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"Mate we’ve been on this green diet of yours for ages now and we’re still fat as f**k."
"Mate we’ve been on this green diet of yours for ages now and we’re still fat as f**k." photo | portfolio
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Funny Bean Vote score: 3083Funny Bean

"Mate we’ve been on this green diet of yours for ages now and we’re still fat as f**k."

04/02/19 11:01:14

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 4893Paul Reeve

“I told you Edinburgh was bloody cold.”

04/02/19 8:37:45

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 4320Dave Bryan

Black Eyed Ps

04/02/19 8:03:42

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5762Chris Keegan

"No love, I'm genuinely pleased you took up knitting, I just thought you may want to experiment with a few colours"

04/02/19 8:02:55

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 4320Dave Bryan

''Why did you leave Sooty?''

''He was a bit of a handful.''

04/02/19 8:08:39

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 4199Vivvy En

"All aboard The Panda Express - next stop Beijing. Toot! Toot!"

04/02/19 8:06:43

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 901Karen Oakenfull

“This is harder than untangling the bloody Christmas lights.”

04/02/19 13:33:00

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 2125Karyn Harrison

"Can you fasten me up darling?"

04/02/19 9:09:59

 
stone face Vote score: 4283stone face

"Do your balls get really sweaty in this bear costume?"

"What bear costume?"

04/02/19 8:52:38

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 35998Welsh Rarebit

Eats, shoots and weaves

04/02/19 8:49:27

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 4320Dave Bryan

Pandamonium

04/02/19 8:13:40

 
Cheryl Roberts Cheryl Roberts

I told you that you'd fall over and get black eyes after too many beers.

05/02/19 20:12:47

 
G fj Vote score: 482G fj

"You know Mimi this sitting in the snow isn't working for me, the only parts that don't have fur are freezing!"

04/02/19 16:26:52

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 594Sam Cass

"Hey, Eddie! Look, my bamboo's bigger than yours!"

04/02/19 14:34:43

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 594Sam Cass

"Seriously, honey. He was huge and black all over. Liked honey. Really liked honey."

04/02/19 14:33:50

 
Barrie Bullock Vote score: 426Barrie Bullock

Moan, moan, moan your're panda moaning all day.

04/02/19 14:06:58

 
John  Glover Vote score: 19047John Glover

"Giant Panda, heh, shame it doesn't include your todger."

04/02/19 12:49:55

 
GeeDee Vote score: 2672GeeDee

What are you looking for??
The necessities silly!!!

04/02/19 10:38:44

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 2125Karyn Harrison

"To be honest Linda, I'm getting a bit fed up with all this bamboo. I'm going to put in a request for some of those deep-fried Mars Bars they eat a lot of here."

04/02/19 9:39:04

 
Tracey Sarge Vote score: 2444Tracey Sarge

No place like clone

04/02/19 9:29:07

 
GeeDee Vote score: 2672GeeDee

Shhhh, they will n ever see us here

04/02/19 8:53:22

 
Spycenwolf  Vote score: 869Spycenwolf

"I'm glad you're trying to help, mate, but what I need is an ambulance, not a bamboo lance."

04/02/19 8:53:03

 
stone face Vote score: 4283stone face

"I only agreed to come to this zoo because you said they'd panda my every whim."

04/02/19 8:51:31

 
stone face Vote score: 4283stone face

"Fancy a shag."

04/02/19 8:50:05

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 2125Karyn Harrison

"You scratch my black, I'll scratch yours."

04/02/19 8:47:21

 
The Wolf Vote score: 2771The Wolf

"Children I know you're excited that it's been snowing this weekend, but did you really have to paint the dogs"

04/02/19 8:46:57

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12550Dan Nicholls

Chi Li and Sno Wi.

04/02/19 8:39:02

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12550Dan Nicholls

"How do they expect us to mate when we are both fellas?"
"Dunno, it's bamboozled me."

04/02/19 8:37:43

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12550Dan Nicholls

Sisters sledge

04/02/19 8:36:31

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 5458Glyn Evans

"Oh yeah, that hits the spot."

04/02/19 8:25:12

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2074James Lennox

This is an embarrassment.

04/02/19 8:15:15

 4
Collective noun I think. --Dot Old
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 8305Vanessa the Guesser

"Who the hell signed us up for this wrestling malarkey?"

04/02/19 8:12:12

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 20682Ian Skelding

"How long is it going to take to build this shelter?"

04/02/19 8:10:29

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 2111Stu Dent

You turn you back on me again and you'll have another black eye

04/02/19 8:08:51

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2074James Lennox

Fact: Due to the panda's low sex drive Chinese scientists tried to promote sexual interaction by showing them panda porn.

Caption: The audience clapped and laughed, but failed to get it on.

04/02/19 8:03:15

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 5633Hercules Rockefeller

"Blech! This doesn't taste like bamboo at all."

04/02/19 8:03:11

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 2111Stu Dent

♪ oops upside your head ♪

04/02/19 8:02:24

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 9198Neil Mackenzie

Darling do you fancy eating anything else apart from bamboo?
Like what?
How about a Twix.

04/02/19 8:02:06

 1
Black or white? --James Lennox
The Wolf Vote score: 2771The Wolf

"I really hate this job"

"Me too. I wish they'd just tell people visiting the Zoo that the Panda's have died"

04/02/19 8:01:52

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 1771Crunchy Chords

“One bleeding typo and now I'm a gun-obsessed joke doing a runner.”

04/02/19 8:00:26

 1
The Wolf Vote score: 2771The Wolf

"I know Bamboo can get a bit repetitive love but it could be worse, In the tropics, they eat a plant called Pandanus"

04/02/19 8:00:09

 
Molly R Vote score: 901Molly R

"I guess it's really time we had a bath."

04/02/19 8:00:05

 
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