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"Yeah, yeah, I hope I feel better, too."
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Greg Curtis Vote score: 6212Greg Curtis

"Yeah, yeah, I hope I feel better, too."

26/07/16 12:03:59

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5789Paul Reeve

""Hello Betty this might sound like a silly question but did I leave my fishing rods in the kitchen by any chance?"

26/07/16 12:14:52

 
Leroy Brown Vote score: 7800Leroy Brown

Phone sails man

26/07/16 12:37:34

 
Tommy FlashBangWallop Vote score: 1413Tommy FlashBangWallop

"Yes I'll repeat, my position is Sierra, Hotel, India, Tango. New word, Charlie, Romeo, Echo, Echo, Kilo."

26/07/16 18:22:11

 
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

"Yes dear, I'm cutting your mother's grass now. Can't you hear the mower?"

26/07/16 21:05:26

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20950John Glover

"Yeh, I hit her from behind, wrapped in black plastic bags, weighted her down and dropped her in the river. What, my wife's just pulled into our drive. Shit, I've just killed the cleaner!"

27/07/16 0:54:21

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20950John Glover

"Corbyn or Smith, I hate these phone polls, no good asking me, I'm a floating voter."

26/07/16 18:29:35

 
Jochre Naribe Vote score: 219Jochre Naribe

Russian rower appeals his Olympics ban.

26/07/16 17:11:39

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11080Neil Mackenzie

Hello Motor Boats R US. I bought a boat off you but it won't go very fast.
Yes Sir what gear are you in?
Camouflage hat, white shirt and mushroom coloured boxers.

26/07/16 17:08:30

 
Tiny Alien Vote score: 2286Tiny Alien

Fuckin hell Mary this is ridiculas, there's no bloody Pokemons out here!

26/07/16 16:19:08

 
Mark England Vote score: 17418Mark England

"...that's right you've won $300,000 on our mystery lottery. If you give me your bank details we can process the payment straight away".
Clayton's Gone Phishing

26/07/16 12:47:26

 
Tiny Alien Vote score: 2286Tiny Alien

Shit, these aren't maggots....."Honey?"

26/07/16 12:36:51

 
John Llamas Vote score: 20016John Llamas

"No, not whores, I'd like you to fetch me a couple of oars. The motor is dead and I'm stuck on the lake."

26/07/16 12:31:28

 
Darthey Bussell Vote score: 19126Darthey Bussell

Bloaty McBloatface

26/07/16 12:23:20

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6212Greg Curtis

This is one place you don't want to drop a call.

26/07/16 12:14:41

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32671Tony Edwards

"Come in number 9, your time is up."

26/07/16 12:09:41

 
Henry Dixon Vote score: 751Henry Dixon

"E=mc2 ..? Hmmm .. what does '=' mean ?"

26/07/16 14:27:20

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15345Dan Nicholls

"Have you been in an accident at work".
#FatChance.

26/07/16 12:56:11

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15345Dan Nicholls

"Tell me I'm pretty". Tony was always fishing for compliments.

26/07/16 12:55:24

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32671Tony Edwards

"Try using your fishing tackle instead of your wedding tackle."

26/07/16 12:44:33

 
Leroy Brown Vote score: 7800Leroy Brown

"Hi, is that J R Hartley?"

26/07/16 12:33:40

 
Darthey Bussell Vote score: 19126Darthey Bussell

"I overate again so I'm feeling a bit boated."

26/07/16 12:23:59

 
Michael Monkhouse Vote score: 2804Michael Monkhouse

Gulliver was welcome till he needed a piss.

26/07/16 12:21:38

 
Boycie Vote score: 6700Boycie

"Its me you blithering idiot - you left me on the pier ... again"

26/07/16 12:21:27

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23490Michael Winner

"They'll never find me here", thought Sir Phillip Green.

26/07/16 12:07:14

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5789Paul Reeve

"I'd like to order a gutbuster pizza please."

26/07/16 12:06:14

 
tony kelly Vote score: 1273tony kelly

''What's that? No! I have no idea where that ******* hillbilly kid banjo player is...''

26/07/16 12:02:26

 
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