Sending private messages on this site is currently disabled due to abuse by spammers.
Please use the forum to send private messages instead.
| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Quota | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 74 | 9 | 40 | #5 | 18 | 43 | #9 | 5691 | 15509 | #17 |
| Photos | 8 | #5 | 1 | #7 | 299 | 771 | #6 | |||
| Comments | 15 | 3 | 5 | #3 | 4 | 3 | #6 | 1084 | 1689 | #3 |
| Forum Posts | 2 | 53 | ||||||||
| Suggested Edits | 1 | 1 | #1 | 17 | 25 | #2 | ||||
| Tips | 1 | 2 | #1 | 1 | 2 | #9 | ||||
| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | |
| Captions | 18 | #13 | 30 | #14 | 9055 | #27 |
| Photos | 833 | #21 | ||||
| Comments | 5 | #1 | 7 | #2 | 1840 | #5 |
| Forum Posts | ||||||
| Suggested Edits | 1 | #1 | 18 | #2 | ||
| Tips | 1 | #4 | ||||
captions
 |
||
|
18/01/24 8:12:29, edited: 15/03/24 18:17:37 |
||
|
Many congratulations, James - blooming marvellous! --Molly R
|
||
 |
||
|
01/09/23 20:02:48, edited: 15/03/24 18:19:32 |
||
|
Love your caption James. You're gonna need a bigger vote 😉 --Dot Old
|
||
 |
"This is most embarrassing, but could you help? Somehow I've caught my penis in the fence." 18/07/21 12:55:41 |
|
|
Many congratulations, James! I've been out of it a while with Covid and missed some pictures entirely, so this has come as a new delight. A very worthy winner! --Molly R
|
||
 |
10/01/24 8:33:06 |
|
|
Hahahahahaha. That's hilarious! You've made me choke on my toast. --Vivvy En
|
||
 |
23/03/19 8:46:34 |
|
|
Haha. I don't mind chipping in a tenner for second place (it definitely will not be one of mine)!! Great caption. Genuinely choked on my toast. So thanks for nearly killing me! --The Wolf
|
||
 |
22/01/19 8:22:17 |
|
|
Thanks Dave and everyone else. Chuffed to be on the board and loving the spirit of Caption.me. Will continue to represent the hobbits down here in NZ. Cheers all. --James Lennox
|
||
 |
*Ding* 13/01/23 12:10:08, edited: 13/01/23 12:31:58 |
|
|
I agree with KT A. This is a killer. --Dave Bryan
|
||
 |
"Bloody typical," muttered Dave. "I just paid £25 for mine." 20/01/24 12:10:18 |
|
 |
This public gathering is just asking to get Corona. 12/05/20 8:16:32 |
|
 |
Looks like the shit's hit the van. 16/07/23 8:23:55 |
|
 |
"Lord Vader, the Rebels are attacking. Perhaps you should change out of your pyjamas." 27/12/22 20:01:39 |
|
 |
||
|
18/06/22 8:00:31 |
||
|
Cheers for the congrats, guys. I think I was lucky to pip Tony's one, so I'm very glad he got a 2nd place prize. A big cheer out to the caption.me contributors who have made this extra prize possible. And, as always, many thanks to Chris for the... --James Lennox
|
||
 |
17/03/22 8:01:22 |
|
 |
09/03/21 12:35:25 |
|
|
...and along with the suit he was wearing. --Willie Johnson
|
||
 |
||
|
28/04/20 20:23:57 |
||
|
First off, I'd like to thank the Academy ... no but seriously, thanks to Chris for picking #3 (I too preferred it to my other), and kudos to Smuldo for being equal #1. Thanks also to Mr. Dome for his "BeeSI: Miami", which forced me to edit my ... --James Lennox
|
||
 |
13/11/23 8:01:26 |
|
|
Nice one ... It took me a while --John Glover
|
||
 |
29/04/23 8:05:06 |
|
 |
"Disaster here in the Paralympic eventing course as Wu Chan's wheelchair refuses to take that jump." 01/12/22 20:07:31 |
|
 |
