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Mother on law
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Stephen Bean Vote score: 1913Stephen Bean

Mother on law

12/04/19 12:05:07

 
stone face Vote score: 3457stone face

" I've got another dead Brexiteer Sarg. It's a shame half these people won't be around to see the shitfest they've left for the younger generation."

12/04/19 12:56:22

 3
The only shitfest in this country is the shower in the House of Commons. --Neil Mackenzie
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 34632Welsh Rarebit

Cardiac Arrest

12/04/19 12:00:05

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 21299Michael Winner

Due to cutbacks in council and police funding, riot shields are to be replaced with librarians.

12/04/19 13:16:54

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 4807Chris Keegan

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz - Cars

12/04/19 12:00:21

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 3240Dave Bryan

''There's some dodgy paracetamol going round the site, sarge.''

12/04/19 12:25:28

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6150Mr Dome

You can buy anything at a car boot sale these days

12/04/19 12:05:35

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 3240Dave Bryan

''I'm going to have to hold you for questioning, madam.''

12/04/19 12:02:28

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 530Scrappy Doo

She ain't heavy, she's my grandmother.

12/04/19 13:07:07

 
stone face Vote score: 3457stone face

"I've rescued the woman from the abusive household. Apparently she was given a dog's life by her husband for years.
What's that Sarge? am I going to bring her in?
No..no I was just going to put her back in her kennel."

12/04/19 13:03:45

 
Madeline Charlton Vote score: 18Madeline Charlton

"Ello,ello, sarge , just bagged meself a bargain at the boot fair . Yep ,another OAP special!"

13/04/19 11:49:03

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 8925Neil Mackenzie

We can’t let these retired teachers visit their old schools anymore Sarge. When they ask the pupils which is greater 51.9% or 48.1% they get the answer wrong but then demand a second go at the question.

12/04/19 17:29:29

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 3836Vivvy En

Gladys often passed out at the smell of bacon

12/04/19 17:03:31

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 7407Vanessa the Guesser

Laura Norder

12/04/19 13:25:25

 
John  Glover Vote score: 18511John Glover

The young handsome policeman had unfortunately picked her up badly and his hand was caught between her legs and on her crotch. Sharon was going to pretend to be unconcious for as long as she possibly could.

12/04/19 13:18:37

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 4807Chris Keegan

"I've got another Sarg, I'll dump her on top of the other remainers"

12/04/19 12:32:03

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 20158Ian Skelding

"She's copped it."

12/04/19 12:26:40

 
The Wolf Vote score: 1501The Wolf

"What the hell is going on over there Dave?"
"I'm not sure to be honest, all I can see is a drunk woman with no knickers on and some constable"

12/04/19 12:20:00

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6150Mr Dome

Revellers in Newcastle found dying from heat exhaustion

12/04/19 12:03:12

 
Molly R Vote score: 770Molly R

It was Help Yourself Day at the Glastonbury Festival.

12/04/19 12:03:01

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 28650Tony Edwards

Carry On Constable

12/04/19 12:01:25

 
Joe Vote score: 1356Joe

PC gone mad

14/04/19 20:46:23

 
Phoenix Vote score: 1192Phoenix

Serg. I've got the Prime Minister here...looks like Corbyn must have agreed something with her.

14/04/19 7:59:07

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4036Kenny Ireland

"Excuse me Mr. West".

13/04/19 10:01:14

 
C Jeffery C Jeffery

Shitty takeaway .... I said I wanted a naan bread, not me nan dead!!

13/04/19 8:14:25

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 21299Michael Winner

"Klaatu Barada Nikto."

12/04/19 22:10:58

 
Poxy Jock Vote score: 12Poxy Jock

Sarge, you may want to send some paramedics to the mosh pit at the James Last concert

12/04/19 18:51:37

 
larry G. Vote score: 1114larry G.

Jane fainted when she viewed the gas prices in Los Angeles.

12/04/19 16:54:13

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 341Sam Cass

Ladykiller.

12/04/19 16:44:12

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 341Sam Cass

Female suicide on the rise after word got out that the Grim Reaper's dashing son Jeff had taken over his role.

12/04/19 16:42:21

 
  Smuldo Vote score: 10577 Smuldo

Passing out parade.

12/04/19 14:38:04

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 530Scrappy Doo

Cop a feel, the Cosby way.

12/04/19 13:07:34

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 3836Vivvy En

"Sarge, I've picked up another Gulliver captioneer"

12/04/19 13:00:11

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 20158Ian Skelding

"She died from a cuffing fit."

12/04/19 12:30:27

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 28650Tony Edwards

The Hold Bill.

12/04/19 12:24:19

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 1913Stephen Bean

PC support

12/04/19 12:19:45

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 4807Chris Keegan

Sleeping Policeman

12/04/19 12:04:19

 
Mark England Vote score: 14459Mark England

Maude fainted when old bill showed her his truncheon

12/04/19 12:03:10

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 2011Karyn Harrison

Gillian McKeith swoons at the sight of PC Plod's truncheon.

12/04/19 12:02:19

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 1913Stephen Bean

She only has to look at a police officer and her head goes fuzzy.

12/04/19 12:01:06

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 1913Stephen Bean

The strong arms of the law

12/04/19 12:00:04

 
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