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Could you repeat that? Ive got a head like a sieve.
Could you repeat that? Ive got a head like a sieve. photo | portfolio
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Dave Bryan Vote score: 15020Dave Bryan

''Could you repeat that? I've got a head like a sieve.''

23/04/19 12:00:49

 2
Funny 😂  --Karen Oakenfull
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2566Trace Sarge

"Let me just check my cullender, I can fit you in on the 4th"

23/04/19 12:02:10

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6776Greg Curtis

"I like making my own inventions; and I like accounting: A LOT; and I like LONG walks on the beach, alone."

23/04/19 12:19:30

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16770Stephen Bean

"Go away! Can't you see I'm doing my captions?"

23/04/19 12:00:36

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12464The Wolf

Trying to teach Joey Essex the two times table was more difficult than expected.

23/04/19 12:00:22

 
Generic RedHead Vote score: 722Generic RedHead

Donald Trump's new member of staff.

23/04/19 16:44:53

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 2029Karen Oakenfull

“Raymond, can I have my colander back you freak. I want a divorce.”

23/04/19 13:13:21

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2566Trace Sarge

Ricky Leaks

23/04/19 12:11:36

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15020Dave Bryan

Remorse Code

Dot,
I'm sorry.
Dash!

23/04/19 12:04:30

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Morose Code

23/04/19 12:00:36

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11911Neil Mackenzie

Scientists almost gave up on this experiment, after testing 25 men to write down what popped into their heads with no external stimulation. The results were 25 blank pieces of paper. However in desperation they tested 25 women and got 30 page essays.

23/04/19 18:38:35

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11806Mr Dome

Dave was getting ready to go on a blind date. Let's face it, she'd have to be

23/04/19 12:50:33

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Training to be a colandler in a call centre is taken very seriously.

23/04/19 12:03:40

 
stone face Vote score: 9746stone face

He looks like he's really straining his mind to find the answer.

23/04/19 12:00:57

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 562Gavin Smithers

GCHQ hopes to upgrade its listening equipment soon.

23/04/19 21:19:41

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 8060Glyn Evans

"He's not military, must be a sievey."

23/04/19 20:20:54

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10355Chris Keegan

Many thanks for completing the test, our monitor clearly demonstrates that you do indeed have a brain cell. To bring your interview to a close please provide your name in joined up writing and I will be pleased to welcome you to Uber.

23/04/19 14:07:23

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21647John Glover

(I Feel it But)I Can't Explain...says Robbie Williams as he attempts to write new song lyrics.

23/04/19 12:53:04

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12464The Wolf

“Ok, how’s the patient? Has the treatment worked?”

“No Doctor, I’m sorry. We’ve electrocuted him 134 times and he still wishes to watch The Jeremy Kyle Show”

23/04/19 12:18:59

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25239Ian Skelding

John felt at ohm doing his experiments.

23/04/19 12:16:23

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15020Dave Bryan

''I'm getting a message, chief.''

''What is it?''

''Something about draining the fucking vegetables.''

23/04/19 12:15:29

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34097Tony Edwards

Brain straining

23/04/19 12:09:54

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5828Paul Reeve

Brain drain

23/04/19 12:09:39

 
Poxy Jock Vote score: 86Poxy Jock

"Renee, you have forgotten the sticks of celery" said Yvette

23/04/19 18:34:31

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24464Michael Winner

Yup- he's a witch.

23/04/19 17:29:35

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15684Dan Nicholls

"And has your lotto predicting machine paid off yet?"
"Do you think I would be in this cardigan if it had?"

23/04/19 15:25:49

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 3658Scrappy Doo

The male diaphragm is 100% effective at birth control.

23/04/19 14:43:49

 
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 5966Tosser Wivlov

Red....damn. Red...damn. Black......damn. Red.....Hooray! I told you it works!

23/04/19 14:37:22

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 3658Scrappy Doo

Benedict Cullenderbitch

23/04/19 14:24:43

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5574Kenny Ireland

"It's working better now. He has lead in his pencil".

23/04/19 12:56:51

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11806Mr Dome

He's married?? Do me a favour

23/04/19 12:45:36

 1
At least he'll never be unfaithful. --Karyn Harrison
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34097Tony Edwards

Boggles

23/04/19 12:44:17

 
Spycenwolf  Vote score: 874Spycenwolf

"So how do you like our new VR system, John?"
"It disappoints me, Mr. Anderson."

23/04/19 12:36:56

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12464The Wolf

Bright Spark

23/04/19 12:35:22

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25239Ian Skelding

Smart meter

23/04/19 12:20:57

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25239Ian Skelding

Current affairs.

23/04/19 12:18:24

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16770Stephen Bean

Tired of thinking about sex when your secretary brings you your daily cuppa or your doctor suggests you try a suppository? Free yourself from unwanted thoughts with this device for just £9,999 + VAT.

23/04/19 12:14:41

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 15330Vanessa the Guesser

"It was a bit of an impulse buy."

23/04/19 12:09:01

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10355Chris Keegan

The DVLA deny the theory test has become more difficult leading people to cheat

23/04/19 12:04:18

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

The Spy Who Sieved Me

23/04/19 12:01:12

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10355Chris Keegan

A leaked photo suggests Theresa May is now successfully gaining support within her party and they WILL now vote for her.

23/04/19 12:00:31

 
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