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"Fancy a game of snooker tonight Dave?"  "Sorry Phil, I cant. The wife wants me to paint the ceiling."
"Fancy a game of snooker tonight Dave?"  "Sorry Phil, I cant. The wife wants me to paint the ceiling." photo | portfolio
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Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5098Karyn Harrison

"Fancy a game of snooker tonight Dave?"

"Sorry Phil, I can't. The wife wants me to paint the ceiling."

15/10/20 19:19:32

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5098Karyn Harrison

Tesco, High Barnet

15/10/20 19:12:44

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4133Crunchy Chords

"Do you sell hair gel?"
"Of course, how much do you need?"
"All of it."

15/10/20 19:00:09

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8873The Wolf

"Hello. Just to let you know that there's an exposed loose plug socket next to the freezers"

15/10/20 19:01:22

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1909Willie Johnson

How will I recognize you?

15/10/20 19:52:24

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6175C CaMel

His barber must've been high.

15/10/20 19:35:30

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6431James Lennox

"I'd like to return this vibrating butt-plug. I think it has an electrical fault."

15/10/20 19:00:20

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8873The Wolf

"Security to the tills. There's a bald guy attempting to steal one of our Victorian yard brooms"

15/10/20 19:00:18

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4702Lucky Elperro

If you have a comb-over, never work in a balloon factory.

15/10/20 21:13:34

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8873The Wolf

"This is the third week running that your scissors have been out of stock and it's bloody infuriating. Lockdown is over and I've got an interview tomorrow"

15/10/20 19:14:55

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12446Stephen Bean

Asdafarian

15/10/20 19:00:05

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6550Vivvy En

'Hmm, where toupée?'

15/10/20 20:24:49

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12446Stephen Bean

Powerful extractor fan makes supermarket safe from Covid-19.

15/10/20 19:04:54

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4563Stu Dent

This is a stick up

15/10/20 19:02:20

 
Dot Old Vote score: 1218Dot Old

Supermarket Chimney Sweep

15/10/20 19:01:03

 1
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23149Ian Skelding

"There's a breakage in aisle 3, could you go and sweep it up please?"

15/10/20 19:00:10

 
Molly R Vote score: 2190Molly R

"It costs HOW much??"

15/10/20 19:00:07

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8873The Wolf

Check out - the hair

15/10/20 19:00:07

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1701Al Overy

"Just saw that new horror film at the cinema."

"Were you scared?"

"Tsk, no!"

16/10/20 6:28:59

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 672Charles Gilbert

"Do you have an application form?"

16/10/20 4:30:35

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6216Greg Curtis

“...you ready to ‘paint the town’?”

15/10/20 23:26:57

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10314Mr Dome

Hairy Krishna

15/10/20 21:17:17

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21003John Glover

"I have a gun in my pocket, if you don't sit me in front of a barber now, I will use it."

15/10/20 20:36:13

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32703Tony Edwards

Dave always wanted to be in the Grenadier Guards.

15/10/20 19:59:32

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1909Willie Johnson

"Let's see, I put my wallet in a safe place where no one would ever find it.
Oh that's right, it's in my hair."

15/10/20 19:59:05

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6175C CaMel

"I need a Viagra reversal, can I get it over the counter?"

15/10/20 19:57:52

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32703Tony Edwards

The other Jedward brother.

15/10/20 19:48:00

 
Guideaux . Vote score: 2249Guideaux .

Geronimohawk!

15/10/20 19:47:52

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11824Dave Bryan

''I find supermarket shopping a hair-raising experience these days.''

15/10/20 19:42:02

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2802Scrijjy Doo

"Can you direct me to the comb aisle?"

15/10/20 19:40:44

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1758Karen Oakenfull

It had been a long hard day for Pete and he was absolutely lacquered.

15/10/20 19:29:51

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9566Chris Keegan

It's quite sad, Simon never grew out from the height restrictions at Alton Towers.

15/10/20 19:24:43

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7008Glyn Evans

Till, Death Metal Do Us Part

15/10/20 19:17:58

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7149Hercules Rockefeller

Blitzkrieg Shop

15/10/20 19:07:12

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13376Vanessa the Guesser

"Are you in a punk group? Only last week Paul Weller was in here looking for The Jam."

15/10/20 19:06:37

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12446Stephen Bean

Of Aldi places to get an erection.

15/10/20 19:06:29

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 266Ellen Duncalf

”Excuse me, but am afraid we don’t allow punks in the store.

”That’s a rather sweeping statement to make madam.”

15/10/20 19:06:01

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 749alexandra ball

Bad hair day!

15/10/20 19:05:14

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11104Neil Mackenzie

He’s a bit stuck up.

15/10/20 19:02:48

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 266Ellen Duncalf


Sidney always likes to look smart when he visits Tesco. Today he is sporting a cobalt blue Ralph Lauren shirt and a freshly pressed mohican.

15/10/20 19:01:44

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9566Chris Keegan

"Excuse me, I so wanted to say what a marvellous hair style but I knew you wouldn't have been flat head"

15/10/20 19:01:19

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13376Vanessa the Guesser

Stiff Lidl Fingers

15/10/20 19:00:42

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12446Stephen Bean

Going to the supermarket has become quite a hair raising experience lately.

15/10/20 19:00:29

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 266Ellen Duncalf

The vast of the Mohicans.

15/10/20 19:00:15

 
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