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"Ive got a crush on you"
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Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 9576Vanessa the Guesser

"I've got a crush on you"

10/08/19 11:01:02

 
Carey Sutton Vote score: 849Carey Sutton

He is seriously under weight.

10/08/19 13:00:35

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30283Tony Edwards

Heavy petting

10/08/19 11:57:31

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4969The Wolf

"Was it good for you? Dave? DAVE?"

10/08/19 11:11:21

 2
I lie awake at night worrying about Dave. It's just been one bum deal after another! --Karyn Harrison
stone face Vote score: 5978stone face

"I prefer being on the bottom. The last time I went on top, I burnt my arse on the lightbulb."

10/08/19 21:07:59

 
Tiny Alien Vote score: 486Tiny Alien

Submissionary Position

11/08/19 0:35:58

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 768Willie Johnson

He's literally a man trapped inside a woman's body.

10/08/19 11:53:24

 2
There is some good material here. --Scrijjy Doo
Madeline Charlton Vote score: 128Madeline Charlton

The obesity crisis has reached its climax .

10/08/19 13:37:51

 
Mark England Vote score: 15654Mark England

"I'm fed up sleeping like this every night, Derek. Can't you just buy a bloody duvet?"

10/08/19 14:11:45

 
John  Glover Vote score: 19632John Glover

"Arrrrrgh, did you have to jump off the wardrobe Mavis?"

10/08/19 13:16:16

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4969The Wolf

"Shall we just talk?"

10/08/19 11:00:08

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2524Trace Sarge

Where is an out of body experience when you need it

10/08/19 17:44:03

 1
Imagine the view from the ceiling! --Karyn Harrison
Ron  Allan Vote score: 5448Ron Allan

Barry woke from a strange dream where he'd been a zeppelin pilot

10/08/19 13:22:28

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 2814Stu Dent

He is just her flatmate

10/08/19 11:05:42

 
Tiny Alien Vote score: 486Tiny Alien

Aparently she'd been dead for 2 weeks, and her partner only 2 days

11/08/19 6:07:04

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 7829Mr Dome

🎵 ...there were two in the bed and the little one said 'roll over, roll ooooooooooo.....'

10/08/19 18:26:06

 
John Llamas Vote score: 19952John Llamas

Dave hoped it would last but feared it may just be a crush.

10/08/19 11:48:21

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21021Ian Skelding

"Not so weak now am I Mr Buerk?"

10/08/19 11:39:46

 
Lee Hauxwell Vote score: 196Lee Hauxwell

Mmph mmmm hmmm nnnngh

10/08/19 11:10:03

 
Scrunchy Doo Vote score: 1363Scrunchy Doo

I thought they canceled Roseanne.

12/08/19 0:19:01

 
Richard  Bottom Vote score: 33Richard Bottom

Next: the 69, a 99 then the 6.99 chicken with cheese

10/08/19 20:06:18

 
Barrie Bullock Vote score: 498Barrie Bullock

Meaty, beaty, big & bouncy.

10/08/19 15:08:29

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 16557Troompa Loompa

The Pink Panter

10/08/19 14:47:09

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 7296Chris Keegan

Jeremy Corbyn finally agrees to resign

10/08/19 13:18:03

 
C CaMel Vote score: 4824C CaMel

Boned Big

10/08/19 13:11:33

 
Carey Sutton Vote score: 849Carey Sutton

Save willy

10/08/19 12:53:00

 1
Lee Hauxwell Vote score: 196Lee Hauxwell

Iron man

10/08/19 12:41:24

 1
So what do you think, then? Is he alive or dead?:^) --Crunchy Chords
Lee Hauxwell Vote score: 196Lee Hauxwell

Under pants

10/08/19 12:31:51

 
John  Glover Vote score: 19632John Glover

The elephant in the room.

10/08/19 12:25:07

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 37726Welsh Rarebit

Any pork in a storm...

10/08/19 12:00:28

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30283Tony Edwards

Love I land

10/08/19 11:33:27

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 22368Michael Winner

"Nope, still can't feel anything. Say, do you still have that bucket?"

10/08/19 11:32:42

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 3290Karyn Harrison

Sometimes Jack Spratt regretted giving the wife his cream.

