Nice legs shame about the place

27/11/18 9:25:08

If she had a clue perhaps Theresa May wouldn’t be in over her head.

27/11/18 10:36:26

Ever since I gave Pete those waterproof earphones he won't stop playing The bloody Village People.

27/11/18 10:24:37

Straddling pool

27/11/18 9:27:32

Diving head first into the paddling pool wasn't the smartest move Dave had ever done.

27/11/18 8:03:49

That must be the Gynaecologist's wife in their pool.

27/11/18 8:49:37

"Very lucky, his head was just the right size to use until the new plug gets delivered."

27/11/18 8:14:04

When we eventually met Gary was nothing like his profile photo

27/11/18 8:13:24

Celia hadn't realised her synchronised swimming partner had pissed off

27/11/18 8:02:22

Legs eleven.

27/11/18 8:00:16

If he really wants to learn how to swim he needs to get his feet wet.

28/11/18 10:33:00

The things some people do to hide from the taxman.

27/11/18 17:19:48

"just got a pedicure-drying my toenails."

27/11/18 16:57:26

"I need to talk to you Tony, the concrete block should be attached to the feet, capeesh?"

27/11/18 11:43:38

Always be careful how you answer when your wife asks, "Does my bum look big in this?"

27/11/18 9:48:56

Dead ringer

27/11/18 9:24:01

"When Billy asked me if we'd get any sunny weather,and I said don't hold your breath. I didn't mean literally."

27/11/18 9:06:14

Paris Hilton just loves her new swim mirror.

27/11/18 8:58:27

Single's holiday

27/11/18 8:54:47

Dave never really appreciated that synchronised swimming is a team sport.

27/11/18 8:54:18

Tom Daley won't make the same mistake of diving into the shallow end again.

27/11/18 8:49:18

''These grill fences are great for getting rid of dead skin off your feet.''

27/11/18 8:45:21

"Oh, he's definitely doing a stroke alright."

27/11/18 8:32:21

Before swimming, check for crocodiles.

27/11/18 8:30:03

Pose for a caption, No problem I can do that standing on my head.

27/11/18 8:25:27

Dave, Lottery winner, says he'd go back to his old lifestyle for two pins.

27/11/18 8:21:00

Inverted ripples

27/11/18 8:19:21

"I told her not to take her mobile phone into the pool!"

27/11/18 8:07:20

“Morning Mr Baumgartner ...nice of you to drop in”

27/11/18 8:06:29

Upside-down lake

27/11/18 8:05:20

It was a smart move, especially as the house was on fire.

27/11/18 8:04:25

''Looks like your dad's gone off the deep end again.''

27/11/18 8:03:56

It's important to maintain good fluid balance on holiday.

27/11/18 8:00:05