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	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	71	14	22	#11	53	139	#2	12929	30784	#5
Photos
Comments	20	1	4	#4	7	15	#1	1300	1523	#4
Forum Posts		3						13
Suggested Edits								6	6	#8

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	24	#8	56	#8	12993	#18
Photos	1	#10			657	#28
Comments	6	#1	4	#3	1115	#7
Forum Posts
Suggested Edits	1	#1			8	#5

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	After a lifetime of hard work he's urned it. 16/11/21 8:01:24	18

	A prize to die for 16/11/21 8:00:13	18

	clever 🎵 Ground control to minor Tom 🎵 12/08/21 12:06:47	18

	''There's something wrong with the clutch.'' 26/05/21 20:09:48	5 18
Looks more like the eggshaust. --John Glover
	clever ''I should keep two metres away from her. She may be a carrier pigeon.'' 17/01/21 9:05:07	18

	''Shit! It's frozen.'' 02/10/20 8:12:13	18

	BREAKING NEWS: Shergar found at Chester Zoo. He had me fooled claims zebra keeper. 17/08/20 20:23:38	18

	lol creative 🎵 Don't Stand So Close To Me 🎵 06/07/20 8:34:47	1 18

	clever x3 ''This isn't fair. We agreed to start the battle this afternoon.'' ''Too bad, Ethelred.'' 05/04/20 9:05:50	1 18

	lol Pen pusher 24/07/19 8:00:10	1 18
The pen is mightier than the sheared. :^) --Crunchy Chords
	WARNING Drink responsibly. Too many cans can give you the puns. 07/04/24 8:07:54	17

	Business Class 06/01/24 20:04:13, edited: 06/01/24 20:11:14	17

	''I love these Gala apples.'' ''I prefer Granny Smith.'' ''You're too late. Bruno ate her yesterday.'' 24/12/23 8:44:24	17

	BEFORE THEY WERE FAMOUS Edvard Munch 23/12/23 12:47:16	17

	clever Baking Bad 25/09/23 20:03:59	1 17

	''Don't jump, you've just got a vote.'' 19/09/23 20:12:55	17

	Nobody was surprised by her dress. Rumours had been circulating for a long time that she had something in the oven. 14/08/23 8:11:17	1 17
I'd like to make a complaint. 9 months is too long to wait for delivery.[Edit- Nod 8:18:46, just seen] --James Lennox
	The Baralympics 04/05/23 8:06:22	17

	''I always buy big Tesco cucumbers. My husband has only got a Lidl one.'' 18/02/23 12:11:25	17

	Light ale 18/02/23 8:00:17	17

	''You aren't going to believe this, Rover. Two German Shepherds have nicked our sunbeds.'' 29/09/22 8:04:58	17

	''You may now give the bride a kiss on the lips or, if you prefer, a peck on the cheek.'' 18/07/22 8:03:23	17

	''Joe has been the head gardener here for many years.'' 19/06/22 12:02:36	1 17
It keeps him in trim. --John Glover
	''This kind of behaviour in public doesn't bother me. I just turn a blind eye to it.'' 04/05/22 20:11:54	1 17

	''There used to be nine members of staff until I let one go.'' 15/11/21 20:01:57	17

	''Oh no! There's a leek in his nappy.'' 10/09/21 20:07:48	1 17
"Did you take a leek, or are you just happy to see me?" --Willie Johnson
	clever ''How did Polly get out of her cage?'' ''She used the escape key.'' 09/06/21 12:24:46	2 17
But she ended back where she started when she hit return. --Willie Johnson
	clever ''I can't understand why you worry so much about pandemics. We're always the first to get the vaccine.'' 06/04/21 12:32:19	4 17
"Your votes are still climbing" - like monkeys. --Willie Johnson
	She works in the intensive scare unit. 31/03/21 8:37:42	17

	creative ''Hurry up. The tooth is killing me.'' 16/03/21 8:01:15	2 17
Only at 2:30. --Molly R
	creative BREAKING NEWS: Daisy's second lunar mission ends in failure. (But the little dog still has a good laugh) 16/02/21 20:02:51	3 17
A moo launch? --Glyn Evans
	Meals On Wheels 14/12/20 8:00:12	17

	''I'm very confident of future growth.'' 26/09/20 12:21:39	17

	lol BREAKING NEWS: Kangaroo leap frog champion suffers setback in first round. 24/08/20 12:08:19	17

	Reese with her spoon 18/12/19 8:27:59	17

	''You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.'' ''Get some glasses.'' 30/10/19 8:16:23	17

	She may be Maiden America but the flag was probably maiden China. 28/07/19 12:14:04	17

	lol IAAF ban South African women's relay team. 03/05/19 20:03:33	17

	Primer donnas 06/09/18 12:13:13	17

	''Since taking anabollic steroids, I've had a new Lisa life.'' 22/08/18 20:46:45	17

