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"Mum! I think Im turning into a vampire - Im starting to grow fangs."
"Mum! I think Im turning into a vampire - Im starting to grow fangs." photo | portfolio
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Tony Edwards Vote score: 24425Tony Edwards

"Mum! I think I'm turning into a vampire - I'm starting to grow fangs."

16/05/17 20:20:51

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 4142Pussy Galore

"Mum...Dad...please...get a room!"

17/05/17 10:44:11

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 3383Vanessa the Guesser

Oh dear. Dad was slicing cucumbers in his underpants again.

16/05/17 20:15:53

 3
Why's he putting slices of cucumber there? Seems odd. :) --Jonathan Allsopp
Mr Dome  Vote score: 3049Mr Dome

'ONE TWO THREE SIX FIVE FOUR SEVEN NINE TEN!! Coming ready or not!'

16/05/17 20:31:00

 
C CaMel Vote score: 2053C CaMel

"Mum, we talked about broccoli!"

16/05/17 20:26:17

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2474Jonathan Allsopp

'Of course ...it was Derrida who revised Hegel's dialectic with a post-structuralist deconstruction of the transcendental signifier. How could I forget!'

16/05/17 20:16:09

 
Craig Eddie Vote score: 635Craig Eddie

"Sorry, mum, I thought it was just a fart"

16/05/17 20:01:35

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 17027Ian Skelding

"Tom, would you stop clipping your toenails near our son."

16/05/17 21:54:30

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 19143Michael Winner

"I say we leave him like that, as a warning to our other kids about the dangers of playing with superglue."

16/05/17 20:38:26

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 8337Dan Nicholls

I should not have had that last fruit shoot. My head feels like I've been eaten by a wolf and shat over a cliff twice.

16/05/17 20:09:47

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 7751Neil Mackenzie

Five year old can't believe how thick Diane Abbott is at Maths.

16/05/17 20:09:33

 
John  O Ring John O Ring

Oh gosh mum, I just felt my my brain transforming

23/05/17 7:08:50

 
larry G. Vote score: 911larry G.

"Cover your boobs mom-I'm full."

17/05/17 19:34:44

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 273Crunchy Chords

Young Homer Simpson finishes his Dairylea and realises he forgot to Feed the Fun.

17/05/17 15:15:26

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 4142Pussy Galore

It wouldn't be the last time little Tommy cringed over a Dad joke.

17/05/17 11:06:58

 
Mi6 Bagpuss Vote score: 304Mi6 Bagpuss

''I just want to bring awareness to other kids out there to not fall into the same trap as I did... snorting ice ruins your life.''

17/05/17 2:09:47

 
John  Glover Vote score: 15454John Glover

"Damn, yesterday, I was supposed to pinch two of my dads fags and give them to big Billy next door. I forgot. Now I'm going to get beaten up on my way to school today."

16/05/17 21:36:14

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2474Jonathan Allsopp

'Please no, please, please. No more Jonathan Ross.'

16/05/17 20:29:57

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 1675Vivvy En

"Only my mum could stab the straw right through the back of the drinks pouch!"

16/05/17 20:28:39

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2474Jonathan Allsopp

'Dad! This speed is rubbish. I told you to buy from Jack the Chisel, not Big Norm. Can't you do anything right?'

16/05/17 20:25:04

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2474Jonathan Allsopp

'Grandma's pants are on my pillow ... I feel ill.'

16/05/17 20:18:24

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 3049Mr Dome

Oh teddy bears!! I failed the breathalyser again!

16/05/17 20:17:19

 
tony kelly Vote score: 929tony kelly

''What - you mean I have to do four more Spiderman movies? But I'll be at least ten years old by then!''

16/05/17 20:12:48

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 8337Dan Nicholls

Ice cream headache ice cream headache.

16/05/17 20:05:51

 
Pete  Vote score: 15943Pete

"Look at the votes! I had the same caption but wasn't fast enough."

16/05/17 20:05:13

 
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