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I always use PPE because Im a key worker.
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Dave Bryan Vote score: 9776Dave Bryan

''I always use PPE because I'm a key worker.''

19/06/20 8:13:49

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10696Neil Mackenzie

When you have to type up the Tory manifesto the smell of bullshit can be overpowering.

19/06/20 11:02:14

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8926Chris Keegan

Dear Boss,
It is with great regret that I need to inform you of my resignation. Please don't take this personally, I just feel working on a sewage farm isn't for me.

19/06/20 8:25:57

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 22239Ian Skelding

"How's your autobiography coming along Mr Lecter?"

19/06/20 9:29:00

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4016Stu Dent

Deep Sea Scriber

19/06/20 8:10:17

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14954Dan Nicholls

Dad, give it up, your hair isn't coming back.

19/06/20 8:55:31

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 31837Tony Edwards

🎵 Mind Control to Major Tom 🎵

19/06/20 9:42:24

 
Mark England Vote score: 16944Mark England

"..so the result of the experiment is that Dave, indeed, has the memory of a goldfish"

19/06/20 9:20:02

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 12079Vanessa the Guesser

Renowned Captioneer Mr Millennium Dome

19/06/20 8:11:50

 1
It's making me feel lightheaded --Mr Dome
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14954Dan Nicholls

Dave's going to the fancy dress party as a good idea! 💡

19/06/20 9:03:06

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 10198Stephen Bean

1920: You look like a weirdo Dave, you're scaring everyone in the office. You're sacked.

2020: That's so thoughtful Dave to put everyone at ease. We'd like to make you employee of the month.

19/06/20 8:01:04

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2282Scrijjy Doo

"I can still smell you, Clarice."

19/06/20 14:21:16

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10696Neil Mackenzie

Paddy had expected water in the typing pool.

19/06/20 11:34:14

 
Dev B Vote score: 645Dev B

"What you looking at sir?? You can get away writing anything, but for me, if the caption does not get a min 5 votes, my boss fills this room with his farts and stinky bombs. Remember, whatever you do, do not work for someone like Dave"

19/06/20 9:36:05

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9776Dave Bryan

''Would you like a coffee?''

19/06/20 8:27:45

 
Stephen Graham Vote score: 1042Stephen Graham

Typo Ahssole

19/06/20 8:09:57

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 6726Hercules Rockefeller

The world's first cell phone didn't receive great reception.

19/06/20 8:08:52

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8926Chris Keegan

I promise you, one day we shall look back at these times and absolutely piss ourselves.

19/06/20 8:02:03

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 10198Stephen Bean

1920 "Dave, I only farted once."

2020 "Dave, I only coughed once."

19/06/20 8:01:30

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4733Kenny Ireland

Alvin was ready to hit the space bar.

20/06/20 7:56:35

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1504Willie Johnson

How will I recognize you?

19/06/20 15:47:56

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6603Glyn Evans

Tap Gun

19/06/20 11:56:13

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10696Neil Mackenzie

Studying Dave they found his brain activity peaked at 8am and 12 noon, the rest of the time is brain seemed to be asleep even though he was awake at work.

19/06/20 11:06:56

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1475Karen Oakenfull

Richard’s secretary always turned him on.

19/06/20 10:28:21

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9676Mr Dome

- I am into auto-erotic asphyxiation, BDSM and cosplay
- hmm I've seen your type before

19/06/20 10:05:44

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1504Willie Johnson

Just because.

19/06/20 9:33:51

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 10198Stephen Bean

Grandad Dave had a qwerty personality.

19/06/20 8:05:59

 
Graham Holt Graham Holt

Is this what Boris means by stay in your bubble 🗯.

04/07/20 12:45:06

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 409Gavin Smithers

It's so much more convenient to get your gas and electricity from the same supplier.

20/06/20 22:49:55

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20583John Glover

"Don't know why, but Phil has been wearing it ever since he did a stint in Area 51."

19/06/20 13:33:10

 
stone face Vote score: 7638stone face

"Oh come on guys! It's only a cold sore."

19/06/20 11:14:08

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 31837Tony Edwards

Electric shock experiments failed to reduce the number of typos.

19/06/20 10:02:07

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 1284Mark Wilson

Dave from accounts wasn't taking any chances as the rumour in the office was Julie's kids had head lice

19/06/20 9:26:48

 
Dev B Vote score: 645Dev B

The Enigma machine was far more complicated to operate than previously thought

19/06/20 9:06:11

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14954Dan Nicholls

Captain, the genetically modified goldfish have escaped and are taking over.

19/06/20 8:58:36

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14954Dan Nicholls

The curiously named Head of unusual diseases, Dr Helmut Rasch.

19/06/20 8:56:30

 
Dot Old Vote score: 1011Dot Old

The Corona Typewriter Company's promotional photo for safe typewriting was way ahead of its time.

19/06/20 8:50:57

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9776Dave Bryan

Typing fool

19/06/20 8:04:28

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 12079Vanessa the Guesser

Shorthand typists are notoriously bad at wiping.

19/06/20 8:02:33

 
Molly R Vote score: 1779Molly R

And now, over to our Covid-19 reporter, from home.

19/06/20 8:02:07

 
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