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"Take me to your ladder"
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Charles Gleason Vote score: 484Charles Gleason

"Take me to your ladder"

Wed 8:16:53

 
stone face Vote score: 1564stone face

"Excuse me son,could you tell me the nearest place where I could buy a lettuce?"
" Sorry love, am more of a rocket man."

Wed 8:03:25

 
stone face Vote score: 1564stone face

NASA now admit they underestimated the gravitational effects of their recent Mars voyage.

Wed 8:00:52

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 32210Welsh Rarebit

War-wick of the Worlds

Wed 8:19:28

 
Adrian Purcell Adrian Purcell

Don't be alarmed. It's just a fetish.

Thu 1:23:13

 
Pete  Vote score: 18532Pete

OAP: "U FO."

Wed 8:56:29

 
larry G. Vote score: 1045larry G.

"I'm playing it safe-the whole town has the flu!"

Thu 18:14:03

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 75Sam Cass

There's little to see here.

Wed 12:02:03

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 4804Glyn Evans

"Where am I?" she thought after jumping out of the manhole. Everything seemed unfamiliar, there was no giggling face on the sun, no rabbits or green hills. Po groaned "I must have really gone overboard on the Tubby custard last night."

Wed 9:08:35

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 2629Chris Keegan

Doctors say it's the worst case of incontinence they've ever seen.

Wed 8:57:40

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 26903Tony Edwards

"What's up sonny? Can't you remember where you parked your UFO?"

Wed 8:53:34

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 32210Welsh Rarebit

Dread Dwarf

Wed 8:19:43

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 6097Vanessa the Guesser

A visitor from Pluto, the dwarf planet.

Wed 8:14:34

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 10742Dan Nicholls

"I am NOT overprotective, there are exhaust fumes and cigarette smoke out there and this is the only way he can go to school safely. It's also bully repellent, which is lucky..."

Wed 8:06:18

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 1558Dave Bryan

''Are you Little Rocket Man?''

Wed 8:04:54

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 10742Dan Nicholls

Warwick Davis auditioned for the part of a rebel pilot in Return of the Jedi, but as we all know, was born to play an ewok.

Wed 8:03:21

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 2629Chris Keegan

The cost of being a celebrity. Tom Cruise pops out for a pint of milk.

Wed 8:01:57

 
Molly R Vote score: 127Molly R

He had made only a slight error in his time machine calculations.

Wed 8:00:31

 
John  Glover Vote score: 17691John Glover

"Please don't light that yet, I've just had a massive fart in my suit."

Wed 12:52:36

 
Carey Sutton Vote score: 305Carey Sutton

Mr pepperpot

Wed 11:56:28

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 20780Michael Winner

*thinks* "I need to work on the landing..."

Wed 11:53:44

 
Pete  Vote score: 18532Pete

Woman: "I was a Beatnik. Are you a Sputnik? Show me your willie. Is it green? Like a big cucumber, I bet. Wanna come back to my place? I've satellite TV, you know."

Wed 9:58:42

 
G fj Vote score: 402G fj

Yes, that's how far he threw me...

Wed 9:02:55

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 1558Dave Bryan

''A hundred dollars for half an hour! What planet are you living on?''

Wed 8:11:47

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 10742Dan Nicholls

Have you been down there recently? Right little dive it is.

Wed 8:00:18

 
Funny Bean Vote score: 116Funny Bean

The first Oompa Loompa to arrive on Earth went straight to Thorntons.

Wed 8:00:08

 
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