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Gnome To Roost
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Mark England Vote score: 16912Mark England

Gnome To Roost

24/10/19 20:22:33

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 31817Tony Edwards

Brands Hatch

24/10/19 20:33:02

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6583Glyn Evans

"Screw you and your intolerant views!" Gerry said as he ram raided a Coop Clucks Klan meeting.

24/10/19 20:55:22

 
James Lennox Vote score: 5545James Lennox

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get the hell away from a crazy gnome in a VW.

24/10/19 20:01:52

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8888Chris Keegan

Sorry Dave, you've got it totally wrong on every count! I said a HOMING PIGEON!

24/10/19 21:04:02

 
  Smuldo Vote score: 11660 Smuldo

"Boy, I say Boy, You can't go driving that thing when a chicken is trying to cross..."

24/10/19 21:02:38

 
James Lennox Vote score: 5545James Lennox

"Bugger off chicken, this is not your coupe."

24/10/19 20:50:06

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2539Trace Sarge

What came first the chicken or the egg head?

24/10/19 20:08:41

 
stone face Vote score: 7637stone face

Remember Papa Gnome 'Cluck Click every trip.'

24/10/19 20:02:42

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10683Neil Mackenzie

The chicken loved playing chicken.

25/10/19 7:50:55

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 515Charles Gilbert

Gnomencluckture.

25/10/19 5:31:32

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1478Willie Johnson

Hen: "Is there anything else to make a stupid pun about?"
VW driver: "Gnome ma'am."

25/10/19 5:21:52

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1478Willie Johnson

The chicken eyes the candy corn on the gnome's head.

25/10/19 4:54:46

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20568John Glover

The chicken lives by itself and is a Gnome mad.

25/10/19 2:22:38

 
Generic RedHead Vote score: 682Generic RedHead

"Please sir, this is the last time i warn you to not get your cock out in your garden."

25/10/19 0:44:14

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 515Charles Gilbert

No you can't drive my car just because you shit all over yours!

25/10/19 0:23:59

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1478Willie Johnson

Gnome more chicken jokes. The hen's too cross. Motivation is irrelevant (not pictured).

24/10/19 23:45:52

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2260Scrijjy Doo

There's crow place like gnome. There's crow place like gnome.

24/10/19 23:42:09

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1478Willie Johnson

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the hot rod parked on the other side.
( 🎵 Little GMO ... waa-waa, little GMO.🎵)

24/10/19 22:51:54

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2260Scrijjy Doo

The Wizard of Eggs

24/10/19 22:24:04

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9655Mr Dome

Not quite sure why they call me '99'

24/10/19 21:53:28

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

"Any chance of a lift?"
"Get stuffed!"

24/10/19 21:43:54

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How brood! --Karyn Harrison
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9655Mr Dome

Y indeed!!

24/10/19 21:37:01

 
Carey Sutton Vote score: 891Carey Sutton

He looks as if he is hen pecked.

24/10/19 21:36:03

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8888Chris Keegan

I seem to recall when a bird asking for a lift was an attractive proposition.

24/10/19 21:18:34

 
James Lennox Vote score: 5545James Lennox

Clearly those cars are battery powered.

24/10/19 21:08:50

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 31817Tony Edwards

Kentucky Freed Chicken

24/10/19 20:44:10

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 5941Vivvy En

'That weirdo's in the Beetle again,' thought Henrietta. 'S'pose I'll just have to take my Bugatti instead.'

24/10/19 20:41:18

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6583Glyn Evans

"Wanna get high? I've got some great stuff" asked the gnome.
"I know what you're up to. I see through your disguise, you're no puffin" said the disgusted chicken.
"Yes, I am" the gnome replied.

24/10/19 20:35:13

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 12032Vanessa the Guesser

"I'm a commercial laying hen."
"What- like a prostitute?"

24/10/19 20:34:40

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 12032Vanessa the Guesser

Despite the large hat, he only had a smallholding.

24/10/19 20:24:59

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2539Trace Sarge

Stop cluck and listen

24/10/19 20:22:49

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9703Dave Bryan

Look on the bright side. It wasn't the sheep's head.

24/10/19 20:18:12

 
stone face Vote score: 7637stone face

"I always keep my pointy helmet on a gnome in my hen house. That way it's easy to find, for when I want to put it on my cock."

24/10/19 20:07:09

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 6721Hercules Rockefeller

The Smurfs were gonna eat well tonight.

24/10/19 20:01:03

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 31817Tony Edwards

🎵 Little Red Roadster 🎵

24/10/19 20:18:47

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8888Chris Keegan

"Darling, there's a little old bloke in our garden with his cock out"

24/10/19 20:15:51

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 3990Stu Dent

Worst showcase showdown ever

24/10/19 20:14:16

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9703Dave Bryan

''My car has broken down. Can you help me pullet?''

24/10/19 20:06:30

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Gnomeo and Pullet

24/10/19 20:05:07

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Norman moved into the chicken coop because he'd had enough of living a gnomadic lifestyle.

24/10/19 20:03:00

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 3434Crunchy Chords

Something in my brain makes me write bad puns.
The doctor thinks it's cars-hen-gnome-a.

24/10/19 20:00:11

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