"Young man, about these airbags you fitted for me…"

13/07/12 20:00:06

Dave was beside himself with fear.

15/07/12 20:10:09

You may laugh, but the Swiss Army have ordered fifty.

27/10/12 9:00:37

creative x2

"Pull harder Granddad, we're still miles from the nearest petrol station."

08/01/13 12:00:06

"Dave, you're pathetic. You just lie there and let people walk all over you."

07/12/12 8:08:27

When it's sunny, this sundial displays the time in four continents.

03/12/12 8:03:24

Gok, Paper, Scissors.

25/10/12 20:39:54

I'm really not sure about these new McDonalds urinals.

26/09/12 8:02:39

"That's odd", thought Dave, "I'm absolutely certain that I only put two in there…"

05/04/13 20:02:54

Glampax.

25/01/13 8:00:06

"Well, you'll just keep going on about your tax payments until you're… Oh."

06/05/12 20:03:08

Squashages

08/10/11 13:15:25

*Thinks* "Damn- why do I always get the Dalek with the wonky wheel?"

14/05/13 12:45:24

lol

"Bejesus, I could do with a pint- my horse just came in fifth."

25/04/13 8:00:43

Guide Dogs for the Colour Blind.

21/04/13 20:05:52

creative x2

"...slowly, and surely, they drew their plans against us."

17/04/13 20:03:47

"Cone-ichiwa!"

14/04/13 8:00:43

Sex a peel.

04/04/13 12:00:19

It was quiet. Too quiet... I should have seen the signs.

02/04/13 12:00:59

Don Quioské.

22/02/13 12:01:36

There's a sucker born every minute.

17/01/13 20:38:13

lol

"...and let that be a warning to all of the other construction workers who stray onto my land..."

17/01/13 12:28:36

"No, this is 'A'. You want the flat upstairs, 36B."

05/12/12 12:04:25

Shoplifting deterrents, Abu Dhabi.

12/10/12 8:00:50

PG Trips.

01/09/12 12:04:33

Huge Heffer.

20/07/12 11:12:49

He denied fingering A minor in a G string.

17/07/12 11:01:11

Note to chavs- never try to remove wheel trims from a moving vehicle.

08/07/12 11:00:43

Found: cat, black and white, 7lbs, three meter circumference.

19/06/12 11:01:17

Kids will do anything to avoid being adopted by Madonna.

10/06/12 20:02:39

Jam Pact.

13/05/12 20:00:45

Not to be confused with the 'I love Ewe' shop in Aberystwyth.

08/05/12 20:00:13

It came from Outer London.

06/05/12 20:00:31

'...recalculating...'

28/03/12 11:03:38

No one had the heart to tell protester Dave Bryant that the bypass was cancelled over twenty years ago.

02/01/12 11:26:07

creative

Warning- vuvuzela thieves operate in this area.

28/04/13 12:00:51

Tesco are struggling to explain traces of Maple Syrup found in their Value Burgers.

07/02/13 20:01:22

"Honey, don't try fixing it yourself, we'll get a plumber in."

25/01/13 12:06:39

It's what Charlie Brown would have wanted.

11/12/12 12:01:23

Café au lay.

15/09/12 8:06:55

W.C. Fields.

02/09/12 8:02:41

"Run for your lives- it's Gary Glitter!"

30/08/12 20:00:16

Ampersandwich.

19/01/12 11:00:12

"PUNY MORTALS, PREPARE TO MEET THY D-
Oi, stop it… don't do that. Stop. Ow. I really mean it now, I'm going to get quite angry with you…"

29/04/13 12:02:38

"They'rrrrre GREAT!"

28/03/13 12:00:08

Jimmy's recently had his appendix removed.

10/03/13 20:07:48

In Morse Code it says 'Your car is now covered in shit'.

21/02/13 8:01:37

Sudweiser.

14/02/13 8:19:39

creative

"So- what are next year's election results?"

03/02/13 12:11:44

Compere the Meerkat.com

30/12/12 8:00:10