"Gosh darn it," said Davy-Bob. "Nobody told me you could reload them." 12/12/21 12:08:44 |
|
 |
Javelins should only be thrown outdoors. 03/02/20 12:00:41 |
|
|
The good news is she was standing just past the world record distance. --Willie Johnson
|
||
 |
05/02/24 8:01:50, edited: 05/02/24 8:21:59 |
|
 |
15/10/23 20:13:01 |
|
 |
Best Captioneer a few weeks in a row and The Wolf gets all cocky. 28/09/23 20:17:44 |
|
|
Yea I wanna C a Camel toe. --Karen McDonald
|
||
 |
I have a strange urge to whack her with an oversize rubber mallet. 17/11/20 9:17:11 |
|
 |
The cheap seats at the opera are OK. Just make sure you duck when they turn the spotlights on. 31/07/20 8:09:57 |
|
 |
21/03/24 12:00:40 |
|
 |
Some people shouldn't be allowed to raise children. 16/09/22 12:00:35 |
|
|
Usually, they're called parents. --Glyn Evans
|
||
 |
"Perfect, my last batch was a little on the dark side." 29/03/22 20:28:20 |
|
 |
"I'm sorry luv, but Noah said I'm only allowed to bring one, and Nancy's got better tits." 06/04/21 12:26:41 |
|
|
"Yes, but I don't think Nancy is the right monkey for you on this trip, Joan," said Percy. :^) --Crunchy Chords
|
||
 |
Harold always believed the son shone out of his arse. 27/08/20 8:00:40 |
|
 |
If dodos had been better jugglers they wouldn't be extinct. 08/02/20 12:00:17 |
|
 |
21/05/19 12:00:27 |
|
 |
It was a beautiful wedding, but the honeymoon in France didn't end well. 01/03/19 20:13:39 |
|
 |
The Four Riders of the Alpacalypse 14/01/24 8:17:49 |
|
 |
17/08/23 20:05:32, edited: 17/08/23 20:06:03 |
|
 |
"Hang on, mum, we haven't tied the string round Billy's bad tooth yet." 18/12/22 20:43:09 |
|
 |
...and who can forget Dave's final words: 27/04/21 20:40:05 |
|
|
"Pssst! Word of advice. Some Russians might take offence to this as they might see it as an insult to their National animal, however I know that you're talking about it's actual state of being. If you're urinal cake is glowing a funny colour o... --Glyn Evans
|
||
 |
27/11/20 8:36:38 |
|
|
😂😂😂 I’ve since looked at a Kiwi bird on Images and now it all makes sense and it’s a brilliant caption. I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw what the Kiwi bird looked like. I am going to lol this caption because it’s funny and clev... --Karen Oakenfull
|
||
 |
Nobody makes better balloon animals than Dave. 29/09/20 20:15:41 |
|
|
Always start with a blowfish --Al Overy
|
||
 |
Giving up smoking, diary entry day 23: Either I'm starting to hallucinate or my wife is a bitch. 03/03/19 20:47:18 |
|
|
No she’s not, she menthol 🙃 --Karen Oakenfull
|
||
 |
29/03/24 21:30:50, edited: 29/03/24 21:32:27 |
|
 |
09/03/24 8:06:15, edited: 09/03/24 8:07:26 |
|
|
--Chris Beach
|
||
 |
04/03/24 20:09:39 |
|
 |
"It was either this or pineapple." 24/02/24 20:04:31 |
|
 |
16/01/24 8:16:36 |
|
 |
30/12/23 12:11:12 |
|
 |
"I thought after 80 years he'd have forgiven me for eating his porridge!" 29/09/23 8:05:07, edited: 29/09/23 8:12:23 |
|
 |
"I'm sure we've met, but I'm sorry, my short term memory is terrible." 22/09/23 8:03:59 |
|
 |
16/11/22 20:01:07, edited: 16/11/22 20:01:48 |
|
 |
"So God created Adam in His own image, which, strangely, was that of a 70s pornstar." 07/05/22 13:28:08 |
|
 |
14/12/20 8:05:11 |
|
 |
Barbie hasn't changed much in the last 60 years. Ken on the other hand ... 24/11/20 8:17:40 |
