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"Right, that's curry sauce, mango chutney, basmati rice, onion bhaji, poppadoms and a Nan."
15/03/20 12:57:09
Cart Blanche
15/03/20 12:02:06
*Ding Dong*... "Puddle of piss in aisle three..."
15/03/20 17:11:00
"Looks like they're out of loo rolls Mum, but never mind, if the worst comes to the worst we can use my collection of 'Men in Belted Sweaters' magazines."
15/03/20 16:46:49
Successfully smuggling cucumbers since 1953.
15/03/20 16:06:31
"Excuse me madam, I know everyone is panicking at the moment but the old lady is not for sale. Put her back please"
15/03/20 12:02:29
"She's suffering from C aisle dementia."
15/03/20 12:12:55
Always take an old bag shopping.
15/03/20 12:00:41
These personal shoppers really take the job seriously
15/03/20 19:59:38
Not my fault love you bought me the fitbit and it's telling me I've done my walking for one day
15/03/20 19:35:48
Okay, so that's the frozen peas, frozen carrots, frozen, frozen cauliflower florets and frozen chips. Are your haemorrhoids feeling better or do you want to go for the frozen turkeys?
15/03/20 18:01:24
"And remember dear, When you go the fruit aisle don't forget to get me a nana."
15/03/20 13:13:53
Pushing Miss Daisy
15/03/20 12:57:50
“You can get out and walk now mum, but one more tantrum and your straight back in there.”
15/03/20 12:08:08
"I was in Asda today and I went to the toilets and found this old lady 'mid wipe'. Well, it was the only piece of bog roll left in the entire place so I thought, f*ck it, I'll take it"
15/03/20 12:01:58
Wayne Rooney's housekeeper spotted in Asda.
15/03/20 17:57:19
"Stuff a few of the dearer things up my dress, when we get to the checkout tell them you're pushing me in the trolley because I suddenly became unwell and I'm pregnant."
15/03/20 13:22:52
The only things that this Supermarket had ran out of was 'Caution, slippery surface' signs."
15/03/20 13:02:45
"You've got me all this Coke and stuff and they've run out of Tena Lady?"
15/03/20 12:56:58
Gran Theft Auto
15/03/20 12:49:19
"Ooh my pen ran out. I need SOAP not OAP."
15/03/20 12:34:43
"We'll save the money you put aside for Dignitas Mum, if you just stay here and meet a few people. Don't forget to shake their hands."
15/03/20 12:06:48
"My daughter's really aged since she caught the coronanvirus."
15/03/20 12:01:19
The trap is set. Now to wait for the paedophile's approach...
15/03/20 12:00:15
Hey that meat's supposed to be fresh. She looks too tough and past the sell-by date.
17/03/20 8:18:43
Aisle of Silly.
15/03/20 19:35:43
Mom and Pops
15/03/20 19:30:00
“Leaving Mum at home would have been a missed steak for her”
15/03/20 16:43:40
Stock piles?
15/03/20 16:35:24
Prankster Granny
15/03/20 16:23:28
"How much for a Gram?"
15/03/20 16:05:36
Supermarket Sleep
15/03/20 15:50:48
She's a little tough, but should be suitable for making soup stock.
15/03/20 15:45:53
"Why do I always end up with the wobbly ones?"
15/03/20 14:43:39
Dolly's trolley
15/03/20 14:24:38
Coronavirus Breaking News: As hospitals run out of beds, patients are bringing their own trolleys to A & E.
15/03/20 14:03:49
"That's it. I've had enough of you playing up. When we get home you're going straight to your cot"
15/03/20 13:24:33
Coca-Cola ✓7 Up ✓Tango ✓Now, where's the Wind Eze?
15/03/20 13:17:49
Reduced price. Slightly irregular.
15/03/20 13:08:32
On sale. Past expiration date.
15/03/20 13:07:56
“The kids always treat me like a baby, yesterday I woke up in a cot!”
15/03/20 13:06:00
No Mum you can’t have a chocolate bar. You won’t eat your Dinner.
15/03/20 12:50:22
Just look at this wizened old pear
15/03/20 12:41:20
Bedpanic buying
15/03/20 12:40:26
Gericartric
15/03/20 12:37:01
Unexpected item in the bagging area.
15/03/20 12:25:20
“I would wrap you up in cotton wool if I could mum, but there’s none left on the shelves.”
15/03/20 12:06:52
Nanic buying
15/03/20 12:00:54
She remembered looking down at two little rose buds but now they were full bloom, the next stage would be to wilt and drop off.
15/03/20 12:00:10
"You'd get trollyed too, if you got told to self-isolate for 3 months."
15/03/20 12:00:06