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Its the only way I can stop him from self harming. He keeps bashing his head against the windows.
Its the only way I can stop him from self harming. He keeps bashing his head against the windows. photo | portfolio
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Dave Bryan Vote score: 9092Dave Bryan

''It's the only way I can stop him from self harming. He keeps bashing his head against the windows.''

24/02/20 8:08:10

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9339Stephen Bean

"Remember, when the waiter appears, you jump in my soup. As soon as he's gone I'll pull you out."

24/02/20 8:00:05

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9092Dave Bryan

Coronavirus Breaking News: China has announced that all flights have been grounded.

24/02/20 8:02:12

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9339Stephen Bean

"Thank you for restraining your pet Sir. This is a no fly zone."

24/02/20 8:01:09

 
Rachel P Vote score: 1517Rachel P

Goodbye cruel world.

24/02/20 8:50:32

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9339Stephen Bean

Dave was having trouble mastering the art of flossing, until he trained his pet fly to do it for him.

24/02/20 8:06:29

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 1020Mark Wilson

The jury were shown the last footage before that fateful high five

24/02/20 13:49:57

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14616Dan Nicholls

It's Sean Connery's pet. Every time he says "SIT" he thinks it's dinner time.

24/02/20 9:16:46

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9092Dave Bryan

''I'm having to walk him home. He missed the last buzz.''

24/02/20 8:13:09

 
stone face Vote score: 7493stone face

I went fly fishing and caught this blue bottle.

24/02/20 8:09:17

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

This is my new horsefly, I'm breaking him in.

24/02/20 8:02:32

 
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

Where’s the S.W.A.T. Team?

26/02/20 2:18:43

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1384Willie Johnson

Fly aweigh.

24/02/20 20:48:48

 
The Caption Guy The Caption Guy

"Bugger-off, mate!"

24/02/20 19:07:13

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2118Scrijjy Doo

It's her time of the month.

24/02/20 15:20:26

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20363John Glover

"It's the only way to keep him with me, he's a bit of a fly by night."

24/02/20 14:59:19

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2118Scrijjy Doo

Please pull up your fly.

24/02/20 14:18:02

 
Glad You Remember Vote score: 1110Glad You Remember

PalmPilot

24/02/20 13:18:53

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 22855Michael Winner

He used to be a fly, but since the accident he's just a walk.

24/02/20 12:58:14

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20363John Glover

"What's the last thing to go through a fly's mind when it hits a car windscreen?"
"Its bum.?"

24/02/20 12:58:10

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10565Neil Mackenzie

Where did you get it from?
The Pet Shop.
I dldn’t know they had flies.
They didn’t either. Till I told them there was one in the window.

24/02/20 12:48:32

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6099Greg Curtis

"When I was a kid, we DIDN'T HAVE drones..."

24/02/20 11:12:54

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8478Chris Keegan

"What's his name?"
- "Fred"

24/02/20 11:11:52

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6099Greg Curtis

"Okay, here's your fly, but there's something I want in return..."

24/02/20 11:09:53

 
GeeDee Vote score: 2851GeeDee

Sorry Mr.J.R.Hartley that wasn't the kind of Fly Tying we are looking for

24/02/20 9:31:19

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9339Stephen Bean

"What the f*ck are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a fly flying a kite before?"

24/02/20 8:04:26

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9092Dave Bryan

'' He was easy to train. I've got him eating out of the palm of my hand.''

24/02/20 8:03:11

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4462Lucky Elperro

Honestly Barry, it's not a 20 second fuse or a suicide vest.

24/02/20 10:20:37

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9092Dave Bryan

''I've got you a delicious pile of dog poo for your birthday.''

''Honestly? I'll be very upset, if you're just stringing me along.''

24/02/20 9:02:45

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 31478Tony Edwards

Fly-by-wire

24/02/20 8:52:26

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4426Karyn Harrison

He's my buzzin' pal.

24/02/20 8:41:49

 
Rachel P Vote score: 1517Rachel P

Mr Miyagi shows the world how he really caught flies using chopsticks

24/02/20 8:26:22

 
C CaMel Vote score: 5705C CaMel

Flying banner wedding proposals Scotland.

24/02/20 8:25:30

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9437Mr Dome

Autoerotic asflyxiation

24/02/20 8:14:06

 
Mark England Vote score: 16546Mark England

Fly as a kite

24/02/20 8:14:01

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 11552Vanessa the Guesser

"Hey mate, your fly's undone."

24/02/20 8:11:27

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9437Mr Dome

The best way to take down those buffalo gnats

24/02/20 8:10:59

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 6586Hercules Rockefeller

"Buzz off! I do not need this balloon to help me fly!"

24/02/20 8:10:54

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

"Flappies!"

24/02/20 8:08:05

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9339Stephen Bean

"So how do you think you might have caught threadworm?"

"Well doc, I've had a lot of shit in my life lately."

24/02/20 8:02:37

 
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