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Charles Gleason Vote score: 834Charles Gleason

"Take me to your ladder"

10/10/18 8:16:53

stone face Vote score: 3909stone face

"Excuse me son,could you tell me the nearest place where I could buy a lettuce?"
" Sorry love, am more of a rocket man."

10/10/18 8:03:25

stone face Vote score: 3909stone face

NASA now admit they underestimated the gravitational effects of their recent Mars voyage.

10/10/18 8:00:52

Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 35490Welsh Rarebit

War-wick of the Worlds

10/10/18 8:19:28

Adrian Purcell Vote score: 17Adrian Purcell

Don't be alarmed. It's just a fetish.

11/10/18 1:23:13

Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

OAP: "U FO."

10/10/18 8:56:29

larry G. Vote score: 1201larry G.

"I'm playing it safe-the whole town has the flu!"

11/10/18 18:14:03

Sam Cass Vote score: 519Sam Cass

There's little to see here.

10/10/18 12:02:03

Glyn Evans Vote score: 5402Glyn Evans

"Where am I?" she thought after jumping out of the manhole. Everything seemed unfamiliar, there was no giggling face on the sun, no rabbits or green hills. Po groaned "I must have really gone overboard on the Tubby custard last night."

10/10/18 9:08:35

Chris Keegan Vote score: 5514Chris Keegan

Doctors say it's the worst case of incontinence they've ever seen.

10/10/18 8:57:40

Tony Edwards Vote score: 29161Tony Edwards

"What's up sonny? Can't you remember where you parked your UFO?"

10/10/18 8:53:34

Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 35490Welsh Rarebit

Dread Dwarf

10/10/18 8:19:43

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 7944Vanessa the Guesser

A visitor from Pluto, the dwarf planet.

10/10/18 8:14:34

Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12320Dan Nicholls

"I am NOT overprotective, there are exhaust fumes and cigarette smoke out there and this is the only way he can go to school safely. It's also bully repellent, which is lucky..."

10/10/18 8:06:18

Dave Bryan Vote score: 3866Dave Bryan

''Are you Little Rocket Man?''

10/10/18 8:04:54

Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12320Dan Nicholls

Warwick Davis auditioned for the part of a rebel pilot in Return of the Jedi, but as we all know, was born to play an ewok.

10/10/18 8:03:21

Chris Keegan Vote score: 5514Chris Keegan

The cost of being a celebrity. Tom Cruise pops out for a pint of milk.

10/10/18 8:01:57

Molly R Vote score: 863Molly R

He had made only a slight error in his time machine calculations.

10/10/18 8:00:31

John  Glover Vote score: 18814John Glover

"Please don't light that yet, I've just had a massive fart in my suit."

10/10/18 12:52:36

Carey Sutton Vote score: 514Carey Sutton

Mr pepperpot

10/10/18 11:56:28

Michael Winner Vote score: 21555Michael Winner

*thinks* "I need to work on the landing..."

10/10/18 11:53:44

Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

Woman: "I was a Beatnik. Are you a Sputnik? Show me your willie. Is it green? Like a big cucumber, I bet. Wanna come back to my place? I've satellite TV, you know."

10/10/18 9:58:42

G fj Vote score: 482G fj

Yes, that's how far he threw me...

10/10/18 9:02:55

Dave Bryan Vote score: 3866Dave Bryan

''A hundred dollars for half an hour! What planet are you living on?''

10/10/18 8:11:47

Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12320Dan Nicholls

Have you been down there recently? Right little dive it is.

10/10/18 8:00:18

Funny Bean Vote score: 2539Funny Bean

The first Oompa Loompa to arrive on Earth went straight to Thorntons.

10/10/18 8:00:08

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