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Girth, Wind and Fire
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Stephen Bean Vote score: 11776Stephen Bean

Girth, Wind and Fire

01/09/20 20:00:11

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9298Chris Keegan

While discussing lockdown during a late night in the garden, Steve and Simon were concerned their return to ballet school could be tricky.

01/09/20 21:58:05

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 3916Crunchy Chords

"Well Bobby-Joe, it's about time tah hit the hay an' git some shut-eye."
"I reckon I'll just stay out here all night, Billy-Roy."
"... Yer shoes done melted an' stuck to that there fire pit, ain't they?"
"... Yep."

01/09/20 20:00:23

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2666Scrijjy Doo

The good news: There is beer in hell.
The bad news: It's Pabst Blue Ribbon.

01/09/20 20:50:03

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1353Al Overy

Flame grilling is supposed to get rid of unwanted fat, so I moved Billy's chair a bit closer.

01/09/20 20:27:06

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 22906Ian Skelding

Blazy bastards

01/09/20 20:05:01

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1708Karen Oakenfull

“Hank we’ve been sat here like this for over 17 hours.”
“I know. I reckon we should’ve just fed her to the pigs.”

01/09/20 20:38:08

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1805Willie Johnson

"We're sweating like pigs aren't we?"
"Yup, 'cause of all the beer."
"Beer has alcohol in it, right? And alcohol is flammable, right?"
"What are you saying?"
"RUNNNN!!!!"
"Run? Us? Hahahahaha... hahahahaha"

01/09/20 23:26:42

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6128James Lennox

Why does Bill Rockwell insist on using that fisheye lens? It blows everything out of proportion.

01/09/20 20:15:17

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10998Neil Mackenzie

I’m not going to the NFL anymore.
I agree. I’m not going since the pussies started kneeling for the anthem.
No it’s not that. I don’t fit through the turnstiles any more.

02/09/20 16:01:24

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9298Chris Keegan

They eventually did get round to flaming Nora

01/09/20 21:43:52

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10162Mr Dome

- Funny what you see when you stare into the flames, isn't it Chuck. Your dreams, fantasies and past memories.
- Sure is Brad. Am sure I just saw my dick in there which I haven't seen for years

01/09/20 21:36:19

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 3916Crunchy Chords

"I reckon I cain't vote fer Trump agin. How 'bout you?"
"Aw, hell no, he's been so dumb on that there Covid. I mean, he's s'posed to be the dang President, but he don't even know the difference between a R-nought and a R-effective."

01/09/20 21:32:02

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11353Dave Bryan

Canned Heat

01/09/20 21:00:03

 
Rachel P Vote score: 2304Rachel P

Like a sloth to the flame

01/09/20 20:33:51

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6882Glyn Evans

"These academic types think they know it all, they don't seem to realise that even if you have degrees you can be stupid"
"How's that?"
"Well, I can get plenty of degrees if I put my leg in the fire"

01/09/20 20:19:30

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4483Stu Dent

Auditions are now taking place for the new series of, Tales of the unexpected.

01/09/20 20:17:39

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13073Vanessa the Guesser

♪ Chest and nuts roasting on an open fire

01/09/20 20:01:03

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4651Lucky Elperro

Brokenback mountain.

02/09/20 15:05:11

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1353Al Overy

"Tammy Sue is in awe of me, man."

"What makes you say that?"

"When I asked her out, she said no coz I am way too phat!"

02/09/20 7:36:22

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10162Mr Dome

I think we overdid it with the fake tan somewhat, Dave

02/09/20 6:57:15

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1805Willie Johnson

"Did you remember to bring the keg of beer?"
"It's right here inside my belly."
(*looks to his left*) "You didn't swallow the keg too did you?"

01/09/20 23:35:24

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Willie Johnson Vote score: 1805Willie Johnson

"I've got six pack abs. But they're covered by several inches of fat."
"Well, hell then. I've got a twelve pack."

01/09/20 23:30:57

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10162Mr Dome

Flame retardsant

01/09/20 22:51:46

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32501Tony Edwards

Brewmance

01/09/20 20:57:35

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2666Scrijjy Doo

"Burgers. I thought you brought the burgers."

01/09/20 20:48:28

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2666Scrijjy Doo

Potbelly Stove

01/09/20 20:45:30

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32501Tony Edwards

Chewing the fat

01/09/20 20:35:37

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 11776Stephen Bean

Bill and Ben the fire pit men

01/09/20 20:29:42

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 608Charles Gilbert

'Merica. F*#k Yeah.

01/09/20 20:26:38

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 22906Ian Skelding

"Need a helluva lot more fire than that for our bellies."

01/09/20 20:22:06

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 683alexandra ball

Not sure if this is how to burn calories.

01/09/20 20:15:37

 
  Smuldo Vote score: 11711 Smuldo

"Why the hell did We burn the banjo?..."

01/09/20 20:13:40

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20856John Glover

"Do you think Jake will ever find that bastard of a vicious dog of his?"
"Nah... we've just eaten it."
"Oh."

01/09/20 20:13:23

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 19119Troompa Loompa

"No Geoff, I said you needed to get a brassiere not a brazier."

01/09/20 20:05:11

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32501Tony Edwards

TweedleDumb and TweedleDumber

01/09/20 20:02:32

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1353Al Overy

Brew and a hearth men

01/09/20 20:00:26

 
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