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Dave, you could have chosen any girl in the world to be your wife. Why did you pygmy?
Dave, you could have chosen any girl in the world to be your wife. Why did you pygmy? photo | portfolio
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Dave Bryan Vote score: 14013Dave Bryan

''Dave, you could have chosen any girl in the world to be your wife. Why did you pygmy?''

07/04/21 8:13:42

Molly R Vote score: 2639Molly R

"OK, tomorrow you can come golfing with me - you'll suit it to a tee."

07/04/21 8:22:58

Is her name Peg? --Vivvy En
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11448Mr Dome

- Gosh you really are quite small aren't you?
- I'm a grower not a shower, Daphne

07/04/21 8:44:35

John  Glover Vote score: 21440John Glover

Not what Grace expected when Ted suggested a couple of highballs.

07/04/21 13:18:57

Mark England Vote score: 17962Mark England

"I hate it when sand gets on my ball"
"You should try wearing longer trunks"

07/04/21 8:19:28

Greg Curtis Vote score: 6541Greg Curtis

"To pick up a woman, you must tease her first."

07/04/21 11:57:33

Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 828Ellen Duncalf

“They say opposites attract. You are tall and I am short.”

“And I am slim and handsome whilst you are fat and ugly.”

07/04/21 9:58:13

Mark Wilson Vote score: 2788Mark Wilson

Made of leather? which one Dave or the ball?

07/04/21 9:32:14

James Lennox Vote score: 8061James Lennox

10 feet from the summit, Edmund Hillary assures Tenzig Norgay he isn't suffering from altitude sickness.

07/04/21 8:46:29

James Lennox Vote score: 8061James Lennox

"Ha ha, you can't even reach it, you little black boy."

John wasn't only racist, he was also colour-blind, and a moron.

07/04/21 8:10:32

Glyn Evans Vote score: 7796Glyn Evans

"They shouldn't be doing that, I wish those Greek Gods would put the eclipse back"

07/04/21 8:08:27

Ian Skelding Vote score: 24475Ian Skelding

Poor Gulliver woke up with one of his eyeballs missing.

07/04/21 8:07:15

Tony S Vote score: 1400Tony S

Charles was able to take his mum on a lovely holiday thanks to the compensation money paid out by Henry VIII for his wrongful arrest and interrogation on the rack.

07/04/21 8:05:56

I like the fact that you've used the name Charles. It's almost as if Henry VIII has been arresting future monarchs or princes from stealing the throne away from him, although with the whole time scale scenario that would be entirely ridiculous! ... --Glyn Evans
Al Overy Vote score: 4775Al Overy

Stretch on the beach

07/04/21 8:00:11

Gavin Smithers Vote score: 456Gavin Smithers

Peter Crouch learned heading from his mum.

08/04/21 23:45:36

SnapDragon D Vote score: 153SnapDragon D

Special thanks to the thoughtful soul who gave us the wedding gift of a shoehorn.

07/04/21 13:53:58

Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11707Neil Mackenzie

She fetched him so she always had Son on the beach, and he brought his Mum so he always had Annette.

07/04/21 11:37:32

C CaMel Vote score: 7032C CaMel

Long-short Drift

07/04/21 10:35:40

Chris Keegan Vote score: 10350Chris Keegan

Sally is clearly not embarrassed about playing with Franks balls, you've got to hand it to her.

07/04/21 10:27:23

Tony Edwards Vote score: 33732Tony Edwards

Abbey likes being vertically challenged.

07/04/21 10:24:13

Mark Wilson Vote score: 2788Mark Wilson

"You sure you don't know what happened to the false tan creme Dave?"

07/04/21 9:22:40

Nina Dutton Vote score: 58Nina Dutton

John was always taunting Jane with his balls.

07/04/21 9:03:31

Willie Johnson Vote score: 2534Willie Johnson

He enjoyed keeping desired objects just out of reach of short people.
She enjoyed showing people who like to tease, just how swiftly she could raise her right foot up to crotch height.

07/04/21 9:02:24

Mr Dome  Vote score: 11448Mr Dome

Geordies enjoy their one day of sunshine for the year on Tynemouth beach, January 2021

07/04/21 8:41:40

Vivvy En Vote score: 7432Vivvy En

"Dave, you are strange. You let me touch your balls last night."

07/04/21 8:37:13

Tony S Vote score: 1400Tony S

I think it has something to do with when I was pregnant with you I had the Astra Zenica jab, I wasn't too concerned when you were born but now you are 5

07/04/21 8:19:59

Tony S Vote score: 1400Tony S

Julie isn't very tall she only comes up to his balls

07/04/21 8:07:24

Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7932Hercules Rockefeller

Andre sends a blistering volley over Annette.

07/04/21 8:01:14

Al Overy Vote score: 4775Al Overy

George's Marvellous Medicine Ball

07/04/21 8:00:20

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