison
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33914Tony Edwards

No tossing the caber

26/04/21 12:00:55

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5488Kenny Ireland

"Screw yew".

26/04/21 12:05:25

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5488Kenny Ireland

"No fernication".

26/04/21 12:40:06

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 14417Dave Bryan

.....or you will be arrested by the copse.

26/04/21 12:00:46

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12273The Wolf

Forest Hump

26/04/21 12:00:05

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11837Neil Mackenzie

He’s got sex on the grain.

26/04/21 19:41:04

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5239Lucky Elperro

Molesting the visitors is fine, but don't touch the trees and shrubs!

26/04/21 18:11:55

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20723Troompa Loompa

"It's okay, I'm wearing a Shrubber Johnny."

26/04/21 12:02:03

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20723Troompa Loompa

...stay out of the bush too.

26/04/21 12:00:18

 
Al Overy Vote score: 5346Al Overy

"That's not how we fertilize the plants, Tim. Oh, dear... Someone get the hose."

26/04/21 16:37:36

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14919Vanessa the Guesser

Sorry, it's just that tight trunks are such a turn on.

26/04/21 15:36:47

 
GeeDee Vote score: 2898GeeDee

Woody Woodpecker

26/04/21 15:15:56

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11614Mr Dome

Tree Willy

26/04/21 12:07:37

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16070Stephen Bean

♪ All yew need is love

26/04/21 12:06:56

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16070Stephen Bean

...or you might catch crotch elm disease.

26/04/21 12:17:28

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11614Mr Dome

But molesting either trees or shrubs is fine

26/04/21 12:09:33

 1
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16070Stephen Bean

Forrest Hump

26/04/21 12:00:09

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11837Neil Mackenzie

Of course I don’t need protection, I only shag rubber trees.

26/04/21 19:40:10

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 7488Vivvy En

But it's hard to resist getting your chopper out when they are so well-enboughed

26/04/21 19:13:43

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11614Mr Dome

Log jam

26/04/21 16:36:48

 
stone face Vote score: 9419stone face

Call Special Branch..

26/04/21 16:36:45

 
Ryan French Vote score: 48Ryan French

Can't help it, it's in my roots.

26/04/21 15:07:09

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7921Glyn Evans

The Jungle Fuck

26/04/21 14:47:40

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1184alexandra ball

Nightmare on Elm street.

26/04/21 14:28:08

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8089Hercules Rockefeller

"I thought you said that Dave didn't like to beat around the bush?"

26/04/21 13:55:22

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8089Hercules Rockefeller

"You don't understand, its naughthole looked so inviting!"

26/04/21 13:51:58

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6675Greg Curtis

“Next stop: Lake Flacid.”

26/04/21 13:14:24

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16070Stephen Bean

Fifty Shades of Grey Poplar

26/04/21 13:07:03

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2659Willie Johnson

So tell me whether this is molesting:
Chopping down a tree, cutting it into pieces and cutting all the rough parts off, then taking one piece and gouging out letters and painting it, and then taking another large piece and pounding it into the ground and nailing the two pieces together then sealing it so the wood can't breathe.

26/04/21 13:06:27

 1
Michael Winner Vote score: 24144Michael Winner

He's a known frondler.

26/04/21 12:48:40

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21521John Glover

Sid just loves a notty ash.

26/04/21 12:46:39

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5784Karyn Harrison

Raping Mother Nature

26/04/21 12:39:35

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24144Michael Winner

It's a Seeder tree.

26/04/21 12:38:19

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6675Greg Curtis

"I love the smell of a country walk."

26/04/21 12:31:08

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11614Mr Dome

Just how deep would you go into the bush?

26/04/21 12:29:37

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16070Stephen Bean

"I was just playing copse and rubbers."

26/04/21 12:25:45

 1
Nina Dutton Vote score: 216Nina Dutton

Jack has a bean-stalker

26/04/21 12:23:13

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5488Kenny Ireland

"...or rape seed."

26/04/21 12:11:50

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24854Ian Skelding

No deflowering.

26/04/21 12:11:35

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20723Troompa Loompa

9 months later they had a little baby Triffid.

26/04/21 12:11:02

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24854Ian Skelding

"Get that Lumber jack off."

26/04/21 12:08:17

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20723Troompa Loompa

The Guy Who Shagged Tree

26/04/21 12:06:25

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20723Troompa Loompa

It hadn't even occurred to him. It was the sign that planted the seed.

26/04/21 12:04:02

 
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