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Fly in the face of death
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Dave Bryan Vote score: 11824Dave Bryan

Fly in the face of death

09/10/20 7:05:44

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8886The Wolf

"Listen, if you don't leave me alone then I'm going to tell the spider that you called him a fanny"

09/10/20 7:26:16

 2
I really don't know why this is tickling me so much, but it is. Thank you :) --Vivvy En
Chris Halliwell Vote score: 5234Chris Halliwell

Ex-Terminator.

09/10/20 7:26:49

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12485Stephen Bean

Jason and the Argo-gnats

09/10/20 7:00:15

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8886The Wolf

Not what I expected when I opened my Kinder Egg...

09/10/20 7:12:16

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12485Stephen Bean

"Ok, you know the mission, land discretely on Mike Pence and rub the Covid-19 on your feet into his left eye. You did really well giving it to Trump last week."

"Remember, don't hang around afterwards and make sure nobody sees you."

09/10/20 7:04:59

 2
Another hate filled Democrat, spread the love. --Neil Mackenzie
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1768Karen Oakenfull

“Don’t take this the wrong way mate, but I used to have curtains the same colour as you.”

09/10/20 16:44:42

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21011John Glover

"What do you mean, here's a quid for letting you eat here. We don't allow fly tipping."

09/10/20 11:52:47

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12485Stephen Bean

"I know it's none of my buzziness, but you ought to eat something mate."

09/10/20 7:21:25

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7155Hercules Rockefeller

Bug of Bones

09/10/20 7:05:33

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1916Willie Johnson

That embarrassing moment when you realize your fly is down and they can see your bone.

09/10/20 14:44:18

 
Sheila  Graham Vote score: 317Sheila Graham

"Buzz off Fly!"
"Who's gonna make me? You haven't got the guts."

09/10/20 9:17:36

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6447James Lennox

"You're feeling sleepy, very sleepy, and ... sleep. When you wake up you will no longer crave shit. Shit will not appeal to you at all. In fact, you will be disgusted by shit and wonder why you ever used to eat it at all. And ... wake."

09/10/20 8:42:27

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9599Chris Keegan

Death deflying

09/10/20 8:01:02

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8886The Wolf

Victoria Beckham puts on weight and starts hunting giant flies as a new hobby.

09/10/20 7:30:16

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11824Dave Bryan

''Don't blame me. It's not my fault you're dead. You were the idiot who banged his head against the reinforced glass window.''

09/10/20 7:15:45

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9599Chris Keegan

Fly Killer

09/10/20 7:09:04

 
Eugene  Quill Vote score: 98Eugene Quill

If you believe you have recently been in contact with a giant mutant insect, please leave your details after the tone. We will respond as soon as possible but due to the Coronavirus we are currently working with a skeleton staff.

10/10/20 17:42:23

 
Eugene  Quill Vote score: 98Eugene Quill

"Bet you wish you'd never set foot in Brobdignag, eh Mr Lemuel Gulliver?"

09/10/20 21:57:45

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21011John Glover

" Hey, Mac fly, I don't suppose you saw who nicked my piano?"

09/10/20 20:02:05

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1720Al Overy

"Oh yeah? And how is the reanimated corpse of Tommy Cooper going to scare me off?"

"Just like that."

09/10/20 19:22:32

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1916Willie Johnson

Can you give me directions? There's not nearly enough to eat here in Lilliput and I have to leave.
Maybe tell me where America is? I hear there's a lot of crap going on over there.

09/10/20 14:38:23

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1916Willie Johnson

"Don't say a word. Someone whose poop I ate had been eating Skittles."

09/10/20 14:28:56

 1
James Lennox Vote score: 6447James Lennox

"Don't be afraid, I'm not the guy on the insecticide labels."

09/10/20 8:34:52

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6203C CaMel

His piano teacher died trying.

09/10/20 8:33:33

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 270Ellen Duncalf

”The free toys with this years Happy Meals have had a positively sinister look to them which pretty much sums up this whole year” said one mum outside a local primary school.

09/10/20 8:31:31

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6203C CaMel

"Just a postcard from Jerry and Mary here love, where the f*** have they gone?"

09/10/20 8:24:20

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23166Ian Skelding

"You used to be Robert Maxwell? Thank goodness for that, for a minute there I thought I wasn't attracted to shit."

09/10/20 8:21:32

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 270Ellen Duncalf

Fly with Pride meets Weight Watchers Extreme at this years unconventional business awards.

09/10/20 8:14:24

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6567Vivvy En

"Okay, Death. I accept it's time to do the dying fly."
"Not like that! Just like this."

09/10/20 8:00:02

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4565Stu Dent

Microbone

09/10/20 7:55:46

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10326Mr Dome

And Just like that, heh heh he was gone

09/10/20 7:44:52

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11112Neil Mackenzie

There is no meat left on the Maggot Carte.

09/10/20 7:39:25

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6567Vivvy En

"Cadaver lift?"

09/10/20 7:22:35

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11824Dave Bryan

''You're all going to die.''

09/10/20 7:20:47

 1
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7013Glyn Evans

"Ha ha too late, my flesh's all decomposed."

09/10/20 7:15:00

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13397Vanessa the Guesser

"Wrong film. Is that a Technicolour Dreamcoat?"

09/10/20 7:07:47

 
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