New Lithuanian flag meets unanimous approval.

Ok, who's got the scissors and paper?

"I know this one, it's a Chateau la-feet 1982"

"I can see your nuts"

"Are you sure you turned the gas off last night?"

"I think I've just manured myself"

Casualty waiting times showing few signs of improvement.

Australian Muslim praying to Mecca.

"All I know is that it got returned from Dubai mate"

I could swear the wheel was there when we left Liverpool.

Students get legless on night out.

"Have you got that beer stain out of the floor boards yet Ronnie?"

Man gets hammered.

"Whatever you do don't press the red button"

Attempts to bring Phil Lynott back for the Brits fail again.

King Charles the first Terrier

If Robin wants to buy a cannon you'll have to send him down here Mr Tuck.

Recently married woman corrects the still matching underwear situation.

"All I want is a date"

"When you've finished washing the plane can you do the car over there please"

"What do you mean my van's on a double yellow?"

I think you've made a mistake, I ordered a No 49 with noodles.

Nasa's new safety in space campaign is widely regarded to be a step too far.

"I get the message, I'll put the washing on"

"Alright, alright, you can have a lick if you give me the flake back"

First one to the lettuce wins.

"A joke's a joke, now give me back my Toblerone"

Neighbours were not convinced by Trevor's attempts to prove he was not off his trolley.

What do you mean you've got cramp?

Legless and "waisted" at the bar, post Christmas:-)

"So have we got it straight now? Don't forget to put cotton buds on the shopping list again"

"Laura, have you taken my Fairy Liquid bottle again?"

Did the bell ring for you?

Don't fire up the Citroen, it's time for a sleep.

Are you sure it's meant to be lucky?

For Sale: Jeep in sand grey with sea green upholstery. One or two minor scuffs and skid marks. Needs a minor valet, and engine needs minor attention, if you can shift the octopus under the bonnet.
- Phone Branscombe 1234

If you want to know if the light goes off you get in.

Did you shoot my mum?

Nina wonders where the other 98 have gone.

BA get ready for Easter strike schedule.

"He's behiiinndd youuuu"

I'm just winging it"

I haven't got a clue where the nail scissors went.

I think.........Slytherin House for you.

Aaaaaahhh, look at the dirt under those finger nails.

Stay away from the light.

T-Brex

The mirror was relieved not to be lying to the Wicked Stepmother any more.

Snow White recovers from poisoned toffee apple binge

French team practice hiding hands from view.