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Who was it, darling?  Two canvassers. They wanted to know if The Workers Revolutionary Party could count on our votes.
Who was it, darling?  Two canvassers. They wanted to know if The Workers Revolutionary Party could count on our votes. photo | portfolio
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Dave Bryan Vote score: 15819Dave Bryan

''Who was it, darling?''

''Two canvassers. They wanted to know if The Workers Revolutionary Party could count on our votes.''

Sat 20:43:04

 2
"The canvassers have changed since the old days, they don't storm like they used to" --Glyn Evans
Tony S Vote score: 2804Tony S

"Believe me Cinderella it's for your own good the Prince is called Andrew."

Sat 20:39:30

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 15657Vanessa the Guesser

It's very unwise for middle-aged people to play knock and run.

Sat 20:34:44

 
Tony S Vote score: 2804Tony S

"I thought the pearly Gates would have been more impressive Hilda."
"I'm more surprised that God is a woman and would turn us away for being lesbians."

Sat 20:17:11

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3467Mark Wilson

"Quick run it's one of those Irish dancers"

Sat 22:04:58

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13282The Wolf

BREAKING NEWS. Woman born with head on back to front has successful operation to turn it around and then answers the door for the first time without freaking people out.

Sat 20:33:07

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13282The Wolf

*DING DONG*....*BANG*

"No Magic Carpet, that's naughty. It's not nice to rapidly elevate me at 30 miles per hour into a large light fitting. I'm going to end up with a bump now. Let me down at once, I'm getting sick of your practical jokes...Sorry about that, ladies, welcome to 'Rehab for people suffering from hallucinations'..."

Sat 20:23:56

 1
"Next thing you know, it will be towing a jet fighter." "Hahahaha, who would believe that." --Willie Johnson
Al Overy Vote score: 6852Al Overy

"So, you're trapped in a castle? Give me your exact location using what3words, captioneer."

"gulliver.superglue.dave"

"...OK, this is wierd. Our system says they aren't unique, captioneer. Are you sure?"

Sun 7:09:56

 2
Haha, I think I was responsible for two of those (but not the Gulliver one). I'm so proud to have ruined so many lives :) --Michael Winner
stone face Vote score: 9862stone face

Even Jehovah's Witnesses can't stand Riverdance..

Sat 22:41:43

 
Tony S Vote score: 2804Tony S

"These middle east prisons are fantastic I thought they would be hell holes, so what was it the judge said about a suspended sentence?"

"Oh yes they are going to hang us in the morning."

Sat 20:28:14

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 570Gavin Smithers

After talks well into the evening, Liz Truss concludes a trade deal with a couple from Wrexham.

Sun 18:12:00

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 8297Glyn Evans

"I'm still Jenny from the block"

Sun 7:59:32

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 12004Neil Mackenzie

Oh two ladies for the guided tour, meant they weren’t really interested in the history, they only came round to berate the cleaners.

Sun 6:55:37

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5353Lucky Elperro

"Just one more turn Del"


"Brace yourself Rodney, brace yourself".

Sat 23:38:11

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 17964Stephen Bean

"We're here to deliver William's Gran's deep fried swan."

Sat 21:52:49

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21842John Glover

"Don't forget, Aldi are doing a special, 4 cheese and chilli burgers for only £2.99."

Sat 21:26:15

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2962Willie Johnson

Mary Hinge is not accepting any more visitors.

Sat 20:51:26

 1
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25588Ian Skelding

" ...... and through the arched window we see Humpty and Big Ted."

Sat 20:28:06

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 8098Vivvy En

"Tradesperson's entrance? That's no way to talk to yer mother-in-law, yer cheeky mare! Tell him I've brought his Aunty Elsie round to sort his little problem with the leccy bill."

Sat 20:25:39

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15819Dave Bryan

''F-ck off and don't come back.''

''Hermione, could you be a little more polite to the visitors. We rely on the National Trust grant to pay the bills.''

Sat 20:17:16

 
Nina Dutton Vote score: 639Nina Dutton

“The commoners are here again Harry. Send out the dogs.”

Sat 20:15:33

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25588Ian Skelding

The Gates of Dawn.

Sat 20:07:17

 
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