lol clever

"Right, that's curry sauce, mango chutney, basmati rice, onion bhaji, poppadoms and a Nan."

15/03/20 12:57:09

Cart Blanche

15/03/20 12:02:06

*Ding Dong*... "Puddle of piss in aisle three..."

15/03/20 17:11:00

"Looks like they're out of loo rolls Mum, but never mind, if the worst comes to the worst we can use my collection of 'Men in Belted Sweaters' magazines."

15/03/20 16:46:49

Successfully smuggling cucumbers since 1953.

15/03/20 16:06:31

"Excuse me madam, I know everyone is panicking at the moment but the old lady is not for sale. Put her back please"

15/03/20 12:02:29

"She's suffering from C aisle dementia."

15/03/20 12:12:55

Always take an old bag shopping.

15/03/20 12:00:41

These personal shoppers really take the job seriously

15/03/20 19:59:38

Not my fault love you bought me the fitbit and it's telling me I've done my walking for one day

15/03/20 19:35:48

Okay, so that's the frozen peas, frozen carrots, frozen, frozen cauliflower florets and frozen chips. Are your haemorrhoids feeling better or do you want to go for the frozen turkeys?

15/03/20 18:01:24

"And remember dear, When you go the fruit aisle don't forget to get me a nana."

15/03/20 13:13:53

Pushing Miss Daisy

15/03/20 12:57:50

“You can get out and walk now mum, but one more tantrum and your straight back in there.”

15/03/20 12:08:08

"I was in Asda today and I went to the toilets and found this old lady 'mid wipe'. Well, it was the only piece of bog roll left in the entire place so I thought, f*ck it, I'll take it"

15/03/20 12:01:58

Wayne Rooney's housekeeper spotted in Asda.

15/03/20 17:57:19

"Stuff a few of the dearer things up my dress, when we get to the checkout tell them you're pushing me in the trolley because I suddenly became unwell and I'm pregnant."

15/03/20 13:22:52

The only things that this Supermarket had ran out of was 'Caution, slippery surface' signs."

15/03/20 13:02:45

"You've got me all this Coke and stuff and they've run out of Tena Lady?"

15/03/20 12:56:58

Gran Theft Auto

15/03/20 12:49:19

"Ooh my pen ran out. I need SOAP not OAP."

15/03/20 12:34:43

"We'll save the money you put aside for Dignitas Mum, if you just stay here and meet a few people. Don't forget to shake their hands."

15/03/20 12:06:48

"My daughter's really aged since she caught the coronanvirus."

15/03/20 12:01:19

The trap is set. Now to wait for the paedophile's approach...

15/03/20 12:00:15

Hey that meat's supposed to be fresh. She looks too tough and past the sell-by date.

17/03/20 8:18:43

Aisle of Silly.

15/03/20 19:35:43

Mom and Pops

15/03/20 19:30:00

“Leaving Mum at home would have been a missed steak for her”

15/03/20 16:43:40

Stock piles?

15/03/20 16:35:24

Prankster Granny

15/03/20 16:23:28

"How much for a Gram?"

15/03/20 16:05:36

Supermarket Sleep

15/03/20 15:50:48

She's a little tough, but should be suitable for making soup stock.

15/03/20 15:45:53

"Why do I always end up with the wobbly ones?"

15/03/20 14:43:39

Dolly's trolley

15/03/20 14:24:38

Coronavirus Breaking News: As hospitals run out of beds, patients are bringing their own trolleys to A & E.

15/03/20 14:03:49

"That's it. I've had enough of you playing up. When we get home you're going straight to your cot"

15/03/20 13:24:33

Coca-Cola ✓
7 Up ✓
Tango ✓
Now, where's the Wind Eze?

15/03/20 13:17:49

Reduced price. Slightly irregular.

15/03/20 13:08:32

On sale. Past expiration date.

15/03/20 13:07:56

“The kids always treat me like a baby, yesterday I woke up in a cot!”

15/03/20 13:06:00

No Mum you can’t have a chocolate bar. You won’t eat your Dinner.

15/03/20 12:50:22

Just look at this wizened old pear

15/03/20 12:41:20

Bedpanic buying

15/03/20 12:40:26

Gericartric

15/03/20 12:37:01

Unexpected item in the bagging area.

15/03/20 12:25:20

“I would wrap you up in cotton wool if I could mum, but there’s none left on the shelves.”

15/03/20 12:06:52

Nanic buying

15/03/20 12:00:54

She remembered looking down at two little rose buds but now they were full bloom, the next stage would be to wilt and drop off.

15/03/20 12:00:10

"You'd get trollyed too, if you got told to self-isolate for 3 months."

15/03/20 12:00:06