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Mummy needs to get some groceries, darling. Just play with yourself for a while.
Mummy needs to get some groceries, darling. Just play with yourself for a while. photo | portfolio
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Dave Bryan Vote score: 4671Dave Bryan

''Mummy needs to get some groceries, darling. Just play with yourself for a while.''

13/08/19 8:16:43

 3
I'm all for dupe policing, but I think this one is fine. The potential for a masturbation based caption is pretty obvious, so it's hard to say only one captioneer is entitled to it. Other than that the joke is quite different. 20:00:09 could wor... --James Lennox
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 1910Crunchy Chords

The randy little alien played with himself as he approached his victim. Then he saw the eerily accurate sign.

13/08/19 8:00:09

 
Molly R Vote score: 968Molly R

No, don't pull the baby behind you - do what other mothers do, and push it ahead of you into the traffic.

13/08/19 8:43:11

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 8603Vanessa the Guesser

No self-service.

13/08/19 8:19:48

 
Lynne A Lynne A

She thought the supermarket crèche facility was a little basic but fantastic value for just a £1 coin...

Wed 22:41:45

 
C CaMel Vote score: 4448C CaMel

"Take me to your Lidl."

13/08/19 14:58:09

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6865Mr Dome

Unexpected item in the bagging area

13/08/19 10:18:27

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 3481Stephen Bean

Stay within the diving sphere when deep sea trolley-ing.

13/08/19 12:38:19

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5985Chris Keegan

Does anyone happen to know where you can buy these stickers? I’d do anything to keep bloody women and kids out of my local boozer!

13/08/19 9:25:55

 
Mike Walsh Vote score: 17Mike Walsh

You are advised to not use trolleys without sides as all your stuff will fall out. If you decide to go and find a regular trolley, remember to take your child with you.

13/08/19 23:21:16

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 651Sam Cass

The halves and the halve nots.

13/08/19 18:37:05

 
larry G. Vote score: 1298larry G.

Stupid baby on board stickers prohibited by law.

13/08/19 15:28:53

 
John  Glover Vote score: 19179John Glover

"Can you drive lady?"
"Yes I can."
"Well back on to this."

13/08/19 12:16:09

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2342James Lennox

Please do not let your children play on our 45 degree angles.

13/08/19 10:50:00

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2342James Lennox

Don't put your whores before the cart.

13/08/19 10:27:05

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6865Mr Dome

Thank god for this life raft, she thought

13/08/19 8:54:25

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 282Willie Johnson

No kicking Mommie's butt when she leaves to get the peas.

13/08/19 8:45:24

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 282Willie Johnson

No farting in your baby's direction.

13/08/19 8:45:23

 1
Tony Edwards Vote score: 29598Tony Edwards

Shocking trolley

13/08/19 8:42:47

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 282Willie Johnson

They were getting nowhere. Then she realized they were in a giant hamster wheel.

13/08/19 8:35:46

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 4671Dave Bryan

Why do supermarkets always put a wanker on the trolleys?

13/08/19 8:35:20

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 282Willie Johnson

No backing into shopping carts.

13/08/19 8:27:10

 
General Zod Vote score: 3293General Zod

"I'm not a trolley dolly."

13/08/19 8:25:33

 
General Zod Vote score: 3293General Zod

Shopping with Lidl children is prohibited

13/08/19 8:24:10

 
John Llamas Vote score: 19817John Llamas

Virgin Supermarkets

13/08/19 8:18:32

 
General Zod Vote score: 3293General Zod

Dragging Miss Daisy

13/08/19 8:18:25

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 9258Neil Mackenzie

Aisle be back.

13/08/19 8:16:26

 
John Llamas Vote score: 19817John Llamas

The young retail apprentices are made to work a week in hand.

13/08/19 8:14:16

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12677Dan Nicholls

We're going to that mum and baby place where you pretend you're shopping in a hamster wheel.

13/08/19 8:13:06

 
John Llamas Vote score: 19817John Llamas

The first sign that you’re off you trolley

13/08/19 8:12:44

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 4671Dave Bryan

Caption.Me Breaking News: Tiny Alien is banned from another supermarket.

13/08/19 8:10:47

 
The Wolf Vote score: 3240The Wolf

No wanking midgets allowed on shopping trolleys (even if accompanied by a person of regular height).

13/08/19 8:00:14

 
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