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Nellie cleverly sneaked to the front of the queue after tapping the man on the shoulder.
Nellie cleverly sneaked to the front of the queue after tapping the man on the shoulder. photo | portfolio
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Dave E Vote score: 182Dave E

Nellie cleverly sneaked to the front of the queue after tapping the man on the shoulder.

12/11/17 12:16:20

 
Boycie Vote score: 6578Boycie

Can I have a Big Mac please?

12/11/17 12:02:58

 
Dave E Vote score: 182Dave E

Maccyderm

12/11/17 12:23:38

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 8497Dan Nicholls

"Do you think the disguise is working?"
"Yep, no one will recognise you with that girly umbrella".

12/11/17 12:10:47

 
John  Glover Vote score: 15711John Glover

"Next time you take the elephant for her walk Nigel, try to keep well away from the camping site."

12/11/17 12:19:48

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 17299Ian Skelding

"Where's my lollipop? I was promised a lollipop."

12/11/17 12:05:22

 
Boycie Vote score: 6578Boycie

What do you get if you cross Big Bird with Mr Snuffleupagus?

12/11/17 12:01:51

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 203Chris Keegan

The XXXXXXXXXXXXXXL was just right but it was never going to fit in his trunk

12/11/17 13:07:28

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 4424Pussy Galore

It's Health & Safety gone mad. Aren't elephants big enough to see without having to wear hi-vis?

13/11/17 0:35:20

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 7893Neil Mackenzie

If only the Tories had taken the Elephant for a walk, Gina Miller wouldn't have seen it in the room.

12/11/17 17:10:44

 
Mark England Vote score: 12723Mark England

"Of course it's Indian, it's wearing a Sari"

12/11/17 12:33:21

 1
The guy on the left must be African, you can tell by the size of his ears. --Michael Winner
Joe Bridal Vote score: 16Joe Bridal

Nellie? Did you trumpety-trump?

13/11/17 22:13:35

 
Pete  Vote score: 16251Pete

Man: "Don't you have a pair of Nellie boots?"
Elephant: "They don't make size 87."

12/11/17 19:46:09

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 3169Kenny Ireland

Jumbo mac.

12/11/17 18:36:27

 
Steve  Fosbraey Vote score: 1681Steve Fosbraey

Sandra was apprehensive at first about internet dating, but this time she really feels that she has found a keeper!

12/11/17 16:50:11

 
Pete  Vote score: 16251Pete

Dumbo and Dumboer.

12/11/17 16:31:39

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 4287Paul Reeve

Nellie the elephant Macked her trunk and said goodbye to the circus.

12/11/17 14:37:41

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 3289Mr Dome

Early photo of the then Prime minister Tony Blair and his deputy John Prescott. John is the fat, lazy, spongeing twat on the right. How ironic

12/11/17 13:48:35

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 3748Vanessa the Guesser

It was a mammoth tusk getting one to fit.

12/11/17 12:27:26

 
ant man Vote score: 205ant man

I much prefer dry humour...

12/11/17 12:27:14

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 28693Welsh Rarebit

Is that Sou'wester Stallone?

12/11/17 12:17:30

 
John  Glover Vote score: 15711John Glover

"Fancy a free ride?"
"Not on your nellie."

12/11/17 12:14:31

 
ant man Vote score: 205ant man

Does my trunk look big in this?

12/11/17 12:07:02

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 19371Michael Winner

Caution: may contain nuts.

12/11/17 12:02:57

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 19371Michael Winner

“So, we meet again, Batman…”

12/11/17 12:02:26

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 19371Michael Winner

"Hey everyone, look- I'm a Netto’s carrier bag.”

12/11/17 12:01:29

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 19371Michael Winner

Why did the elephant wear yellow? So it could hide itself in the custard.

12/11/17 12:00:38

 
ant man Vote score: 205ant man

Cloudy with a Chance of Peanuts...and Nellie LOVES peanuts!

12/11/17 12:00:28

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 28693Welsh Rarebit

Elephants hate getting wet? That's a phallus see.

12/11/17 12:00:20

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 19371Michael Winner

‘Brellaphant.

12/11/17 12:00:18

 
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