	🎵 Singing in the Train 🎵 05/03/24 8:25:14, edited: 05/03/24 8:26:15	16

	Newly Arrived Migrant Speaks Out: ''I must admit I did expect some kind of boat for $10,000.'' 31/01/24 8:22:46, edited: 31/01/24 8:39:16	16

	''That child will go far.'' 19/01/24 8:09:19	16

	The ghost of captions past 02/12/23 8:00:30	16

	Toiletrees 15/11/23 8:02:05	16

	''She died several hours ago, Holmes. Do you suspect foil play?'' 09/05/23 20:28:42	1 16
Alumentary... --Peter Houle
	''Can he do any other tricks?'' ''Yes, he can make food disappear.'' 26/04/23 12:31:49	16

	The Beached Boys 20/04/23 12:02:19, edited: 20/04/23 12:16:28	16

	''Don't you find rats a problem?'' ''No, they moved out last month.'' 01/03/23 12:18:01	16

	''She's a nice girl but she can't hold her drink.'' 28/02/23 20:15:03	16

	''Is there anything you miss about Jamaica?'' 30/12/22 12:01:03	16

	''Bloody typical. You go to the toilet and when you get back some wanker has taken your seat.'' 11/12/22 20:08:25, edited: 11/12/22 20:16:31	16

	''Dave usually sits on cans in the kitchen. He doesn't like the draught in the living room.'' 10/12/22 8:18:26, edited: 10/12/22 8:21:30	16

	''Have you got the pot ready? I've spotted Matt Hancock.'' 10/11/22 8:11:59	16

	Forest Dump 04/11/22 20:01:45	16

	''I don't like The Simpsons, dad. What's on the other side?'' 09/10/22 12:32:25	16

	''Can we try somewhere else? I've got a bad feeling about this care home.'' 25/09/22 8:52:30	16

	''It must be a Michelin restaurant.'' 19/09/22 8:06:13	16

	''I don't think you're going to make it as a haidresser, Dave, but I do have a guy here from the village who needs his cottage thatching.'' 18/06/22 8:25:21	16

	''And that's how you work out your caption quota.'' 04/06/22 8:13:51	16

	lol ALARM CLOCK RINGS ''It's twelve o’clock, luv. Can you keep yourself going for a few minutes while I go and post a caption?'' 14/05/22 12:00:55	1 16
Been there, done that. --James Lennox
	''Are prostate problems wrecking your confidence when urinating? Do your mates call you The Dribbler? If so, try attaching our new superjet nozzle and you too can pee like a twenty-year-old again. Walk down memory lane and piss over the five-barred gate at the end of it. Send for the superjet nozzle now and get free delivery: Only £299.00 while stocks last. This offer is not available in any shop.'' 18/04/22 8:30:22	16

	🎵 It's my party and I'll lie if I want to 🎵 09/12/21 8:51:27	1 16
Everyone knows that Allegra has goneShe duly wept for her crimeWhy were they holding a bashWith cheese and presents and wine? --Glad You Remember
	''We had to abandon the race. When the greyhounds saw him they wouldn't come out of the traps.'' 29/05/21 8:03:15	2 16
Simple fix: put him behind the greyhounds. --Willie Johnson
	''E = mc2. I've cracked it!'' 21/05/21 20:00:09	16

	''I'm booking you.......for the Inspector's stag do.'' 10/05/21 20:30:05	16

	The captioneers' keep fit group meets every morning at 8.00am. 10/05/21 8:09:10	1 16
Mental gymnastics. --Willie Johnson
	She is obviously not in favour of PC. 09/05/21 8:00:09	16

	clever ''Where are you?'' ''Outside the Black Boy Hotel, Sarge.'' ''Don't try and be funny, Constable. Just call it the police station.'' 05/04/21 12:17:11	7 16
I almost want to give you a supervote for this one, but it's too close to a painful truth (which isn't funny). --Willie Johnson
	''I only bought the jumper three months ago and it's already too small for him. Kids grow up so quick these days.'' 31/03/21 20:24:28	16

	lol ''Who are those f-cking wierdos?'' ''They're captioneers, Fester.'' 15/01/21 20:23:27	1 16
Some of their captions are festering... --Mauris Iocus
	Mr Potato Dead 13/10/20 20:00:26	16

	''I told you to move the car before they started painting the white lines.'' 25/09/20 12:00:09	16

	''Goldilocks was found guilty of breaking and entering and was sent to a young offenders' institution.'' ''That was a wonderful story. I love a happy ending.'' 13/09/20 8:18:06	16

