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Keep out of arms way!
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Tony Edwards Vote score: 33147Tony Edwards

Keep out of arms way!

26/06/20 19:22:18

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13833Stephen Bean

"I was trying to work out what the sign meant when it hit me."

26/06/20 19:06:10

 4
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7327Glyn Evans

"This is a very odd location they've chosen for me to receive my Darwin award..."

26/06/20 19:23:30

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 3027Scrijjy Doo

If someone serviced my valve I'd drop everything too.

26/06/20 19:20:06

 1
Contact number please. --Flo .
Al Overy Vote score: 2875Al Overy

Health and safety were certainly sucking the fun out of the annual cheese rolling contest.

28/06/20 11:55:27

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 2208Mark Wilson

My wife has the same crush hazard sticker on her arse just incase she rolls over in bed at night

26/06/20 19:17:22

 1
If that happened it would be a real bummer. --Flo .
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33147Tony Edwards

Armed and dangerous

26/06/20 19:04:25

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11361Neil Mackenzie

Why does it cost £400 for the service?
Well to get to the service valve, we have to remove the bucket, the lifting arms and all the hydraulic connections. Then after a quick twiddle we have to refit the hydraulic hoses, the lifting arms and finally the bucket.
Why can’t they put the service valve in a more accessible place?
No they couldn’t do that or your service would cost only £20.

26/06/20 19:10:53

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4947Stu Dent

So basically don't lift your arms

26/06/20 19:00:15

 
Fozzgog B. Vote score: 431Fozzgog B.

Crush Hazard Jones really wished his parents had picked a more romantic spot for his conception

26/06/20 21:34:02

 1
You know what they say sonny.....A standing Cock has No Conscience. --Flo .
Vivvy En Vote score: 6984Vivvy En

...and no-one likes being trapped in a sweaty armpit

26/06/20 19:29:12

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10167Chris Keegan

And if that doesn't finish you off the bent arrows will.

26/06/20 19:03:38

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5209Kenny Ireland

"Only contracting company workers allowed".

27/06/20 11:36:50

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2132Willie Johnson

Dang 'er
Crush Hazard
Servicing valve

*My eyesight's not that good. What else does it say? Is it not about a cheating woman?

27/06/20 7:59:33

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5209Kenny Ireland

The gaffer said "Just use a Pole".

26/06/20 22:13:15

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 932alexandra ball

Arms will not only fail to lift because of a crush, the real hazard will be because of falling in love

26/06/20 22:05:02

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7411Hercules Rockefeller

The Bucket Lift

26/06/20 20:35:21

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2132Willie Johnson

Prostitutes with lift arms were dismayed to find out they could no longer service "valves".

26/06/20 20:33:21

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23597Ian Skelding

Revenge of the Swansea City ball boy.

26/06/20 19:30:03

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13861Vanessa the Guesser

Then there's no way to raise the alarm.

26/06/20 19:29:51

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21229John Glover

Mr Grandad had a faulty valve, his heart stopped and his arms dropped when he was on top of an extended ladder, and was crushed when he fell off into the road and run over by the bin lorry.

26/06/20 19:18:38

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13833Stephen Bean

Sometimes it pays to be arrow minded.

26/06/20 19:16:28

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 19207Troompa Loompa

Unarmed, Banned it

26/06/20 19:13:32

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11361Neil Mackenzie

Don’t worry I’ll get Jack to do it.

26/06/20 19:12:35

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10844Mr Dome

Always feed your book with a bone

26/06/20 19:07:39

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10844Mr Dome

Beware low flying monoblocs

26/06/20 19:07:17

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10844Mr Dome

I dislike Eden too

26/06/20 19:06:26

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7411Hercules Rockefeller

Under Destruction

26/06/20 19:06:18

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23597Ian Skelding

"Drop dead."

26/06/20 19:06:10

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4373Crunchy Chords

"This insults my intelligence."
"Well, it's affront-end loader."

26/06/20 19:00:44

 1
I love front loaders...just unclip the middle & out drop the tits....lovely jubbly. --Flo .
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4373Crunchy Chords

A sign of the tonnes

26/06/20 19:00:18

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4373Crunchy Chords

JCBe Careful.

26/06/20 19:00:07

 
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