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"And remember love, if you get a puncture, Ive got a spare tyre here."
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stone face Vote score: 4869stone face

"And remember love, if you get a puncture, I've got a spare tyre here."

05/07/19 8:18:33

 
Molly R Vote score: 1023Molly R

Bloody pavement cyclists, I've had a belly full of them.

05/07/19 8:00:43

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 16557Troompa Loompa

5 minutes of sunshine reported in Glasgow.

05/07/19 9:42:33

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2619James Lennox

She's just lucky this ogre only eats cyclists going downhill.

05/07/19 8:07:26

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 36627Welsh Rarebit

?

05/07/19 8:00:11

 
Generic RedHead Vote score: 387Generic RedHead

"That damn question mark still isn't stopping them coming down here"

05/07/19 9:35:02

 
stone face Vote score: 4869stone face

"I thought. If I ride passed him as fast as I can, his belly would wobble in the slipstream, and he could not help but notice me. I guess I was looking for a gut reaction."

Out friday, another bloody pretentious French movie.

05/07/19 8:35:52

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 5132Dave Bryan

''I'm saddle never see her again.''

05/07/19 8:30:55

 
Spycenwolf  Vote score: 874Spycenwolf

Dave used to wear his yellow shirt, mocking all the cyclists passing by his door, until one day, the shirt stopped fitting him.

05/07/19 8:12:44

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2619James Lennox

"Oh look, she's doing that exercise thing. I've heard of that. Sounds like rubbish."

05/07/19 8:05:58

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 7132Mr Dome

Dave was hoping the girl would come back using his powers of attraction gained from the size of his belly and its gravitational pull

05/07/19 10:24:38

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 29781Tony Edwards

🎵 Yummy, yummy, yummy, I got love in my tummy 🎵

05/07/19 9:57:33

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 3944Stephen Bean

Roly-poly and rolly-Polly

05/07/19 9:55:37

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 29781Tony Edwards

There are no takers for Dave's free red-light service.

05/07/19 9:27:53

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 4413Vivvy En

'There she goes, the town bike, pedalling her wares'

05/07/19 8:46:17

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 29781Tony Edwards

Bikesexual

05/07/19 8:39:33

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 7132Mr Dome

I can feel it but I can't see it. What am I?

05/07/19 8:30:48

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2619James Lennox

"Hey Luv, do you wanna park your bike in my ass crack?"

"F*ck off you fat old git."

Sometimes reality just isn't funny.

05/07/19 8:19:01

 
stone face Vote score: 4869stone face

Mr Wilson eyed young Beryl lustfully. But he was paunching above his weight.

05/07/19 8:16:16

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 8786Vanessa the Guesser

"Quick somebody, call the midwife!"

05/07/19 8:16:09

 
stone face Vote score: 4869stone face

After a hard days filming, a Men In Black alien relaxes at his front door.

05/07/19 8:14:07

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 5132Dave Bryan

''I used to cycle in road races but I no longer have the stomach for it.''

05/07/19 8:05:08

 
larry G. Vote score: 1345larry G.

"What do you expect? I just won the Nathans Hot Dog eating contest in Coney Island."

05/07/19 15:32:11

 
Carey Sutton Vote score: 666Carey Sutton

Must be part of weight watchers.

05/07/19 14:16:35

 
Lawrence Day Vote score: 446Lawrence Day

Does my belly look big in this.

05/07/19 12:42:46

 
John  Glover Vote score: 19317John Glover

"Dad, come in, you look disgusting, you could at least comb your hair."

05/07/19 12:13:15

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12933Dan Nicholls

Once he stoped Riverdancing, Michael Flatley really piled on the pounds. He still got the odd jig though...

05/07/19 9:24:10

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 20835Ian Skelding

Peer gut

05/07/19 9:11:46

 
Joe Vote score: 1601Joe

Tummy Ill-figure

05/07/19 9:11:21

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 7132Mr Dome

I KNEW YOU'RE ON YOUR CYCLE ANYWAY YOU DUMB BITCH!

05/07/19 8:37:26

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 9337Neil Mackenzie

He had seen her coming and stepped aside. Bollards he thought, if he had been looking at his mobile phone he could of sued her for thousands.

05/07/19 8:27:23

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 2014Crunchy Chords

Neville keeps hoping the neighbourhood will follow his topless fashion trend.

05/07/19 8:20:55

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2461Trace Sarge

Takes guts to get on a bike

05/07/19 8:20:35

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 5132Dave Bryan

''So you put your feet on the pedals and the wheels go round. Must try it sometime.''

05/07/19 8:12:48

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 8786Vanessa the Guesser

"Nice saddlebags!"

05/07/19 8:00:12

 
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