	It was so sad. He dumped her just before the wedding. 30/07/20 12:00:22	16

	clever Shelf isolation 26/06/20 8:07:41	16

	clever Pulp Fiction 14/05/20 20:14:34	1 16
You Play With Matches You Get Burned. --Woofer 6
	lol I don't mind the fan dancing but I think it's a bit tasteless to bring that dead dog on stage. 06/05/20 8:49:11	16

	clever One of Van Gogh's earlier paintings before he began to suffer from depression. 03/05/20 12:02:41	16

	''And, if you waste any more time on that f-cking caption site, I'll splatter your brains all over the wall.'' 17/04/20 21:06:48	1 16

	''Whereabouts in the UK do you live?'' ''How do you know I'm from the UK?'' 11/04/20 12:27:39	2 16
I think he's from the Isle of White. --Karyn Harrison
	Birdwatching For Beginners 28/03/20 8:42:18	1 16
That bird is not a beginner. He's been around the block a few times. --Willie Johnson
	lol ''Give me the frog any day.'' 26/02/20 8:32:41	16

	''Lemmy out!'' 04/01/20 12:00:24	1 16
Wait, I thought he was "Killed by Death". --Willie Johnson
	clever Coney Island 22/12/19 8:02:28	16

	''Should we go and vote?'' ''No, the captions are crap.'' 12/12/19 12:05:21	16

	''What shall we do with the other suspect, Sarge?'' ''Grill him.'' 04/12/19 8:01:58	16

	British police are hoping to have him extradited across the pond. 29/11/19 12:10:17	16

	North Pole dancer 03/11/19 8:05:37	16

	Cedar's Digest 24/08/19 8:10:16	16

	creative ''I hope the motel is very successful.'' - Well wisher. 12/08/19 8:21:00	16

	''You've done watt?'' 02/04/19 23:08:28	16

	Southpaw 02/08/18 8:00:12	16

	Guns and Roses Thu 20:09:37	15

	Shoot to krill policy 02/04/24 8:02:03	15

	''Don't let go of him, he's got the pasties.'' 06/02/24 12:03:42	15

	''They're flying off the shelves.'' 29/01/24 8:19:13	15

	Monster Munch 21/01/24 12:04:46	15

	''No, we don't find shoplifters a problem.'' 16/12/23 8:17:01	15

	''What dreadful teeth you have, grandmother.'' ''Not my fault, sweetie, can't find an NHS dentist anywhere.'' 07/12/23 8:14:40	15

more captions

last comments (total: 858)

Crap, sorry Dave. I missed voting on this pic. Would have Supervoted this.

James Lennox

11/02/24
8:19pm

comment on caption:
CLOSING TIME AT KNOWSLEY SAFARI PARK ''Don't worry, it must be hiding in the bushes.'' [Dave Bryan]

Good knowledge. He was a goalkeeper known as 'the cat'. Maybe we're the only ones who knew that. Hmmm.

Al Overy

16/02/24
8:42pm

comment on caption:
''And that's another great save from Peter Bonetti.'' [Dave Bryan]

Good

Dan Nicholls

17/02/24
7:46am

comment on caption:
''That could be a red card for Mittens. He's just scratched Kurt Zouma's eye out.'' [Dave Bryan]

No. One more at least...

Mr Dome

18/02/24
9:24am

comment on caption:
''And that's another great save from Peter Bonetti.'' [Dave Bryan]

Sorry, Dave. It's been a pig of a week and I've missed a few captions. Would obviously have voted for this wink

James Lennox

02/03/24
7:05am

comment on caption:
So that's what the rest of James Lennox's body looks like. [Dave Bryan]

The "Ornery" Rooster, had a "Chip" on his Shoulder... and, a "Munky" on his back.

[anon]

07/03/24
11:50pm

comment on caption:
''I'm not coming here again, Tufty. We've been waiting ten minutes to get a drink and that horse got served straight away.'' [Dave Bryan]

A vote for the long memory!

Molly R

16/03/24
6:39am

comment on caption:
''Is that Dave's veggie burger?'' ''No, they're Wilfred's Pickles.'' [Dave Bryan]

Thank you, Molly.
As a kid growing up in the Sixties I can vaguely remember my parents listening to 'Have A Go' on the radio. This show was a big deal in those days because Wilfred Pickles actually gave out CASH PRIZES!!

(caption author)

16/03/24
7:43am

comment on caption:
''Is that Dave's veggie burger?'' ''No, they're Wilfred's Pickles.'' [Dave Bryan]

And there was "Mabel at the table" as well ... but that's about all I can remember.

Molly R

17/03/24
5:53am

comment on caption:
''Is that Dave's veggie burger?'' ''No, they're Wilfred's Pickles.'' [Dave Bryan]

He was just grasping the "Gravity" of the Situation.

[anon]

17/03/24
8:14pm