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" I told you before we got on the plane, to just give him the fuckin bread."
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stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

" I told you before we got on the plane, to just give him the fuckin bread."

05/08/18 8:40:54

Chris Keegan Vote score: 12573Chris Keegan

Peeking Duck

05/08/18 7:00:11

Michael Winner Vote score: 25610Michael Winner

Anatidaephobia: the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.

05/08/18 7:11:13

Pussy Galore Vote score: 7065Pussy Galore

Now showing in theatres everywhere: Drakes on a Plane.

05/08/18 10:18:46

Ian Skelding Vote score: 29475Ian Skelding

"We need to land and find the nearest pond."
"Why, what is it?"
"It's a small body of still water formed naturally or by artificial means but that's not important right now."

05/08/18 8:17:44

"Captain, how soon can you land?" "I can't tell." "You can tell me. I'm a doctor." "No. I mean I'm just not sure." "Well, can't you take a guess?" "Well, not for another tw... --Crunchy Chords
Dave Bryan Vote score: 23578Dave Bryan

Bird on the wing

05/08/18 7:00:15

Michael Winner Vote score: 25610Michael Winner

"Oh yeah? Buddy, we're both flying south, you've paid $900 for no legroom and bad food whilst seated next to a 20 stone lady with a screaming baby but somehow I'M the crazy one?"

05/08/18 7:14:50

stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

Judge-"You said you started smashing up the plane because you saw a duck on the wing.This is the second time you've used that excuse.Are you obsessed with ducks ,young man."

"No mallard."

05/08/18 8:37:34

Leroy Brown Vote score: 8087Leroy Brown

Is it a bird, is it a plane no it's...er well actually it's both.

05/08/18 8:25:23

Ian Skelding Vote score: 29475Ian Skelding

"Duck!"
"I know, I can see it."
"No, I mean 'duck', there's a case falling out of the lugg ... too late."

05/08/18 8:20:45

Dave Bryan Vote score: 23578Dave Bryan

Ryanair economy class passenger

05/08/18 7:16:04

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