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"Are you sure your mother will be ok minding three kids, next to the river bank?"
"Are you sure your mother will be ok minding three kids, next to the river bank?" photo | portfolio
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stone face Vote score: 8729stone face

"Are you sure your mother will be ok minding three kids, next to the river bank?"

09/02/21 8:15:34

 
stone face Vote score: 8729stone face

It was tiring work shoplifting baguettes for a living..

09/02/21 8:05:44

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 13169Dave Bryan

''She's asleep. Why don't we snatch the bag, Dave?''

''Don't you think she's a bit heavy.''

09/02/21 8:23:13

 
The Wolf Vote score: 10785The Wolf

Meet Doris, the mouthwash gurgling world champion.

09/02/21 8:33:35

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 14630Stephen Bean

Snora Batty

09/02/21 8:00:49

 
Al Overy Vote score: 3720Al Overy

It's been a hard day's knit.

09/02/21 8:00:08

 
stone face Vote score: 8729stone face

"So how did your Nan die?"

"She choked to death on a conker."

09/02/21 8:49:56

 
James Lennox Vote score: 7588James Lennox

Nerve gas, funnier than superglue.

09/02/21 8:17:26

 
James Lennox Vote score: 7588James Lennox

We feared the Chinese would wipe us out with nuclear war, or a mutant virus, but in the end all it took was a modified finger trap.

09/02/21 8:11:57

 1
They've raised the terror sweat shop level to "severe" fashion statement --Glyn Evans
Stephen Bean Vote score: 14630Stephen Bean

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly...

09/02/21 8:11:35

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14259Vanessa the Guesser

Mavis was enjoying retirement after a long career sword swallowing.

09/02/21 8:03:21

 
The Wolf Vote score: 10785The Wolf

Edith Jones. Born 1924, died 1988 after choking on a gobstopper.

09/02/21 8:38:20

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10304Chris Keegan

WARNING: Never let your mother fall asleep on a bench next to a golf course.

09/02/21 8:21:35

 1
"Pass me the pitching wedge, I'll bet you a tenner, on a chip shot. Watch me pop it in from here." --Mauris Iocus
Tony S Vote score: 681Tony S

Old age benchioner

09/02/21 8:19:05

 
Al Overy Vote score: 3720Al Overy

Doris Daysleeper

09/02/21 8:01:27

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4455Crunchy Chords

Necroleptic

09/02/21 15:42:39

 
Molly R Vote score: 2503Molly R

Maggie was in ecstacy - she had discovered a totally new method of masturbation.

09/02/21 9:39:00

 
Endeavour 2 Persevere Vote score: 110Endeavour 2 Persevere

Waiting for God...oh!

09/02/21 9:28:07

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14259Vanessa the Guesser

Enid was reliving the days when she was more into S&M than M&S.

09/02/21 8:31:57

 
Tony S Vote score: 681Tony S

Mavis wake up you're dreaming about Ron Jeremy again

09/02/21 8:15:53

 2
The Hedgehog could have appeared in several captions this week. --Mauris Iocus
stone face Vote score: 8729stone face

Pigeon to his mate... " This is to easy."

09/02/21 8:11:19

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24010Ian Skelding

Poor old Tom couldn't bring himself to bury her.

09/02/21 8:03:20

 
The Wolf Vote score: 10785The Wolf

*yawn*. "Sod it, five more minutes. Nobody's going to think of that caption"

09/02/21 8:01:16

 
Al Overy Vote score: 3720Al Overy

Nan's legendary Christmas cake was 90% proof.

09/02/21 8:00:33

 
The Wolf Vote score: 10785The Wolf

....SPLAT...."Gulp"

Pigeons. They never miss a target.

09/02/21 8:00:11

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 427Gavin Smithers

"And, in Stevenage, this is the reaction to Lewis Hamilton's latest world championship."

10/02/21 21:27:21

 
Leeds Baggie Vote score: 30Leeds Baggie

After a longer than usual liquid lunch. Betty decided to sleep it off in the park, then go back to the Prince of Wales, to collect her gloves and scarf

09/02/21 18:55:24

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6850C CaMel

She's about to drop off

09/02/21 18:06:50

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6457Greg Curtis

"After years of feeding the birds, it was Kate's turn..."

09/02/21 13:07:17

 
Barrie Bullock Vote score: 678Barrie Bullock

French pornography is weird.

09/02/21 13:07:03

 1
German porn is weirder.... https://www.caption.me/578100Speaking of weird, "German porn is weird" was a caption on the skeleton girl photo, earlier today, now it's gone. Was someone offended? Complaints? Have Germa... --Mauris Iocus
John  Glover Vote score: 21297John Glover

Alice was so bored, that dodging bird shit was becoming the highlight of her day.

09/02/21 11:24:05

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11082Mr Dome

Due to the Covid rules limiting the number of people who can meet indoors, open air dentists were becoming all the rage

09/02/21 11:15:08

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21297John Glover

"That's crazy Alice, she's pulling some kind of a trick, she's always got something up her sleeve."

09/02/21 11:12:24

 1
John  Glover Vote score: 21297John Glover

Herman wanted to make sure of a seat for the afternoon procession. His mothers funeral arrangements would have to wait.

09/02/21 11:09:29

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 657Ellen Duncalf

We assured Gran that she wasn’t on the employment scrap heap at 76. She now works full time for the environmental agency as a fully certified fly catcher.

09/02/21 10:47:34

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2346Willie Johnson

This happens to me sometimes when I'm trying to decide whether to stay up for the 4 am... I mean 12 noon... picture.

09/02/21 10:44:41

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2346Willie Johnson

When you've been waiting nearly an hour and the bus pulls up, narcolepsy is the last condition you'd want to have.

09/02/21 10:27:17

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 990alexandra ball

We all know someone who has a wee nap in the afternoon no matter where they are.

09/02/21 9:29:45

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11495Neil Mackenzie

Ethel Higginbottom never knew her snoring alerted a schooner to the danger of running aground in a sea fog

09/02/21 9:16:35

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11495Neil Mackenzie

All this talk about pigeons, it was bloody blue birds over the white cliffs of Dover.

09/02/21 8:52:02

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7534Glyn Evans

Will Hilda Ogden escape from becoming a sacrifice for the rabid ducks at the local pond? Find out on the next episode of Coronation Street...

09/02/21 8:33:27

 1
Gripping --Mauris Iocus
Stephen Bean Vote score: 14630Stephen Bean

A Gran Doze Out

09/02/21 8:25:21

 
stone face Vote score: 8729stone face

Poor missus Jones, she was knackered carrying round a full colostomy bag.

09/02/21 8:09:38

 
Tony S Vote score: 681Tony S

On the bored-walk

09/02/21 8:06:54

 
Al Overy Vote score: 3720Al Overy

'Dave did xyzzzzzz...'

09/02/21 8:02:25

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 14630Stephen Bean

Sleeping Betty

09/02/21 8:00:09

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 3231Scrijjy Doo

"Yes. I'd like to report a dead prostitute."

09/02/21 12:41:47

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24010Ian Skelding

All that traditional Russian dancing had tired Vera out.

09/02/21 8:11:32

 
Tony S Vote score: 681Tony S

Yulia Skripal has another day trip to Salisbury

09/02/21 8:04:31

 
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