|
|
Well that's interesting and disturbing Willie. I bet Ken's namesake had a fun childhood growing up as the kid who has a penis-less incestuous plastic doll named after him. --James Lennox
|
||
 |
Always buy your catnip from a trusted source. 08/09/20 14:23:56 |
|
 |
Looks like the match went to sudden death. 17/07/19 8:30:33 |
|
 |
"Ok, girls, now our husbands have gone, let's put away the Tupperware and bring out the vibrators." 22/02/24 20:01:42, edited: 23/02/24 5:26:55, |
|
|
This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I shall not put. --Scrijjy Doo
|
||
 |
01/02/24 20:07:16 |
|
 |
"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FLYING THAT SLEIGH YOU FAT BASTARD!!" 24/12/23 20:05:41 |
|
 |
07/11/23 8:04:00 |
|
 |
"And here's 4,999 I prepared earlier." 11/08/23 20:20:11 |
|
 |
10/08/23 20:47:41 |
|
|
I guess the moral of the story is to be careful what's down under when you're Down Under. --Stephen Bean
|
||
 |
"Are you going to take the train, Dave?" 18/06/23 8:03:56 |
|
 |
"The worst thing about Great Floods," moaned God. "Is having to dry everything afterwards." 04/06/23 12:01:22 |
|
 |
01/01/23 20:00:20 |
|
 |
09/11/22 12:00:44 |
|
 |
What the hell is Sambuchino, and why is throwing it at gnomes a good defence? 31/08/22 8:10:06 |
|
 |
09/07/22 8:00:27 |
|
 |
"That's OK, you're swimming in our septic tank." 19/05/22 8:02:06 |
|
 |
08/10/21 8:08:37 |
|
 |
"Sorry to intrude, but could I please have my rubber bone back?" 19/07/21 8:07:59 |
|
 |
Sadly, none of the gospels recorded Jesus's performance of YMCA. 23/04/21 12:12:14 |
|
|
Described by critics as 'rather wooden'. --Karyn Harrison
|
||
 |
22/03/21 8:04:11 |
|
 |
US politics are insane, General Lee speaking. 24/01/21 8:06:09 |
|
 |
12/04/20 8:01:39 |
|
 |
"... and then he took his shirt off and things started to get weird." 09/04/20 20:40:08 |
|
 |
No animals were harmed during the making of this picture, but some were highly pissed off. 25/03/20 8:07:25 |
|
|
"No animals were harmed" - just someone's dignity. --Willie Johnson
|
||
 |
"Ok Dave, you create a diversion while I steal the mini." 09/01/20 12:14:25 |
|
 |
05/12/19 8:04:18 |
|
 |
02/09/19 8:57:49 |
|
 |
"One way or another Monsieur, you will leave a tip." 05/03/19 12:24:57 |
|
 |
15/02/19 20:16:18 |
|
 |
Thu 12:16:16 |
|
 |
"One wonders if she spreads easily." 09/03/24 20:07:56 |
|
|
No, that's her sister, Flora. --Karyn Harrison
|
||
 |
19/02/24 20:15:33 |
|
 |
Dave was rubbish at picking up girls. 31/12/23 20:19:41, edited: 01/01/24 8:03:59 |
|
 |
"Yeah, sex with him is dry, boring, and one sided, but for some reason it does keep my thrush away." 12/12/23 8:24:39 |
|
 |
"Jeez, I could murder a grandma ... I mean, a kebab." 07/12/23 8:13:13, edited: 07/12/23 8:28:15 |
|
|
Ha, you've got me wondering now whether murder a grandma is funnier. It's nice having the double 'gr' sound though. --Stephen Bean
|
||
 |
12/10/23 20:17:35 |
|
 |
13/08/23 20:31:47 |
|
 |
"Any last words, sir?" 04/06/23 20:52:29, edited: 04/06/23 20:55:29 |
|
|
The did say his sentence would be suspended. --Tony S
|
||
 |
And in Dublin, the annual 'Swap you Wife for a Keg of Guinness' promotion kicks off. 04/05/23 8:01:19 |
|
 |
22/03/23 12:11:18 |
|
 |
"Hmmn, do you reckon we should put the 'Out of Order' sign at the bottom or the top?" 06/03/23 12:29:17 |
