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Bloody hell Steve, just buy a lawnmower.
Bloody hell Steve, just buy a lawnmower. photo | portfolio
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Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14013Dan Nicholls

Bloody hell Steve, just buy a lawnmower.

05/02/20 12:00:35

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6080Glyn Evans

There must be easier things to suck through a straw

05/02/20 12:08:34

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 3742Karyn Harrison

"I'M A POSSUM!!!"

05/02/20 12:37:28

 2
A vote for your knowledge from an idiot who thought it was a badger. --Dave Bryan
Mark Wilson Vote score: 410Mark Wilson

"You sure it's a greyhound Dave"?
"Yeah why"?
"cos he's eaten dogs 3 and 5.

05/02/20 15:37:47

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21279Ian Skelding

"Well, you did say Javelins should only be thrown outdoors."

05/02/20 12:42:05

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 3187Stu Dent

I got your mother that guide dog she need love.

05/02/20 13:59:44

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 1666Scrijjy Doo

This hedgehog is very sick.

05/02/20 16:11:49

 
stone face Vote score: 6627stone face

"I saw your husband in the park with his possum before.
Has it learnt any tricks yet?"

"Oh yeah, it's really good at playing dead."

"How did it learn that?"

"I don't know it's been doing it for years, mainly when am feeling horny."

"Ohh! Maybe it could teach his possum to do it."

05/02/20 12:44:37

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 10255Vanessa the Guesser

"Grassy ass".
"Oh - you're learning Spanish?"
"No, just an observation."

05/02/20 12:07:14

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14013Dan Nicholls

2138, interbreeding has gone haywire. This is Great Uncle MumDad.

05/02/20 12:03:25

 
The Wolf Vote score: 5827The Wolf

"YOU'RE UGLY, SMELLY AND HORRIBLE..."

"No Darren, that's not what I meant when I said we had to put him down"

05/02/20 12:01:46

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38726Welsh Rarebit

Taking one out to breed is quite easy really, because Opossumites do attract.

05/02/20 12:01:06

 
The Wolf Vote score: 5827The Wolf

“…but Dave, I got him from the rescue centre”
“I don’t care, I wanted a dog. Give me the gun…”

05/02/20 12:01:02

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38726Welsh Rarebit

"Life's a drag"

05/02/20 12:00:06

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 2697Crunchy Chords

"Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?"
"Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist."

05/02/20 21:45:49

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 990Willie Johnson

Even the shortest walks take hours. The opossum is so threatened by the leash that it plays dead. Over and over again.

05/02/20 20:39:48

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8122Chris Keegan

“You say it’s a cross breed??”
- “Yeah, bloody furious, he’s been tied up there all day”

05/02/20 15:52:06

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 5986Greg Curtis

"Okay, now lie down."

"I AM...lying down."

05/02/20 14:12:28

 
James Lennox Vote score: 4431James Lennox

Few people realise the hours of training Hillbillies dedicate to their pets. It's not easy getting a possum to sit still in front of a big rig doing 75mph.

05/02/20 13:46:34

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 8519Mr Dome

Oh. You really did say you are off to badgerbait

05/02/20 13:28:08

 
James Lennox Vote score: 4431James Lennox

Don't be afraid, this hedgehog's spineless.

05/02/20 12:39:52

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30601Tony Edwards

"Couchy coo."

05/02/20 12:31:45

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 7152Dave Bryan

''I never thought of the possumbility that it could be something other than a badger.''

05/02/20 12:17:55

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14013Dan Nicholls

"Hello is that Amazon? It's about my order. I wanted a loud and angry badge..."

05/02/20 12:15:37

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 6183Hercules Rockefeller

"I believe he's trying to tell us that he's choking."

05/02/20 12:13:17

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 7152Dave Bryan

''Chris, don't you think the viewers will notice that the badger is on a lead?''

05/02/20 12:04:32

 
Rachel P Vote score: 567Rachel P

“Wanna piece of me?”

05/02/20 12:02:20

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14013Dan Nicholls

Christ, is that what Dame Edna's been calling us all these years. What a bitch!

05/02/20 12:02:18

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 3187Stu Dent

I only need one more for the sett

05/02/20 12:00:08

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8122Chris Keegan

I bought it for the wife, she’s World Class at badgering.

05/02/20 12:00:07

 
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