The 'active ingredient' in Finish Dishwasher tablets had finally been uncovered.

Apocalypse Chow.

Greyhound racing was to blame for the outbreak of doggy bulemia.

With a savage pecking on the cards, Little Sonia was starting to wish daddy had brought more bread.

Having just eaten Michael Palin, the polar bears were crippled with indigestion.

The hippies’ cunning plan to avoid the congestion charge really pissed Ken Livingstone off.

The crocodiles' new found taste for Hovis was bad news for the ducks.

Diane had spent so long getting ready for her wedding, she never noticed the Apocalypse.

Stan was now wishing he’d read his pre-nuptial agreement a bit more carefully.

That’s an ASBO for you, you little bastard.

Nike's campaign against shy bladder syndrome had been a great success.

Zookeepers were worried that the North American Face-Eating Wolves were going to have a hard time mating.

Since the end of the Cold War, Blofeld's evil cat had really let himself go.

Hasselhoff was doing ok, but the rest of the Baywatch team weren’t faring so well.

Having spent all night making his super hero costume, 'Captain Wolf' was a little disappointed by the lack of crime

‘Face Off 2’ starring Nicolas Cage was going to be weird.

It was only when Susan had punched the hairdresser through the wall that she realised she’d turned into a ‘difficult’ bride.

Geoff was beginning to wish he’d written down the address of the Halloween party.

Consumer demand for magnetic cat’s arses was worryingly high.

The amount of wives resorting to ebaying their husbands rather than divorcing them was a cause for concern.

Forget scarves and woolly hats, it takes a proper granny to knit you a rubber duck.

The Republican Rubber Duck Revolution was gathering pace.

Nothing makes a pelican need a shit like the sight of a freshly washed car.

The new Levi ‘Squirrel Knee’ jeans were the talk of the fashion industry.

Cat dentistry was just one of Cowboy Kev’s many talents.

Next on Channel Five, ‘The Girl Who Thinks She’s a Pigeon’.

I just want to say, that you lot are all dick heads.

Novelty wind screen wipers is a ‘ride pimp’ too far.

The new Transformer’s film was a load of old bollocks.

And this, ladies and gents, is why students are wankers.

Come to Glastonbury, be crawled on by a twat.

The Day The Fish Got Guns.

The poisonous Big Blue Arse Mushroom claimed yet another victim.

No. It isn't.

The Disney remake of The Wicker Man was shite.

Despite the extra security at the Cole residence, Ashley’s slags kept on finding a way in.

Captain Birdseye’s scheme for even fresher fish fingers had not been a big success.

Holiday snaps in the Land of the Giants were a tricky business.

Stag party pranks in Jacobean England were a touch extreme.

The new rubber duck category on X-Factor was proving popular at the auditions.

David Blaine’s new stunt was, quite frankly, shit.

Giant Rick Stein was out of control.

That would be the last time Claire ordered the large glass of wine.

There’s a fine line between a lone wolf and a lonely wolf.

The Appleton sisters weren’t coping well with life after All Saints.

Budget cuts to CSI: Miami had lead to a few drastic changes.

Julie’s preference for getting into a bath face first was a little unconventional.

Bird vs Grape: not one of nature’s greatest battles.

Dave’s ‘Sex Doll/Sat Nav’ had seemed like such a good buy at the time.

Early versions of ‘Hook a Duck’ were a bit gruesome.