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Forgive me father for I have strimmed
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Mr Dome  Vote score: 6299Mr Dome

Forgive me father for I have strimmed

09/03/19 8:04:07

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 3597Dave Bryan

Forlawn mower

09/03/19 8:00:11

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 1660Crunchy Chords
Forgive me father for I have strimmed

09/03/19 15:41:39

 
The Wolf Vote score: 1897The Wolf

Hello mate. Just a bit bored so I thought I'd send you a text. How's life in the countryside since the move? Enjoying your big house and land? Jammy bugger! Anyway London's not the same without you mate. Have to go now and water my window box. Take care.

09/03/19 9:14:20

 
stone face Vote score: 3693stone face

"Oh you've finished the lawn! Gracias Pedro."

"Gracias, grassy knees, grassy feet sir."

09/03/19 9:11:36

 
John  Glover Vote score: 18698John Glover

"You can stop now darling, silly me, I didn't drop the ring outside, it was in my jewellery box all the time."

09/03/19 10:57:29

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 1626Stu Dent

When it just gets to mulch

09/03/19 8:06:38

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 1995Trace Sarge

The Lawn's Prayer

09/03/19 15:00:18

 
John  Glover Vote score: 18698John Glover

"I've promised that lovely little old lady next door, that you'll cut her paddock as soon as you've finished ours."

09/03/19 12:52:09

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6299Mr Dome

I'm still half cut

09/03/19 8:07:16

 
Dot Old Vote score: 455Dot Old

The Lone Park Ranger

09/03/19 8:34:02

 
stone face Vote score: 3693stone face

"Dear God, why didn't someone let me know this is a bloody petrol mower."

09/03/19 8:07:26

 
Anthony Smith Vote score: 61Anthony Smith

"I feel like banging my head against a brick wall!"
"Damn, there aren't any around here!"

09/03/19 8:45:40

 
Anthony Smith Vote score: 61Anthony Smith

"TOO SHORT" they said...

09/03/19 8:42:42

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 2276Stephen Bean

Marvin suddenly remembered his wife had promised him sex if he came home without any grass stains on his trousers.

09/03/19 8:33:26

 
The Wolf Vote score: 1897The Wolf

"Martin, it's Sue from the agency, are you still looking for work? I've got something here. Gardener required to cover Hectare"

"Thanks Sue that's great. Yeah I don't mind covering for Hector if he's not very well. When do I start?"

09/03/19 8:27:22

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 3597Dave Bryan

Running on empty

09/03/19 8:14:32

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5199Chris Keegan

"I think the new gardener may be finding it turf"

09/03/19 8:00:11

 
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 5511Tosser Wivlov

Much less bova than jehovah.

09/03/19 21:31:46

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4121Kenny Ireland

Praying for mower.

09/03/19 20:16:44

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 8991Neil Mackenzie

It had been an extra £20 for the grass box, now Angus regretted not parting with it.

09/03/19 17:37:43

 
Lawrence Day Vote score: 393Lawrence Day

Why did i pee in the fuel tank last night when i was half cut, and could not get into house.

09/03/19 12:03:50

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 2276Stephen Bean

Someone grassed him up

09/03/19 9:08:10

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5199Chris Keegan

Steve just broke down. I knew he was close to the edge.

09/03/19 9:04:43

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 2125Karyn Harrison

It would've been much less bovver with a Hover.

09/03/19 8:58:05

 
Anthony Smith Vote score: 61Anthony Smith

"Now pick up all the trimmings if you want to get paid!" they said.

09/03/19 8:57:25

 
Anthony Smith Vote score: 61Anthony Smith

Trust me to get the wrong field!!

09/03/19 8:54:59

 
Anthony Smith Vote score: 61Anthony Smith

"Im gonna need a bigger mower!"
"The type that you sit on - looks like a quad bike!"
"This is ridiculous - I'm not working for £5 a hectare any more!!"

09/03/19 8:41:28

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 35122Welsh Rarebit

"Ah Grass lopper.."

09/03/19 8:24:12

 
The Wolf Vote score: 1897The Wolf

"Are you ok Dave? Have you taken grass?"

09/03/19 8:20:10

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12169Dan Nicholls

Blade Ruiner

09/03/19 8:13:33

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12169Dan Nicholls

Mow-hammered

09/03/19 8:12:37

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 3928Vivvy En

"♪ Spare us the cutter" echoed the bunnies

09/03/19 8:10:00

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6299Mr Dome

That's a massive garden - almost the size of a prayrie

09/03/19 8:08:11

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6299Mr Dome

Why did I think Sambuca was a good idea??

09/03/19 8:06:55

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 3597Dave Bryan

The (too) Constant Gardener

09/03/19 8:04:20

 
Molly R Vote score: 777Molly R

"Please, God, please, show me a better way to shave my legs."

09/03/19 8:03:34

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5199Chris Keegan

I'm sorry, Pete has to go, he's just not cutting it anymore.

09/03/19 8:02:27

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Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 5413Hercules Rockefeller

"Working yard or yardly working?"

09/03/19 8:01:12

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 7726Vanessa the Guesser

Fly-Mo Farah

09/03/19 8:00:50

 
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