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Freeze spider!! You are under a wrist
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Mr Dome  Vote score: 9438Mr Dome

Freeze spider!! You are under a wrist

20/02/20 20:47:15

 
James Lennox Vote score: 5367James Lennox

Yet another sensible reason why every American should own a gun.

20/02/20 20:30:21

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 18168Troompa Loompa

Dave was beginning to regret saying "Use a magazine."

20/02/20 21:11:38

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6986The Wolf

"DON'T SHOOT"

"I have to, sir. Nobody should be allowed to get away with wearing a yellow shirt"

20/02/20 20:04:15

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9354Stephen Bean

"Ok, tell us where Little Miss Muffet lives. That bitch stole my whey protein!"

20/02/20 20:00:16

 
James Lennox Vote score: 5367James Lennox

"I don't know about this ... the time you tried to shoot that fly I lost half a thumb."

20/02/20 20:12:28

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 5708Vivvy En

"Stick 'em up...all eight of 'em!"

20/02/20 20:01:28

 
stone face Vote score: 7503stone face

"You bastard! With your joke ink gun. This is me favourite jumper, you twit."

20/02/20 20:50:03

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 5708Vivvy En

"Right, let's get him to the station now we have him cuffed."

20/02/20 20:30:13

 
Rachel P Vote score: 1539Rachel P

S.W.A.T

20/02/20 20:08:52

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9354Stephen Bean

"Don't worry, it's just a water pistol but he doesn't know that!"

20/02/20 20:02:58

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Itsy Bitsy Spider
Climbed up Walter the scout
Down came the revolver
And blew her little brains out

20/02/20 20:01:28

 
Mark England Vote score: 16558Mark England

Coming to cinemas soon. Quentin Tarantino's... Arachnophobia

20/02/20 20:12:24

 
C CaMel Vote score: 5706C CaMel

I once trapped one of those in my bath, but he got up, ran down the stairs and shot me with his gun.

21/02/20 13:37:11

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10568Neil Mackenzie

Why have you not shot it between the eyes?
Because it’s got eight.

21/02/20 8:14:03

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10568Neil Mackenzie

It’s a Banana Spider.
You know that because it’s on my yellow shirt?
No. There’s a bunch of them.

21/02/20 6:58:57

 
Dev B Vote score: 611Dev B

Spider-man v/s Gun-man

21/02/20 6:52:14

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9438Mr Dome

A remake of The Matrix with Keano Reeves trying to take down the web

21/02/20 6:18:21

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2120Scrijjy Doo

Not me, you idiot, long sleeve shirt guy!

21/02/20 2:31:00

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1385Willie Johnson

Spider! Then he shot her.

Leaving behind a black widower.

21/02/20 0:28:58

 
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

“Don’t move Charlotte!”

20/02/20 22:23:24

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 18168Troompa Loompa

After 19 series, the producers of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here were finding it harder and harder to come up with original ideas for bush tucker trials.

20/02/20 22:21:11

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 1031Mark Wilson

Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!

20/02/20 22:20:46

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 18168Troompa Loompa

The campmates voted unanimously to send Piers Morgan on the bush tucker trial called "blindfolded spider juggling shooting gallery".

20/02/20 22:18:48

 
J Gaskill Vote score: 109J Gaskill

do unto others as you would have them do unto you

20/02/20 22:18:41

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 18168Troompa Loompa

"Don't panic, it'll be fine. I was taught how to do this by Oscar Pistorius."

20/02/20 22:04:43

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 1031Mark Wilson

Freeze! Now what do i do Steve

20/02/20 22:01:56

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 18168Troompa Loompa

Don't shoot until you see the whites of his flies.

20/02/20 21:56:58

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2120Scrijjy Doo

Once I mount it, everyone will see how brave I am.

20/02/20 21:27:31

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 1031Mark Wilson

Shoot him! You have no idea how much a Chinese burn from a spider hurts

20/02/20 21:27:03

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

"It's the wife's bloody fault! She bought me this silk shirt!

20/02/20 21:22:48

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 18168Troompa Loompa

Pest control services, as recommended by Abu Hamza.

20/02/20 21:21:20

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 1031Mark Wilson

Knobhead, you've shot my tattoo

20/02/20 21:18:56

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21975Ian Skelding

Armed with a Weber.

20/02/20 20:57:07

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9354Stephen Bean

"Please don't harm me, I have a silk child at home."

20/02/20 20:50:47

 
stone face Vote score: 7503stone face

I don't think that's a real situation. It looks like a spider plant, to me."

20/02/20 20:41:55

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 31494Tony Edwards

Harry demonstrates the latest spider-catcher gun.

20/02/20 20:40:57

 
stone face Vote score: 7503stone face

"Hurry up and shoot it , before it bites me."

20/02/20 20:40:42

 
  Smuldo Vote score: 11613 Smuldo

This photo confirms the rumours that George committed Insecticide.

20/02/20 20:39:20

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9354Stephen Bean

"Please don't kill me, I'm just a poor lonely spinster."

20/02/20 20:36:29

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21975Ian Skelding

"Couldn't we just do bunny rabbit hand shadows like everybody else."

20/02/20 20:35:47

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9354Stephen Bean

Fortunately, the arachnid queen had a bodyguard to defend her from yellow jackets.

20/02/20 20:29:19

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6986The Wolf

"You don't have to shoot it, just give it to Bear Grylls, he'll eat the bastard"

20/02/20 20:27:56

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 22855Michael Winner

"Put the gun down or I'll rip this goddamned ticket sellers' arm off!" yelled Incey Winchester Spider as he climbed up the tout.

20/02/20 20:24:24

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 11557Vanessa the Guesser

"Don't look now, but you've got webbed feet as well."

20/02/20 20:14:36

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 11557Vanessa the Guesser

"Let's put him under a vest."

20/02/20 20:13:10

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9105Dave Bryan

''Hand over the cash or I'll blow you to smithereens.''

''You're making a big mistake. I'm not a money spider.''

20/02/20 20:11:20

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9354Stephen Bean

"Don't move, or I'll blow away your cobwebs!"

20/02/20 20:08:11

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

“AAAAAAAAGH! Is it a Goliath Berteating spider?”

20/02/20 20:07:44

 
Rachel P Vote score: 1539Rachel P

.... and that’s how Black Widows are made!

20/02/20 20:03:49

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4429Karyn Harrison

"I don't care if you do blow my arm off, just get the bastard off me!"

20/02/20 20:02:30

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9105Dave Bryan

''Should I take off my shirt?''

''No, you don't have the right to bare arms.''

20/02/20 20:02:25

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9354Stephen Bean

"Run away again and I'll let you have it…

Now, as I was saying, perhaps you can stop my grandma from dying. All you have to do is catch a fly she swallowed…"

20/02/20 20:01:10

 
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