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"Bloody sat nav, twelve hours swimming, instead of Calais Im back at Dover."
"Bloody sat nav, twelve hours swimming, instead of Calais Im back at Dover." photo | portfolio
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John  Glover Vote score: 15257John Glover

"Bloody sat nav, twelve hours swimming, instead of Calais I'm back at Dover."

12/02/17 13:41:40

 
Joe Vote score: 1339Joe

We shall Skype them on the beaches...

12/02/17 21:57:44

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 18703Michael Winner

“Sorry honey, I didn’t realise my phone was off- I’ve been sucking a Fisherman’s Friend.”

12/02/17 12:00:22

 2
I understand he was a master baiter, Mr Dome. --Pussy Galore
Lawrence Day Vote score: 253Lawrence Day

Hi i have managed to get to the uk, it has cost me the shirt off my back, and trousers

12/02/17 12:04:31

 
Pete  Vote score: 15446Pete

"Petunia, call off the coastguard. I'm waving not drowning."

13/02/17 11:29:27

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 1454Vivvy En

Hi, I've reached France. I've left my passport in my trousers. Can you bring it over please?

12/02/17 19:01:18

 
Polymorph . Vote score: 751Polymorph .

"Hallo! is that the Home Office ? My name is Mustaffa P., I'm Syrian & I claim amnesty.."

14/02/17 17:00:29

 
larry G. Vote score: 872larry G.

Dam, I think I lost a tooth!"

14/02/17 6:29:28

 
Michael Monkhouse Vote score: 2804Michael Monkhouse

Mum?

13/02/17 18:05:14

 
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 2911Stephen Paterson

"Och, false alarm! It's jist another wan of those Siri-yins!"

13/02/17 12:55:05

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 7574Neil Mackenzie

Oh shit I've got water in my phone.
Well I did tell you not to open Windows.

12/02/17 18:58:11

 
Mr Dome Vote score: 2633Mr Dome

Farcetime

12/02/17 14:29:59

 
GeeDee Vote score: 2182GeeDee

Jane,I've managed to smuggle the Budgie out, where do you want to meet me??

12/02/17 13:58:31

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 7850Dan Nicholls

Lake Tindermere (nod to 12:10:48)

12/02/17 13:34:48

 
tony kelly Vote score: 795tony kelly

''...and I will find you. And I will thrill you.''

12/02/17 13:29:46

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 3710Pussy Galore

He gets in trouble so often, he's got the coastguard on speedo dial.

12/02/17 12:31:46

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 3710Pussy Galore

If I can angle this selfie just right, it'll look as if I've got a pair of oars growing out of my head.

12/02/17 12:23:42

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 23963Tony Edwards

Trunks call

12/02/17 12:21:52

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 1902Jonathan Allsopp

'No, this is Lake Windermere, mate. Not Lake Underwear.'

12/02/17 12:10:49

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 18703Michael Winner

The coastguard close in on a Melopsittacus Undulatus smuggler.

12/02/17 12:02:00

 
Andrea  Hickling Vote score: 816Andrea Hickling

All talk and no trousers

12/02/17 12:01:20

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 3710Pussy Galore

He's always surfing the internet.

12/02/17 13:30:47

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 2949Vanessa the Guesser

The Cox Wayne decided to leave after a big row.

12/02/17 12:41:42

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 2949Vanessa the Guesser

Shop online to check out the trunks for sail.

12/02/17 12:20:35

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 23963Tony Edwards

Mark Spits

12/02/17 12:17:57

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 27671Welsh Rarebit

Shock and Oar

12/02/17 12:16:20

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 1902Jonathan Allsopp

'I'm not boat number 2, but I need to do a number 2...'

12/02/17 12:13:44

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 1902Jonathan Allsopp

Joel didn't like the way his grandpa had begged to see his blue underpants.

12/02/17 12:06:28

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 27671Welsh Rarebit

"Eek! how's my photo on camption.me?"

12/02/17 12:02:16

 
sandeep chahal Vote score: 508sandeep chahal

"Fucking Piranhas!"

12/02/17 12:00:09

 
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