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Antarctic expedition diary. Day 1.Me and my fellow explorers were getting tired. The freezing conditions and sharp winds were starting to affect our strength and patience. After a 50 mile hike through the difficult terrain, we stopped to eat some energy gels from our survival packs. What happened next we could have never predicted. Derbyshire Police turned up and fined us £200 for having a f*cking picnic.
14/01/21 12:10:07
''I'm turning back, Bob. F-ck the Grand Old Duke Of York.''
14/01/21 12:28:40
Scottish police arrest 22 men for having a search party
14/01/21 12:14:37
"Again, gotta say, I really appreciate you guys helping me find where I dropped my keys.
14/01/21 12:25:52
Scottish team of mountaineers hope to conga Everest.
14/01/21 12:05:39
"Just out of curiosity, have any of you seen the movie Alive?"
14/01/21 12:10:09
"Earlier on today, apparently, a woman rang the BBC and said she heard there was snow on the way. Well, if you're watching, don't worry, there isn't!", said Michael Fish.
14/01/21 12:04:43
Winter 2022 and despite the search party's best efforts, still no sign of Trump's 'lost votes'.
14/01/21 13:16:12
Dave couldn't shake a strange feeling that he was being followed.
14/01/21 12:05:05
Charlie Sheen knows how to throw a party.
15/01/21 11:12:03
"We fucked up - this expedition was a mistake, pass it on"
14/01/21 20:12:39
''We've been trudging up this mountain for twelve solid hours. Why don't we Everest?''
14/01/21 14:07:31
''How much further is it to the Covid vaccination centre?''
14/01/21 12:14:14
"Tell Dave I'm positive he took a wrong turning 15 miles back, there's no Tesco's up here, pass it on"- "Tell Dave I'm positive he took a wrong turning 16 miles back, there's no Tesco's up here, pass it on"- "Tell Dave I'm positive he took a wrong turning 17 miles back, there's no Tesco's up here, pass it on"- "Tell Dave I'm.................
14/01/21 12:09:56
Trek and Trace
14/01/21 13:52:41
Spotted in the Welsh hills earlier today, more Vodafone customers in search of a signal.
14/01/21 12:53:27
"I knew I shouldn't have worn flip flops"
14/01/21 12:37:53
The winners of the 2021 line dancing competition were said to be on cloud 9
14/01/21 12:22:56
Madness reunion
14/01/21 12:21:39
The quest for the mythical last toilet roll had begun.
14/01/21 12:11:56
Canada ain't so bad.
14/01/21 14:06:32
I just seen Boris Johnson go past on his bike
14/01/21 14:01:09
Sheepa
14/01/21 12:30:49
Now on 5, the reality show with celebs hiking across Greenland, Star Trek
14/01/21 12:20:44
Dave managed to completely overshoot the parachute landing target
14/01/21 12:18:43
"I like to come here this time of day.""Why's that?""Because there's snow queue."
14/01/21 12:16:13
Start and end your exercise from home!!!!
14/01/21 12:13:29
The queue for the Post Off-ice
14/01/21 12:12:47
Line dancing on ice
14/01/21 12:10:16
Evolution of the non-mask wearer
14/01/21 12:09:41
Self ice-hole-ation
14/01/21 12:09:27
Things look weird under extreme magnification: This is a centipede.
14/01/21 12:06:57
"I don't care what you say Kevin, this is NOT the Milky Way".
14/01/21 12:05:30
''Why have you come on the climb, Bill?''''It gave me summit to do.''
14/01/21 12:04:40
The St Wenceslas Choir annual outing.
14/01/21 12:03:16
Nicola Sturgeon sends Celtic FC players and staff to Siberia for isolation.
14/01/21 12:01:44
"Follow me", you said
14/01/21 12:00:20
"Are you sure this is the way to Morrison's?"
14/01/21 12:00:11
"We're in Antarctica, where's this oil then?""Shush, have patience. We can't let the Americans know we're just as desperate for resources as they are. It's bloody typical though that the supertanker had to break down"
15/01/21 13:44:56
" .... but the report said Boris was last seen going south and we are going East?""I know ..I know."
15/01/21 2:00:10
♪Come on baby do the locomotion....♪
14/01/21 20:51:25
It must be a guy in front. They should have stopped to ask for directions.
14/01/21 20:44:49
"Does anyone have a pair of skis I could borrow?"
14/01/21 19:00:40
Follow me lads. We just need to get to the top of this mountain, then you can test your parachutes.
14/01/21 18:53:59
"Haven't you forgotten something?", asked the cross-country ski leader.
14/01/21 17:57:14
Far Trek Enterprise
14/01/21 17:36:23
It was wise to steer well clear of the large bunker on the short fourth.
14/01/21 16:32:37
Summer in Saskatchewan..."Buck up guys, if you squint a bit, they look like sand dunes."
14/01/21 14:25:40
♫ ♬ ♩ Heigh, Ho! Heigh, Ho! We hate the freakin' snow! ♫ ♬ ♩
14/01/21 14:08:45
Right if these dont take stag parties nobody will.
14/01/21 13:49:18
Spot the Polar Bear Competition
14/01/21 13:22:55
'Ergh, they make my skin crawl,' cringed Gulliver.
14/01/21 12:39:47
The intrepid searchers continue the relentless hunt for the real OJ killer & Hillary's emails.
14/01/21 12:31:33
"Ok, so it's gentle slope, beginner's level hill. But for these day pass rates, you think they'd put in a chairlift, or at least a rope tow."
14/01/21 12:28:48
New recruits hoping to earn their “Happy to Help” badges for possible employment in Asda continue their 6 months of gruelling training in the Brecon Beacons.
14/01/21 12:00:14