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“Thanks for pushing them back in Carl. It’s a bloody nightmare playing football with Haemorrhoids”
“Thanks for pushing them back in Carl. It’s a bloody nightmare playing football with Haemorrhoids” photo | portfolio
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The Wolf Vote score: 5378The Wolf

“Thanks for pushing them back in Carl. It’s a bloody nightmare playing football with Haemorrhoids”

04/09/19 19:00:51

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 5973Stephen Bean

Football is a genital man's game.

04/09/19 19:09:16

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 9951Vanessa the Guesser

"Don't bend it like Beckham!"

04/09/19 19:08:59

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 5973Stephen Bean

"He learnt to play with subbutteo."

04/09/19 19:34:08

 
Anna Caddy Vote score: 309Anna Caddy

Doctor Jones knew the only way to get Dave to undergo a rectal examination was to catch him unawares. The real centre half was bound and gagged, tied to the bench in the dressing room

04/09/19 19:33:13

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 9705Neil Mackenzie

New Chelsea signing Ivor Ripabollockoff

04/09/19 19:31:17

 
James Lennox Vote score: 3984James Lennox

"Aww Ref!"

"Funny, it was 'Ooo Jeff' last night."

04/09/19 19:07:48

 
The Wolf Vote score: 5378The Wolf

Tactics are being questioned at the football club after Vinnie Jones takes over as head coach...

04/09/19 19:06:43

 
stone face Vote score: 6238stone face

"He's made a right fist of that tackle, Jeff."

"I think you'll find it was his left fist, Thommo."

04/09/19 20:00:45

 
John  Glover Vote score: 19769John Glover

"Huh, so you're the bastard who nicked my banana from the changing room."

04/09/19 19:51:31

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 5973Stephen Bean

"Mate, I thought we'd go on a date first."

"Sorry, I've always been a bit forward."

04/09/19 19:18:03

 
larry G. Vote score: 1411larry G.

"Sorry, wrong ball."

04/09/19 19:52:56

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 9951Vanessa the Guesser

"Great tackle!"

04/09/19 19:01:38

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 2564Crunchy Chords

Some of the lads hated going to the doctor, so the coach arranged a clever on-the-pitch "accidental" prostate exam.

04/09/19 19:00:12

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 5973Stephen Bean

"HANDBALL!!!"

04/09/19 19:00:03

 
Tiny Alien Vote score: 486Tiny Alien

Watch him, he's a grabber!

05/09/19 8:39:50

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 6715Dave Bryan

''It can't be a foul, ref. I got the ball.''

05/09/19 6:46:38

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30455Tony Edwards

Shortslifter

04/09/19 19:49:36

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 1547Scrijjy Doo

Goooooooooooooooaaaaaaaal!!

05/09/19 1:44:52

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 940Sam Cass

The top ball handler in the league.

04/09/19 22:58:51

 
Tiny Alien Vote score: 486Tiny Alien

Battling with his sexuality, Dave takes every opportunity he can to cop a feel.

04/09/19 22:30:23

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 2995Stu Dent

They don't like it up em

04/09/19 21:31:22

 
Madeline Charlton Vote score: 144Madeline Charlton

"Hey , Quentin , I told you to wait until tonight to tackle me , you saucy beast!"

04/09/19 21:04:46

 
stone face Vote score: 6238stone face

"I think that tackle calls for a VAR check."

"Why?"

"Because it's Very Arse Related."

04/09/19 20:53:56

 
  Smuldo Vote score: 11239 Smuldo

Strip Search.

04/09/19 20:33:17

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 882Willie Johnson

"Hey, give me back my hand."

04/09/19 20:27:17

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 882Willie Johnson

Practice for the football version of Swan Lake was not going well.

04/09/19 20:17:14

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 8271Mr Dome

The hand of God

04/09/19 20:15:24

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 5973Stephen Bean

"He only seems to do this sort of thing when we play on asstroturf."

04/09/19 20:14:14

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 9951Vanessa the Guesser

Rude Gullit

04/09/19 20:09:37

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 8271Mr Dome

And now for the half-time anal-ysis

04/09/19 20:09:15

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 5973Stephen Bean

Football gooliegan

04/09/19 20:01:23

 
larry G. Vote score: 1411larry G.

"Let me dislodge one more dingleberry and you'll be fine to go."

04/09/19 19:56:47

 
General Zod Vote score: 3393General Zod

"VAR is just checking to see whether he's handled it in the box."

04/09/19 19:54:55

 
James Lennox Vote score: 3984James Lennox

So, your dummy is more in proportion, but the act seems to be going downhill ... also you're white now.

(Nod 20:30:32 & 8:02:16)

04/09/19 19:43:10

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 8271Mr Dome

The penis mitre than the sword

04/09/19 19:37:55

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 8271Mr Dome

Sergio Aqueero

04/09/19 19:36:52

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30455Tony Edwards

Nutsmeg

04/09/19 19:36:30

 
James Lennox Vote score: 3984James Lennox

Angry and scared, the blue player's tattoo desperately gasps for breath.

04/09/19 19:33:57

 
Anna Caddy Vote score: 309Anna Caddy

The world’s first football ventriloquist act failed to score with the crowd

04/09/19 19:30:32

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30455Tony Edwards

The bootyful game

04/09/19 19:20:59

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38348Welsh Rarebit

And the winner of this week's Spot the Balls Competition is...

04/09/19 19:13:45

 
The Wolf Vote score: 5378The Wolf

"Eugh, gross. REF, HE'S JUST FOULED..."

04/09/19 19:11:02

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38348Welsh Rarebit

“Cough-side!”

04/09/19 19:05:29

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 3531Karyn Harrison

I think it's called an 'under and up'.

04/09/19 19:04:06

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38348Welsh Rarebit

"Penile-ty!"

04/09/19 19:01:10

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 7780Chris Keegan

Chelsea 1 arse in nil.

04/09/19 19:00:33

 
The Wolf Vote score: 5378The Wolf

FA Cup

04/09/19 19:00:13

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38348Welsh Rarebit

"Gland ball!"

04/09/19 19:00:12

 
The Wolf Vote score: 5378The Wolf

“Surely that must be a handball”

04/09/19 19:00:05

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38348Welsh Rarebit

Match of the Gay

04/09/19 19:00:04

 
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