10/08/19 11:13:30

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4969The Wolf

"OK FINE, I'LL MAKE YOU A SANDWICH"

10/08/19 11:02:29

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 2814Stu Dent

There a somethings you can't blame on the beer

10/08/19 11:00:06

 
Anna Caddy Vote score: 309Anna Caddy

Size matters

11/08/19 8:58:48

 
ant knee Vote score: 1134ant knee

This totally redefines the Big Bang theory

11/08/19 6:40:04

 
Tiny Alien Vote score: 486Tiny Alien

I hate it when Mum gives us a goodnight kiss!

11/08/19 6:02:26

 
Scrunchy Doo Vote score: 1363Scrunchy Doo

And that's why he's called Matt.

11/08/19 4:18:04

 
Scrunchy Doo Vote score: 1363Scrunchy Doo

The condom broke, as did Phil.

11/08/19 4:17:50

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4003Lucky Elperro

Mr Kipling had an adoring fanbase.

11/08/19 2:00:13

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4003Lucky Elperro

To his cost, Daily Star reporter investigates if photos on online dating sites are accurate.

11/08/19 1:59:12

 
C CaMel Vote score: 4824C CaMel

She was caught during a steak out, with chips.

10/08/19 22:18:43

 
C CaMel Vote score: 4824C CaMel

Mass Murder

10/08/19 22:16:40

 
C CaMel Vote score: 4824C CaMel

He made a big impression on her.

10/08/19 22:10:04

 
Richard  Bottom Vote score: 33Richard Bottom

Something's weighing on me, darling

10/08/19 20:07:05

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 9585Neil Mackenzie

It wasn’t the game of squash I had in mind.

10/08/19 18:11:07

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 7296Chris Keegan

Tracy did 5 years for prostitution, she was never going to get off lightly.

10/08/19 17:38:50

 
  Smuldo Vote score: 11226 Smuldo

Because, first Impressions , last.

10/08/19 16:48:39

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 7829Mr Dome

- This reminds me of our honeymoon darling
- when you couldn't get me off you for two weeks??
- No. Our helicopter ride in the Grand Canyon

10/08/19 14:55:43

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 7829Mr Dome

She's sucked him dry

10/08/19 14:53:28

 
GeeDee Vote score: 2719GeeDee

Thats the last time I ask you to get on top!

10/08/19 13:57:57

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 7296Chris Keegan

"Do you reckon Terry will pull tonight?"
- "He's got a fat chance"

10/08/19 13:55:03

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 9576Vanessa the Guesser

"Will you PLEASE just get off?"

10/08/19 13:52:09

 
Lee Hauxwell Vote score: 196Lee Hauxwell

Who's that in bed with her?
That's her lunch.

10/08/19 13:09:18

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 768Willie Johnson

He wasn't sure about their relationship, but she's growing on him.

10/08/19 13:08:04

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21021Ian Skelding

"Where's Wally?"
"Yes it does, doesn't it?"

10/08/19 13:07:52

 
Lee Hauxwell Vote score: 196Lee Hauxwell

Beware of large inflateables blowing over in high winds.

10/08/19 13:06:06

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 7296Chris Keegan

"Sorry about the weight"

10/08/19 13:03:46

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 13459Dan Nicholls

"And what are the safety words?"
"Can't hear the stereo."

10/08/19 12:01:10

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4969The Wolf

F*ck 'in Hell'

10/08/19 11:49:55

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30283Tony Edwards

Under the bum

10/08/19 11:45:17

 
Carey Sutton Vote score: 849Carey Sutton

He's blubbering now

10/08/19 11:31:28

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 13459Dan Nicholls

"Can we do 69 in a minute? I want you to try and find Colin's glasses while you're there".

10/08/19 11:29:26

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 3290Karyn Harrison

Bridget Jones has really let herself go!

10/08/19 11:29:21

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 13459Dan Nicholls

Is she making love or giving birth?

10/08/19 11:28:16

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 13459Dan Nicholls

Oooh she's wearing her sexy pants. The ones designed by NASA

10/08/19 11:26:53

 
Lee Hauxwell Vote score: 196Lee Hauxwell

Squash courting

10/08/19 11:09:21

 
Lee Hauxwell Vote score: 196Lee Hauxwell

Princess and the Pete

10/08/19 11:08:18

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4969The Wolf

"Oh yeah babe, I'm in"
"No Paul, that's a bed sore"

10/08/19 11:00:20

 
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