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" ... and now on BBC2 Planet Earth for the hard of hearing."
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Ian Skelding Vote score: 15949Ian Skelding

" ... and now on BBC2 Planet Earth for the hard of hearing."

14/04/17 20:38:23

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 2837Kenny Ireland

This one smells like my ring finger.

14/04/17 22:15:46

 1
lol! --Welsh Rarebit
Mark England Vote score: 11836Mark England

"Now let's see...I had Nineteen for breakfast, Twenty One for lunch.. Thirty for dinner...and if I've calculated right....yes, that bastard zookeeper still owes me five bananas"

14/04/17 20:46:00

 
tony kelly Vote score: 626tony kelly

''Yes. They're definitely much softer since I started using furry liquid.''

14/04/17 21:16:33

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 1245Jonathan Allsopp

Boris Johnson went to the party as Tina Turner (although it could have been the other way round).

14/04/17 20:23:08

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 26675Welsh Rarebit

"Right Beryl, how many shall I invite to the swingers party?"

14/04/17 20:07:49

 
John  Glover Vote score: 14676John Glover

"Why is it that when I pick a really massive bogie, there's no one around to show it to."

14/04/17 20:52:34

 
Pete  Vote score: 14666Pete

Gypsy Rose O'Rangutan specialises in reading palms.

14/04/17 20:49:41

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 1245Jonathan Allsopp

'Oh God. My wife's just texted and she's going ape.'

14/04/17 20:30:06

 
Smuldo Vote score: 9002Smuldo

Plan it, of the apes.

14/04/17 20:13:53

 
Mark England Vote score: 11836Mark England

"This would make a lovely ashtray"

14/04/17 20:04:43

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 4025Greg Curtis

"Can't BELIEVE there's no zipper."

17/04/17 2:47:53

 
Gf j Vote score: 182Gf j

'If I had opposable thumbs I would be making this documentary...'

14/04/17 22:55:50

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 23168Tony Edwards

Clyde amuses himself with a game of rock-paper-scissors.

14/04/17 21:03:47

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 2270Vanessa the Guesser

Have you considered a career with HM Revenue & Customs?

14/04/17 21:02:45

 
John  Glover Vote score: 14676John Glover

"Damn, where's me glasses."

14/04/17 20:32:30

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 1245Jonathan Allsopp

'What do you want to listen to? Jungle?'

14/04/17 20:30:51

 
larry G. Vote score: 807larry G.

"Dammit, I chipped a nail."

14/04/17 20:19:23

 
John Llamas Vote score: 17014John Llamas

Clyde had found that the ring fitted every which way but loose

14/04/17 20:17:03

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 2270Vanessa the Guesser

Next on ITV, The Rhesus Factor

14/04/17 20:16:32

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 2771Pussy Galore

Mr Trump counts the cost of the air strike on Syria.

14/04/17 20:16:20

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 1179Vivvy En

"One, two, three, four. I'm sure there were five last time."

14/04/17 20:08:40

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 7317Neil Mackenzie

Oh dear is it 4 weeks since my last body wax thought Geri Halliwell.

14/04/17 20:05:52

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 15949Ian Skelding

"I said RIGHT turn Clyde."

14/04/17 20:03:40

 
John  Glover Vote score: 14676John Glover

"Ooooh, I appear to have a very short life line,....... aaaaargh........."

14/04/17 20:01:53

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 26675Welsh Rarebit

PG fingertips

14/04/17 20:00:09

 
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