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If I were you, I wouldnt annoy my friend with that match. Hes got a short fuse.
If I were you, I wouldnt annoy my friend with that match. Hes got a short fuse. photo | portfolio
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Dave Bryan Vote score: 12537Dave Bryan

''If I were you, I wouldn't annoy my friend with that match. He's got a short fuse.''

02/01/21 20:15:20

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4945Stu Dent

Three Arsonists were caught last night one was arrested and two let off

02/01/21 20:29:04

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4372Crunchy Chords

It's all fun and games until someone starts lighting farts.

02/01/21 20:10:07

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13856Vanessa the Guesser

Burns Night

02/01/21 21:53:22

 
Anthony Smith Vote score: 102Anthony Smith

Forget vaccines! Let me stick this up your arse!

02/01/21 21:36:45

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33135Tony Edwards

Chariots of Fire

02/01/21 20:27:55

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 928alexandra ball

Match point.

02/01/21 20:06:48

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13856Vanessa the Guesser

Who doesn't like to go out with a bang?

02/01/21 20:02:20

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6753C CaMel

"Got my kids some of those for Christmas, I love seeing their little faces light up."

03/01/21 0:22:36

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21229John Glover

"Cor, strike a light."
"Noooooooooo!"

02/01/21 21:11:04

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33135Tony Edwards

Firework dismay

02/01/21 21:03:33

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33135Tony Edwards

Bangers and dash

02/01/21 20:16:55

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33135Tony Edwards

Bricking it

02/01/21 20:06:38

 
Al Overy Vote score: 2855Al Overy

"STOP... You can't fire us! We quit!!"

02/01/21 20:00:43

 2
They're going out in a blaze of glory. --Willie Johnson
Patel Jayesh Vote score: 11Patel Jayesh

Dave run!! it's a fire hazard

03/01/21 15:29:58

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13821Stephen Bean

"Ready, steady, Lego!"

02/01/21 23:31:17

 
The Wolf Vote score: 9945The Wolf

"Dave, aren't you a bit old to be playing with Lego?"

"Shut up Cath, I'm trying to defeat the King of Aldernon. And whilst you're up, can you check on Matthew? He's crying because I took his toys and sent him to bed at lunchtime"

02/01/21 20:44:43

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15542Dan Nicholls

Hold on to this and when I say, Lego!

02/01/21 20:01:18

 
Mauris Iocus Vote score: 38Mauris Iocus

Well, statistically, they say, one in three is flaming.

07/01/21 15:05:50

 
Tamsin Boldick Tamsin Boldick

The Rocket Boys finally met their match.

03/01/21 18:23:48

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 528Ellen Duncalf

The New Year slogan for the UK government’s is that they need a rocket up their butt. A lit one of course.

03/01/21 16:29:13

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6377Greg Curtis

Match Shtick

03/01/21 5:34:21

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6377Greg Curtis

"Let's look over here...WEIRD, captioneers..."

03/01/21 5:29:05

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13821Stephen Bean

The Wicker Men

02/01/21 23:38:31

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 19206Troompa Loompa

Phospho R Us

02/01/21 22:39:29

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 766Charles Gilbert

"Why won't you let me love you?"

02/01/21 22:36:23

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 19206Troompa Loompa

Match of the Play

02/01/21 22:04:52

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4915Lucky Elperro

French respond to Royal Navy warships.

02/01/21 22:00:33

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11358Neil Mackenzie

David Bowie and Elton John chickened out of becoming Major Tom and Rocket Man.

02/01/21 21:47:09

 
Anthony Smith Vote score: 102Anthony Smith

"Due to social distancing, the wick keeper shall follow on at a safe distance behind the two rockets. He shall maintain a distance of at leat 2 metres between himself and the blue touch paper and shall wash his hands as soon as he has applied his wick to both rockets."

02/01/21 21:33:37

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10836Mr Dome

Bricky Litty Bang Bang

02/01/21 21:30:50

 
Anthony Smith Vote score: 102Anthony Smith

We're on strike!

02/01/21 21:29:18

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7319Glyn Evans

"Why are you so afraid of my striking personality?"

02/01/21 20:32:36

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4945Stu Dent

The 100m flash

02/01/21 20:32:07

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23582Ian Skelding

Not the hot porn these pair of rockets were expecting.

02/01/21 20:31:01

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5311Karyn Harrison

Chris and Tom were last seen fleeing down Moss Lane with Dave in hot pursuit.

02/01/21 20:18:30

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23582Ian Skelding

How did Guy Fawkes come to fail again?

02/01/21 20:12:19

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4372Crunchy Chords

Match.comet

02/01/21 20:08:15

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15542Dan Nicholls

The Katie Perry minifigure has been a huge success.

02/01/21 20:05:10

 
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