|
 |
"I think I'm gonna find a new Best Man, Dave. This Stag Do sucks." 09/02/23 12:17:23 |
|
 |
Despairing the inevitable onslaught of excruciating puns, the bananas chose suicide. 15/01/23 20:18:34 |
|
|
Careful about giving in to the urge to make a banana pun. It's a slippery slope. --Willie Johnson
|
||
 |
03/12/22 8:21:53, edited: 03/12/22 8:39:07 |
|
|
That poor dog :-D --Glyn Evans
|
||
 |
08/11/22 12:50:33, edited: 08/11/22 12:56:06 |
|
 |
08/05/22 13:53:13 |
|
 |
"On the plus side, my hemorrhoids are gone." 12/03/22 12:00:56 |
|
 |
01/02/22 8:02:45 |
|
 |
18/11/21 13:17:02 |
|
|
I'll show you mine if you show me yours. --Willie Johnson
|
||
suggested edits
email us
Thanks, Steve. I liked the double pun, but perhaps it detracted from the overall wordplay. Your suggestion probably makes sense.
10:36am
comment on caption:
Grime and Punishment [James Lennox]
You're welcome. I've killed many a caption by going too far with puns. Funny thing is I didn't notice you hadn't written 'Punishment' when I voted.
11:29am
comment on caption:
Grime and Punishment [James Lennox]
Thanks for saving me the time.
8:06pm
comment on caption:
Just so you all know. Googling "Hans Gruber Machine" was unhelpful. [James Lennox]
Sorry, Kathleen, I totally misread what this was a picture of on my tiny phone. Would like to edit with your permission? Options: One Arm Candit / Pandit / Bundit / Badshit (thanks Anon 😉 )
Have edited, hope that's Ok.
12:17pm
comment on caption:
One Arm Bundit [James Lennox]
One arm badshit
12:18pm
comment on caption:
One Arm Bundit [James Lennox]
Thanks, Troompa. A definite improvement.
11:24pm
comment on caption:
Eggs over Siamesey [James Lennox]
There will have been so many people traumatised by that scene!
8:50pm
comment on caption:
"Thanks for looking after my pot plants, Dave. Hopefully it takes your mind off the PTSD you suffer from watching The NeverEnding Story as a child." [James Lennox]
Clearly I've never watched this film all the way through. Here's the clip with the swamp of sadness.
https://youtu.be/YsKu3Jh5IAs?feature=shared
9:16am
comment on caption:
"Thanks for looking after my pot plants, Dave. Hopefully it takes your mind off the PTSD you suffer from watching The NeverEnding Story as a child." [James Lennox]
There's an Irish chicken, a Scottish chicken and an English chicken crossing the road...
Feel free to engage and finish this joke with a punchline if you please...or not
8:11pm
comment on caption:
Wokeists insist all old jokes must be rewritten. [James Lennox]
Glyn, I’ve had a go at writing a joke about the English, Irish n Scottish chickens but it would take me a week to condense it down lol. The basic tag lines were, Hurry, pub soon to close, are you paying? No, two turn back, Scottish one finds out it’s only 10p a pint, crosses road, gets to the other side but a wall falls on him.
(Something, perhaps nothing like that, but it’s fun to play with 😂.
Wanted to add my favourite chicken crossing road joke. I’m sure most will know this but may like to be reminded again. 😳
A duck walked past a chicken who was about to cross the road. He said, “Don’t do it mate! You’ll never hear the end of it.”
I’ll get my kagool..
9:50pm
comment on caption:
Wokeists insist all old jokes must be rewritten. [James Lennox]