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" ... and now on BBC2 Planet Earth for the hard of hearing."
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Ian Skelding Vote score: 17449Ian Skelding

" ... and now on BBC2 Planet Earth for the hard of hearing."

14/04/17 19:38:23

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 3230Kenny Ireland

This one smells like my ring finger.

14/04/17 21:15:46

 1
lol! --Welsh Rarebit
Mark England Vote score: 12759Mark England

"Now let's see...I had Nineteen for breakfast, Twenty One for lunch.. Thirty for dinner...and if I've calculated right....yes, that bastard zookeeper still owes me five bananas"

14/04/17 19:46:00

 
tony kelly Vote score: 1065tony kelly

''Yes. They're definitely much softer since I started using furry liquid.''

14/04/17 20:16:33

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2799Jonathan Allsopp

Boris Johnson went to the party as Tina Turner (although it could have been the other way round).

14/04/17 19:23:08

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 28899Welsh Rarebit

"Right Beryl, how many shall I invite to the swingers party?"

14/04/17 19:07:49

 
John  Glover Vote score: 15954John Glover

"Why is it that when I pick a really massive bogie, there's no one around to show it to."

14/04/17 19:52:34

 
Pete  Vote score: 16425Pete

Gypsy Rose O'Rangutan specialises in reading palms.

14/04/17 19:49:41

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2799Jonathan Allsopp

'Oh God. My wife's just texted and she's going ape.'

14/04/17 19:30:06

 
Smuldo Vote score: 9647Smuldo

Plan it, of the apes.

14/04/17 19:13:53

 
Mark England Vote score: 12759Mark England

"This would make a lovely ashtray"

14/04/17 19:04:43

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 4345Greg Curtis

"Can't BELIEVE there's no zipper."

17/04/17 1:47:53

 
Gf j Vote score: 327Gf j

'If I had opposable thumbs I would be making this documentary...'

14/04/17 21:55:50

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 25016Tony Edwards

Clyde amuses himself with a game of rock-paper-scissors.

14/04/17 20:03:47

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 3933Vanessa the Guesser

Have you considered a career with HM Revenue & Customs?

14/04/17 20:02:45

 
John  Glover Vote score: 15954John Glover

"Damn, where's me glasses."

14/04/17 19:32:30

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2799Jonathan Allsopp

'What do you want to listen to? Jungle?'

14/04/17 19:30:51

 
larry G. Vote score: 918larry G.

"Dammit, I chipped a nail."

14/04/17 19:19:23

 
John Llamas Vote score: 18193John Llamas

Clyde had found that the ring fitted every which way but loose

14/04/17 19:17:03

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 3933Vanessa the Guesser

Next on ITV, The Rhesus Factor

14/04/17 19:16:32

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 4617Pussy Galore

Mr Trump counts the cost of the air strike on Syria.

14/04/17 19:16:20

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 1898Vivvy En

"One, two, three, four. I'm sure there were five last time."

14/04/17 19:08:40

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 7936Neil Mackenzie

Oh dear is it 4 weeks since my last body wax thought Geri Halliwell.

14/04/17 19:05:52

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 17449Ian Skelding

"I said RIGHT turn Clyde."

14/04/17 19:03:40

 
John  Glover Vote score: 15954John Glover

"Ooooh, I appear to have a very short life line,....... aaaaargh........."

14/04/17 19:01:53

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 28899Welsh Rarebit

PG fingertips

14/04/17 19:00:09

 
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