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"Come on nearly there ... not far to the Shell garage now"
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John Llamas Vote score: 20016John Llamas

"Come on nearly there ... not far to the Shell garage now"

26/07/17 20:10:00

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23090Ian Skelding

What rotten luck, you hardly ever see a gritter lorry around here but here comes one now.

26/07/17 22:14:51

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15345Dan Nicholls

"Dude, why have you come as a slug?"
"I was coming as a snail, but Michelle couldn't make it".

26/07/17 22:03:34

 1
Haha, love this! :P --Chris Moorhead
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32667Tony Edwards

"Am I there yet?"

26/07/17 21:06:33

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20949John Glover

"You should know Mr Snail, that if you don't keep up your mortgage repayments, your house will be repossessed."

26/07/17 20:48:31

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20949John Glover

"I don't know why I go to these fancy dress parties, I always seem to end up with a slimebag."

26/07/17 21:04:34

 
Mark England Vote score: 17417Mark England

A scene from a lesser known Roald Dahl story..'John and the Giant Lettuce'

26/07/17 20:45:48

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5789Paul Reeve

On the way home from the pub a sluggish Steve was left trailing his mates.

26/07/17 20:27:36

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

"Cheer up Brian, let's go down the pub for a beer."

26/07/17 20:09:07

 
John Llamas Vote score: 20016John Llamas

With a ban on petrol and diesel cars forthcoming and concerns over reliability, range and charging points, Panorama takes a look into the future on Britains roads.

26/07/17 20:09:04

 
John Llamas Vote score: 20016John Llamas

Reports are coming in suggesting further drive by shootings as more slugs were found at the side of the road.

26/07/17 20:06:38

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11077Neil Mackenzie

Have you ever wondered if Snails look at Slugs and think: What can be done about the homeless?

26/07/17 20:00:10

 
Craig Eddie Vote score: 635Craig Eddie

Stick to the road

27/07/17 7:00:24

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10281Mr Dome

Dave went to the retro 70s fancy dress party as a great big space hopper and was full of excitement. Now the party is over he feels a bit deflated

26/07/17 23:42:16

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6513Vivvy En

Gary didn't think his night could get any worse till he got stuck with some prick called Johnny

26/07/17 20:19:49

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2800Jonathan Allsopp

... which reminds me, what IS the evidence that Trump did a deal with the Russians?

26/07/17 20:13:54

 
Smuldo Vote score: 11712Smuldo

"If you don't get changed soon someone is going to slug you and be up for a-salt..."

26/07/17 20:06:49

 
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

"I love to go for long slow walks in the park."

27/07/17 18:04:09

 
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

Look at that S-car-go!

27/07/17 17:49:32

 
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

What a dickhead.

26/07/17 22:27:51

 
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

Brian, a sex worker, is surprising popular with lesbian couples, mainly due to his slow head technique.

26/07/17 21:07:41

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6212Greg Curtis

"...that guy slugged?"

26/07/17 20:22:33

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13295Vanessa the Guesser

Sticky Vicky calls it a day

26/07/17 20:19:18

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23490Michael Winner

"Think, damn you, or I'm doomed... find a truck- that's it! Find a truck at Calais and make it through the tunnel..."

26/07/17 20:09:22

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23490Michael Winner

"Damn, we'll never catch him now, he's literally inches away."

26/07/17 20:04:09

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23490Michael Winner

"I'm going to end it all- I'm going to put my head in a Grit Bin."

26/07/17 20:03:01

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

The Life of Brian

26/07/17 20:01:21

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13295Vanessa the Guesser

Mucus Meme Brian

26/07/17 20:01:13

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 7065Pussy Galore

I’ve told the doctor, this is why I can’t lose weight: I have the metabolism of a slug.

26/07/17 20:00:09

 
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