lol x2

Allow 12 hours to fully charge.

20/04/20 11:03:20

Monty Python and the Holy Snail

20/04/20 11:00:47

''Take that you French bastard. You ate my kids.''

20/04/20 12:28:55

The war over the roses

20/04/20 11:00:36

"You can't hurt me. I'm protected by my snail mail."

20/04/20 11:00:27

If you can't kill them then just throw them over the fence.

20/04/20 11:55:32

"N00000000000000ooooooooooooooooo (inhale)0000000000000000oooooooo!"

20/04/20 17:28:48

The Canterbury Trails

20/04/20 11:31:34

The start of the hundred years war

20/04/20 11:01:06

Slugging it out.

20/04/20 11:00:11

Assnailant.

20/04/20 11:09:11

"Escargot away!"

20/04/20 11:07:52

Soldiers who survived this battle were often shell-shocked.

20/04/20 11:00:07

It's no good captain, there's millions of them.

20/04/20 11:48:45

“Omg what the hell happened to you?”
“I don’t know, it all happened so slow.”

20/04/20 19:30:00

A medieval Borrower defends his lettuce patch.

20/04/20 11:04:08

Gastroprod

20/04/20 11:01:32

"How dare you try to a salt me!"

20/04/20 11:00:07

20/04/20 17:15:39

He was hoping once he ditched his armour that he would be quicker, but if anything, it made him a little sluggish.

20/04/20 11:19:02

Your gonna need a bigger boot.

20/04/20 12:53:04

"They said that the Sheriff of Nottingham was a bit slippery but this is ridiculous."

20/04/20 12:32:21

It took another 500 years before the giant snail finally became extinct but the writing was already on the wall.

20/04/20 11:17:26

“Long, slow probing.”

21/04/20 1:08:24

Never fight with your dick hanging out

20/04/20 11:53:27

"No, this broccoli is mine. Take the lettuce and be off with you!"

20/04/20 11:31:18

The Lilliputians were f*cked until Gulliver came along and stamped them all out.

20/04/20 11:18:23

"Next on BBC 1 is the animated tale of King Barnabas and his heroic battle in Medieval Scotland against Shelly McSnail face, the giant snail beast"

*There will come a point when Eastenders runs out of pre-recorded episodes*

20/04/20 11:14:53

Dave had a bad habit of fighting his snails.

20/04/20 11:00:20

The attack happened so fast that the Roundheads had no time to react

20/04/20 21:59:28

"Time out: I got you something for your birthday. It's salt pork."
"Foam me? Why thank you!"

20/04/20 19:45:32

Issue 1 of Slugman Comics is highly valuable.

20/04/20 18:48:58

This scene is from the battle for Florence. (Boing....)

20/04/20 13:01:00

"Did someone order snails to goo?"

20/04/20 12:28:42

"GET.OUT.OF.HERE...This is a snail's space"

20/04/20 12:03:30

Garden SOS

20/04/20 12:02:21

A french man telling the story:- He was huge, and fast, I had to battle with him for hours before I slayed him. Then I took my axe to cut some herbs and I cooked him with 50 grams of butter.
English man:- You said he was huge? How come only 50 grams of butter?
Ahhhh, he shrivelled up in the pan.

20/04/20 11:38:43

Man v Food

20/04/20 11:34:50

More Hastings, less speed.

20/04/20 11:31:02

The Bayeux Tapestree

20/04/20 11:21:34

Lettuce be friends!

20/04/20 11:20:03

That'll teach him to try to pinch the Fyffe of Brian.

20/04/20 11:12:59

The Battle of Agincourt

20/04/20 11:00:35

The Strife of Brian

20/04/20 11:00:16

Dave loved going clubbing, and he could never hide his excitement when it came to the slow dance at the end of the Knight.

20/04/20 11:00:14