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"I told you not to call the security guard a useless fat git."
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John  Glover Vote score: 19638John Glover

"I told you not to call the security guard a useless fat git."

25/11/19 20:05:50

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 37739Welsh Rarebit

Two's company, tree's a crowd

25/11/19 20:37:08

 
James Lennox Vote score: 3599James Lennox

"So, do you come here often?"

25/11/19 20:08:43

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5159Paul Reeve

Shoplifters will be persecuted.

25/11/19 21:19:42

 
stone face Vote score: 5981stone face

Shared accomodation close to local amenities. Two up, two down, depends how you want to sleep. £500 PCM ..London

25/11/19 20:59:22

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4974The Wolf

"I can't believe the teleporter worked"...said the Australian

25/11/19 20:00:28

 1
Or the Kiwi. --Willie Johnson
James Lennox Vote score: 3599James Lennox

Controversial new initiative employs jobless youths as fertiliser.

25/11/19 20:23:55

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4974The Wolf

"This is the worst Christmas party ever"

25/11/19 20:17:57

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 6218Dave Bryan

''You shouldn't have asked for a plastic bag.''

25/11/19 20:16:48

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4974The Wolf

"Brace yourself Carl, I need a piss"

25/11/19 20:03:36

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 2407Crunchy Chords
"I told you not to call the security guard a useless fat git."

26/11/19 2:22:27

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 5781Glyn Evans

Designated Smoker's Area.

25/11/19 20:24:54

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 5277Stephen Bean

"That's the last time I let you pack our parachutes."

25/11/19 20:03:22

 
dave the rave Vote score: 166dave the rave

Their protest wasn't as effective as they thought it would be.

25/11/19 20:00:54

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4004Lucky Elperro

Extinction rebellion vow to save every tree in Britain.

25/11/19 22:06:59

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30285Tony Edwards

"We can't go on meeting like this."

25/11/19 21:00:30

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 22368Michael Winner

"Oh, so you're a human cannonball too?"

25/11/19 20:38:11

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21023Ian Skelding

Poplar guys

25/11/19 20:10:37

 1
dave the rave Vote score: 166dave the rave

Are you sure this is the best way to get rid of hiccups?

25/11/19 20:00:06

 
Glad You Remember Vote score: 996Glad You Remember

Sprain sprees

26/11/19 18:10:36

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 1364Scrijjy Doo

We've been in tighter spots than this before.

26/11/19 14:49:37

 
sarah solway Vote score: 64sarah solway

Its true then, only the stuck up people shop at Sainsburys.

26/11/19 8:05:22

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 9586Neil Mackenzie

🎵Upside down Boy, yew turn me 🎵

26/11/19 6:59:29

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 5816Greg Curtis

..."Gotta light?"

26/11/19 2:23:54

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 769Willie Johnson

Must be a very large squirrel to try and bury those two nuts.

25/11/19 22:06:46

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4004Lucky Elperro

Homeless people find loophole in private property trespass law.

25/11/19 22:02:54

 
D M Vote score: 711D M

Chinese officials laud a new technological breakthrough as their first envoys pass safely through the centre of the Earth.

25/11/19 21:31:28

 
D M Vote score: 711D M

“Well, here’s another nice mesh you’ve gotten me into.”

25/11/19 21:25:14

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 314Gavin Smithers

Manchester United

25/11/19 21:18:23

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 5986Hercules Rockefeller

"Guys, I didn't mean it literally when I said I wanted you to make like a tree."

25/11/19 20:06:44

 1
Doesn't look like they can make like a tree and leave. --Willie Johnson
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21023Ian Skelding

Buy one get one tree

25/11/19 20:05:22

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 37739Welsh Rarebit

Tree Fellas

25/11/19 20:04:02

 
GeeDee Vote score: 2719GeeDee

I see the Siamese twins are at it again

25/11/19 21:04:30

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 7299Chris Keegan

Is it just me, or are supermarket Christmas adverts getting a little too much into an 'alternative approach' competition?

25/11/19 21:00:38

 
Baglan Gladiator Vote score: 1078Baglan Gladiator

I told you you should have got Brains to fix the boarding tube for Thunderbird one

25/11/19 20:54:34

 
Jack Joyce Vote score: 133Jack Joyce

"The headspin move got them in there. The jackhammer should get them out"

25/11/19 20:52:55

 
Jack Joyce Vote score: 133Jack Joyce

"I feel a right dick!"

"Move over and let's never speak of this again!"

25/11/19 20:51:56

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 3297Karyn Harrison

The Bletchley tree folk

25/11/19 20:49:17

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 4743Vivvy En

Mug tree

25/11/19 20:45:53

 
Carey Sutton Vote score: 849Carey Sutton

Looking for their roots

25/11/19 20:41:22

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4974The Wolf

Typical bloody men. Will do anything to get out of shopping

25/11/19 20:24:38

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 3297Karyn Harrison

They're obviously off their trolleys.

25/11/19 20:19:07

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 9578Vanessa the Guesser

Give them 100 Amber Nectar points

25/11/19 20:14:15

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 37739Welsh Rarebit

Slumberjacks

25/11/19 20:06:55

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2524Trace Sarge

Guilty...not got a leg to stand on

25/11/19 20:03:17

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4974The Wolf

"I know people love being first at the reduced section, but the lengths some people go to..."

25/11/19 20:01:05

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30285Tony Edwards

Welcome to Insanesbury's

25/11/19 20:01:04

 
James Lennox Vote score: 3599James Lennox

Suggested ménage à trois, got menagerie a tree.

25/11/19 20:00:35

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 37739Welsh Rarebit

Trunk and Disorderly

25/11/19 20:00:18

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 3297Karyn Harrison

Inverted yobs

25/11/19 20:00:12

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 37739Welsh Rarebit

Barking, up the wrong tree.

25/11/19 20:00:06

 
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