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Wife of Pi
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Stephen Bean Vote score: 3534Stephen Bean

Wife of Pi

18/05/19 8:00:03

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 2309Stu Dent

If anyone can get through that window, Shere khan

18/05/19 8:04:35

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6875Mr Dome

I think this has been photoshopped FFS. NOBODY has one of those phones any more

18/05/19 8:20:22

 
The Wolf Vote score: 3318The Wolf

"Hello Mrs Jones? I'm calling to confirm your new life insurance policy that your husband arranged for you yesterday"

18/05/19 8:32:49

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2373James Lennox

"Hello police? Ignore my last call. While I was telling you about the strange man taking my photo, a tiger jumped through the window and ate him, so everything's fine."

18/05/19 8:05:56

 
stone face Vote score: 4511stone face

"Ok Mr heavy breather! This might suprise you, but yes,you can come round and examine my pussy anytime you want. Here's my address."

18/05/19 8:19:17

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 4744Dave Bryan

''Safari hasn't broken anything.''

18/05/19 8:00:37

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 9260Neil Mackenzie

Paddy and Noleen had been stranded on a tropical island. They had found an empty luxury bungalow, but there was no food. Noleen said if you go and catch something to eat, I,ll skin it and cook it.
Paddy fashioned him self a spear from a mop handle and a steak knife and went off into the jungle. Sneaking about he came across a small deer. He threw his spear just as a tiger rushed out of the undergrowth. In a split second the deer took off and the spear hit the tiger’s tail. The Tiger turned towards Paddy. Paddy turned towards the bungalow and set off running. He was almost there when he tripped over a vine and fell to the ground. The Tiger had pounced and would have landed on Paddy’s shoulders but Paddy wasn’t there and the Tiger flew through the Window into the bungalow. Two minutes earlier Noleen had tried the telephone and help was coming, she was just saying thankyou when a tiger flew through the window.
Paddy jumped up, closed the window and cried you skin that Noleen and I’ll go get another.

18/05/19 15:23:47

 
stone face Vote score: 4511stone face

"Hello is that Siegried or Roy? Hi, it's Jan from next door, I think you've left your garden gate open again."

18/05/19 8:35:54

 
  Smuldo Vote score: 10944 Smuldo

"Hi Honey, Remember that time you sped away without paying from the Esso garage?..."

18/05/19 8:00:21

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 8669Vanessa the Guesser

"Esso S"

18/05/19 8:00:08

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4294Kenny Ireland

Chat.

19/05/19 15:48:14

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 1930Crunchy Chords
Wife of Pi

18/05/19 18:47:35

 
larry G. Vote score: 1300larry G.

"Hello, Microsoft - my screensaver came to life."

18/05/19 15:23:14

 
larry G. Vote score: 1300larry G.

Disregard this message-my kitty just came home.

18/05/19 15:11:21

 
Madeline Charlton Vote score: 93Madeline Charlton

"Yes , darling . Our cherub has invited that awful tiger round for tea again! "

18/05/19 11:54:21

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4294Kenny Ireland

"Hello Doctor. My constipation problem is now OK."

18/05/19 9:35:48

 
Zak Toby1998 Vote score: 533Zak Toby1998

"Darling I have someth..."
...
...
'Brenda why the big pause?"

18/05/19 8:37:38

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 4744Dave Bryan

The clubhouse had two windows until Tiger made a hole in one.

18/05/19 8:27:22

 1
stone face Vote score: 4511stone face

"Hello, you know when you said I'd won a personal visit from tiger,I thought you meant the golfer."

18/05/19 8:23:40

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2373James Lennox

"Christopher Robin? Get your arse over here right now!"

18/05/19 8:23:04

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2373James Lennox

"Phone company? My line is playing up."

"We'd love to help Mam, but that's not a lion."

18/05/19 8:15:35

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 4744Dave Bryan

''Yes, he's got rid of the mouse.''

18/05/19 8:02:30

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 36380Welsh Rarebit

The tiger who came to tea.

18/05/19 8:00:14

 
John  Glover Vote score: 19189John Glover

"Help, a tiger has just jumped through my kitchen window and run upstairs and is now in my toilet."
"Don't worry madam, it's probably just looking for Pooh."

18/05/19 14:11:00

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 36380Welsh Rarebit

"Hello police... there's a python curled up on my cupboard!"

18/05/19 12:23:04

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 946Scrappy Doo

On second thought, let's not have Frosted Flakes.

18/05/19 10:30:38

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 20816Ian Skelding

A paw line

18/05/19 10:09:49

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 5512Glyn Evans

"I want to complain. Now the first thing is that you sent me a tiger instead of a window cleaner. This tiger does not clean windows at all, it prefers dishes.."

18/05/19 9:46:27

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 5512Glyn Evans

A Frostie Reception

18/05/19 9:35:10

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12689Dan Nicholls

Honestly Janet, every time I open a packet of zebra meat...

18/05/19 8:55:02

 
Joe Vote score: 1594Joe

Hello, Is that Mrs Wilson? I’m sorry to say that Hercules has failed the audition to be the new Grumpy Cat

18/05/19 8:43:13

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4294Kenny Ireland

Kitchen sink drama.

18/05/19 8:34:58

 
Zak Toby1998 Vote score: 533Zak Toby1998

"Tamil call you back!"

18/05/19 8:33:34

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 6003Chris Keegan

"When I decided to tell Steve that I was having an affair, I think I may have let the cat out of the bag"

18/05/19 8:31:23

 
stone face Vote score: 4511stone face

"Hello dear, remember when you said that stuffed tiger would come in useful one day. Well I've just smashed a window in the caravan and amazingly it's a perfect fit."

18/05/19 8:27:21

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4294Kenny Ireland

Catcall.

18/05/19 8:27:09

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6875Mr Dome

And that is why you should never leave your light on and window open at night in case of tiger moths

18/05/19 8:19:18

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12689Dan Nicholls

Quick, reverse the charge

18/05/19 8:17:42

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 4744Dave Bryan

''This is the traffic division, madam. You need the law of the jungle.''

18/05/19 8:09:10

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 6003Chris Keegan

"Darling, when you said you wanted to watch the game tonight, you'd best hurry up"

18/05/19 8:06:45

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2373James Lennox

"Hello police? There's a strange man in my house taking my photo!"

18/05/19 8:03:56

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 2309Stu Dent

Police, I have just caught a cat burglar

18/05/19 8:00:38

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 2309Stu Dent

The call of the wild

18/05/19 8:00:08

 
stone face Vote score: 4511stone face

"It's ok darling, I've got a feeling the kids are going to eat their friggin' Frosties this morning."

18/05/19 8:31:59

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 6003Chris Keegan

"Yes darling, it was good to talk last night and to address the elephant in the room. But when you get in we may need another chat"

18/05/19 8:23:40

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 8669Vanessa the Guesser

"How did you get my number?"
"The Jungle Phone Book."

18/05/19 8:23:30

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2373James Lennox

"Hello police? Me again. I'm a bit worried about this tiger now."

18/05/19 8:07:55

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 5690Hercules Rockefeller

"Eenie, meenie, miney, OH!"

18/05/19 8:03:28

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 36380Welsh Rarebit

"Mmmm Frosties...they're grrrrreat!"

18/05/19 8:00:52

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 3534Stephen Bean

Homeward Bound

18/05/19 8:00:34

 
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