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" I told you before we got on the plane, to just give him the fuckin bread."
" I told you before we got on the plane, to just give him the fuckin bread." photo | portfolio
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stone face Vote score: 1217stone face

" I told you before we got on the plane, to just give him the fuckin bread."

05/08/18 9:40:54

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 2025Chris Keegan

Peeking Duck

05/08/18 8:00:11

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 20480Michael Winner

Anatidaephobia: the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.

05/08/18 8:11:13

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 6065Pussy Galore

Now showing in theatres everywhere: Drakes on a Plane.

05/08/18 11:18:46

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 18863Ian Skelding

"We need to land and find the nearest pond."
"Why, what is it?"
"It's a small body of still water formed naturally or by artificial means but that's not important right now."

05/08/18 9:17:44

 1
"Captain, how soon can you land?" "I can't tell." "You can tell me. I'm a doctor." "No. I mean I'm just not sure." "Well, can't you take a guess?" "Well, not for another tw... --Crunchy Chords
Dave Bryan Vote score: 1057Dave Bryan

Bird on the wing

05/08/18 8:00:15

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 20480Michael Winner

"Oh yeah? Buddy, we're both flying south, you've paid $900 for no legroom and bad food whilst seated next to a 20 stone lady with a screaming baby but somehow I'M the crazy one?"

05/08/18 8:14:50

 
stone face Vote score: 1217stone face

Judge-"You said you started smashing up the plane because you saw a duck on the wing.This is the second time you've used that excuse.Are you obsessed with ducks ,young man."

"No mallard."

05/08/18 9:37:34

 
Leroy Brown Vote score: 7620Leroy Brown

Is it a bird, is it a plane no it's...er well actually it's both.

05/08/18 9:25:23

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 18863Ian Skelding

"Duck!"
"I know, I can see it."
"No, I mean 'duck', there's a case falling out of the lugg ... too late."

05/08/18 9:20:45

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 1057Dave Bryan

Ryanair economy class passenger

05/08/18 8:16:04

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 4634Glyn Evans

*thinks "How did they get all these motherducking snakes on this motherducking plane?"

05/08/18 8:15:04

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 1057Dave Bryan

Scientists have finally discovered how birds can fly such huge distances.

05/08/18 8:09:21

 
Tina  Flowers Vote score: 332Tina Flowers

'Excuse me, I don't suppose anyone has a map I can borrow, I seem to be a little lost'.

05/08/18 9:36:46

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 2631Vivvy En

'Hmm, I could definitely squeeze a few more in there,' thought Sir Freddie Draker.

05/08/18 9:04:50

 
Matt Schtick Vote score: 14Matt Schtick

The omelette is made of what! Well, what's in the canard a l'orange?

Tue 12:47:34

 
Annie Anstis Vote score: 17Annie Anstis

Bill loved his wing walking experience voucher

Tue 8:57:15

 
Matt Schtick Vote score: 14Matt Schtick

after the Brussels 'Ducks Rights' ruling, Lazy Gertrude quickly acquired fifty thousand flyer-miles and a dislike of badly behaved children.

06/08/18 15:40:52

 
Carey Sutton Vote score: 175Carey Sutton

I'm a brilliant eider, you couldn't find me

06/08/18 14:06:11

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 4836Greg Curtis

Right-wing Loon-attack

06/08/18 13:26:23

 
Lisa Nelson Lisa Nelson

Trouble over Ryan Air's new Bill Boarding campaign

05/08/18 16:05:53

 
Pete  Vote score: 18117Pete

Pilot: "Mayday, Mayday...we're being hiquacked."

05/08/18 15:48:54

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 15Sam Cass

"Luke, you ate my father!"

05/08/18 14:39:43

 
John  Glover Vote score: 17400John Glover

"I thought I'd take a quick gander at them."

05/08/18 12:09:56

 
C CaMel Vote score: 3324C CaMel

"apparently an old lady across the pond has bread."

05/08/18 9:28:57

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 2025Chris Keegan

A duck with serious altitude

05/08/18 9:09:11

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 10172Dan Nicholls

Keith's Humourous Window Stickers - Catalogue Number 2944.

05/08/18 8:45:48

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 26422Tony Edwards

Ducktch Airlines

05/08/18 8:35:12

 
J Gaskill Vote score: 72J Gaskill

'Where in hell the bread at, wrinkly b*tch!?'

05/08/18 8:18:49

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 20480Michael Winner

A scene from Gary Larson's 'Nightmare at 20,000 Feet."

05/08/18 8:16:56

 
J Gaskill Vote score: 72J Gaskill

Philosopher Duck: "If man catches flight to take flight, and mallard only takes flight, who is lacking both wisdom and power?"

05/08/18 8:11:09

 
J Gaskill Vote score: 72J Gaskill

Why do ducks always insist on wearing dog masks over their beaks?

05/08/18 8:04:22

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 5504Vanessa the Guesser

"The name's Pond... James Pond"

05/08/18 8:01:50

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 8504Neil Mackenzie

He nearly quacked the glass.

05/08/18 8:00:37

 
more photos from the captioning gallery