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"My wife desserted me."
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Stephen Bean Vote score: 2262Stephen Bean

"My wife desserted me."

03/04/19 23:12:48

 1
And the worst was the cherry. --Scrappy Doo
The Wolf Vote score: 1864The Wolf

nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana Fatman

03/04/19 20:13:25

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 5412Hercules Rockefeller

Antonio Bananas

03/04/19 20:05:29

 
Molly R Vote score: 773Molly R

"That's the last time I carry my toddler on my shoulders."

03/04/19 20:00:21

 2
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 7711Vanessa the Guesser

"These imported Nicorette patches are crap."

03/04/19 20:04:05

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 2262Stephen Bean

The Yolker

03/04/19 23:19:24

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 35086Welsh Rarebit

Jeff has a banana split personality.

03/04/19 20:00:47

 
The Wolf Vote score: 1864The Wolf

2-week holiday to Spain, day 2

03/04/19 20:00:08

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 846Karen Oakenfull

Sadly his mum didn’t have him vaccinated as a baby.

04/04/19 15:20:55

 
James Lennox Vote score: 1423James Lennox

"My grandkids tell me it's a cure for sunburn ... but come to think of it, my grandkids are horrible little shits."

04/04/19 4:20:49

 
larry G. Vote score: 1139larry G.

"Sunblock for delicate fat skin."

04/04/19 21:35:38

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 1985Trace Sarge

"Everyone's A Fruit and Nut Case"

04/04/19 17:22:27

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 8981Neil Mackenzie

He was in the Dessert Rats.

04/04/19 11:14:13

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 21442Michael Winner

His doctor was clear about this- "Mr Bradshaw, you really do need to eat more sensibly."

04/04/19 9:24:52

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 596Scrappy Doo

Good Heavens! That's not sour cream!

04/04/19 1:59:35

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 596Scrappy Doo

This one weird trick is guaranteed to get you laid!

04/04/19 1:53:27

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 35086Welsh Rarebit

Banana yonkurt

03/04/19 21:39:48

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 5472Greg Curtis

“Want a banana – it’s on me?”

03/04/19 21:30:03

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6278Mr Dome

Fruits a lad

03/04/19 20:59:21

 
John  Glover Vote score: 18697John Glover

Policeman: "Can you describe your attackers sir?"
Victim: "No, but there was a bunch of them and they went bananas."

03/04/19 20:57:18

 
John  Glover Vote score: 18697John Glover

"It's your own fault Bill, you should have given the kids their pocket money before you fell asleep."

03/04/19 20:53:46

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 28965Tony Edwards

Too much Sunny Delight, banana flavour.

03/04/19 20:53:06

 
James Lennox Vote score: 1423James Lennox

When his wife kicked him out, Mike went to stay at a friend's ...
"It's OK Mike. Make yourself at home. There's the TV for entertainment and fruit and yogurt if you get hungry."
Later that day ...
"Hey Mike, have you seen the TV?"

03/04/19 20:43:16

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 20327Ian Skelding

Zoo accused of animal cruelty after leaving Guy the Gorilla in the Sun so long his fur burnt off.

03/04/19 20:41:36

 
stone face Vote score: 3663stone face

Locals blame global warming after this Glaswegian experiences one day of sunshine for the first time in his life.

03/04/19 20:32:25

 
Spycenwolf  Vote score: 698Spycenwolf

He got a plague for his retirement.

03/04/19 20:30:29

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 3576Dave Bryan

''Please don't give me any more bananas. I don't want to peel.''

03/04/19 20:30:02

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 28965Tony Edwards

Fatlard

03/04/19 20:25:13

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 20327Ian Skelding

Banana spilt

03/04/19 20:23:13

 
stone face Vote score: 3663stone face

Celebrity chef Tom Kerridge found out the hard way that Gregg Wallace hates bananas and cream pudding.

03/04/19 20:21:49

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 1985Trace Sarge

Burnt to a crisp

03/04/19 20:16:35

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 7711Vanessa the Guesser

He'll live to a ripe old age.

03/04/19 20:12:03

 
Madeline Charlton Vote score: 36Madeline Charlton

"Aw Dave , I take it the audition for X Men's The Thing didn't go too well then..."

03/04/19 20:11:01

 
James Lennox Vote score: 1423James Lennox

There's a good reason this photo spent 18 months in the unwanted pile.

03/04/19 20:05:36

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 1620Stu Dent

Brits are Bored

03/04/19 20:03:19

 
The Wolf Vote score: 1864The Wolf

Thomas Cooked

03/04/19 20:03:16

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 3576Dave Bryan

Poetry In Lotion

03/04/19 20:02:58

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 1656Crunchy Chords

Banana-cream Guy

03/04/19 20:01:48

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 3576Dave Bryan

''In future could eunuch before entering.''

03/04/19 20:01:37

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 2125Karyn Harrison

The Minging Defective

03/04/19 20:01:21

 
Poxy Jock Vote score: 24Poxy Jock

Bert wasn't too sure about the fried egg cure for his psoriasis

03/04/19 20:00:57

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 1620Stu Dent

Fruit on the loon

03/04/19 20:00:47

 
The Wolf Vote score: 1864The Wolf

The male on sun day

03/04/19 20:00:38

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 35086Welsh Rarebit

Rob loves to cream himself.

03/04/19 20:00:19

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 35086Welsh Rarebit

Allergic reactions can result in a person coming out in Ffyfes.

03/04/19 20:00:07

 
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